Sexual Relationships
1 mo

I'm a female, 22y and I have never even kissed?

Well, I don't know how to start this but let's go.

I'm a female, 22y and I have never even kissed. I've only fallen in love once (I was too young and didn't have the guts to tell him) and I'm not the extroverted and/or party girl type so I don't usually interact with men. That associated with the fact that I don't fall in love easily has made that I got to 22 years old without having had a relationship, not having been kissed and still being a virgin.

I feel fine with my body and who I am so I don't think the problem is lack of confidence (I think I'm more of an average/slightly ugly looking girl but I'm completely okay with that).

I've felt a bit pressured by my friends to have some kind of romantic relationship with someone but I never gave that too much though. However recently I had my first gynecologist appointment and I felt judge by her for being a virgin and she even refused to do a transvaginal exam (that she said was needed to evaluate if my problems with period pain had an underlying cause) because I was a virgin.

Bottom line is, that made me think I'm missing out on life but I don't know how to solve this problem. Any tips or opinions are welcome.

Ps: I'm sorry if I've made some writing mistakes, my native language isn't English

0 0

AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

  • The number one thing is that you have to do what's right for you. Don't let any friends or anybody else tell you what you should or shouldn't be doing when it comes to your sex life.

    The question is, do you want to have sex? Are you a sexual person? Do you masturbate? (Not all sexual people masturbate, but I can't stop myself! If you're a virgin, without a partner, there's only so many ways one can explore their sexuality) If yes is the answer to any or all of these questions, go out and find a nice guy to fool around with. I realize that the stigma of being a virgin causes a lot of anxiety in both men and women, but there's no reason for it. Explain to your prospective partner your situation and it will happen eventually.

    For me all I think about is sex, so yes, I'd be missing out bigtime, but sex isn't for everybody. Some people are completely asexual and they have no interest and that's fine. There is no right or wrong to a person's sexuality. Also you have no frame of reference of how good intimacy and sex feel. That's why I asked about masturbation before. If you do, then you know what you are "missing".

    Are you bi-sexual? If you are attracted to girls too, perhaps you can make out with a girlfriend. That way you can practice kissing with someone you trust and like.

    Your English is excellent by the way. Where are you from?

    • Well, I'm sure I'm not asexual and as far as I know, I'm straight. I'm also ok with my sexuality and masturbate at a "good frequency" (I know "good frequency" can mean different things to different people but what I mean is I think I'm in a normal range). So yes, even ignoring peer pressure I feel like I'm missing out (but this feeling grew after that doctor appointment, to be completely honest). I truly just found it hard to get on with guys in real life and I guess that feeling of not belonging just grew this past weeks and with that came the guilt of not being able to act like a "girl my age". I know I can put myself more out there but I don't think that's enough to solve that problem, but again, I don't particularly know what more to do about it (or maybe I'm just complicating it too much...). Also, about my English, thank you! I'm from Portugal.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Just as guys can find find it difficult to chat girls up, I am beginning to think it can equally be a problem for girls but in reverse. I was painfully shy at talking to girls and sort of thought they would call the cops but I had the fortunate idea of talking to bar girls and waitresses. So i practiced on them for a while. It worked.

    There is no real way over this guy talks to girls, girl to to guys and at some it comes down to a guy and girl who like each other and they become a couple. I don't know what country you are from or what the culture is but given you don't interact much with guys you need to start changing that.

    Start by simply greeting guys you know and smile. If there is a guy you don't know simply say "Hi I'm XYZ". You don't need to say much, you don't need to crack jokes. The easiest thing is to ask questions - if you are at uni and the obvious one is what course are you doing or how long have you been working here. Good idea to remember that big project they are working on.

    Sooner or later there will be a guy that you like that likes you.

    I think the gyno had no medical ethics to cast judgements on you being a virgin so simply find another.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 11

  • A response to this question can't really be given without knowing your culture. Where do you live?

    • I'm from Portugal. I didn't say that in the original post because, tbh, I don't think this problem is related to Portugal culture around sex and dating but I could always be wrong

    • The answer would be much different in you were living in a fundamentalist Islamic state. I re-read your post and this paragraph continued to get my attention: "I'm a female, 22y and I have never even kissed. I've only fallen in love once (I was too young and didn't have the guts to tell him) and I'm not the extroverted and/or party girl type so I don't usually interact with men. That associated with the fact that I don't fall in love easily has made that I got to 22 years old without having had a relationship, not having been kissed and still being a virgin." It sounds like you view kissing and affection as something that should happen after you fall in love. Is that correct?

  • Usually if you just go out in public eventually a guy will talk to you. Otherwise you could volunteer for stuff. That at least puts you in a group with guys who are a little bit like minded.

  • Your purity is becoming rarer and rarer in our society, you might be missing out on a bunch of sex and shit but if you think of it nothing that really matters is found in those experiences, I can assure you that if you find the guy that's perfect for you, he will appreciate your purity and all that pressure is pointless if you want things that matter, most women might not care about body count but I can assure you more men care about it than women, of course people will try pressuring you to do things but at the end of the day it doesn't matter what they want, personally I'm impressed by it, it definitely stands out of the crowd.

  • I'd be considering reporting doctor for not performing the procedure.
    Anyway, don't worry bout lack of experienc you're fine (I didn't do anything till 35). All i would say is if you want to change it you need to be proactive l, if you just sit back the years will roll by, believe me.
    I do look back and wonder, but then my journey brought me to where i am with two beautiful kids. There is a tinge of regret over a lost decade or more but I wouldn't change it even if I was able to.

  • Maybe go out to parties with friends or anywhere you can meet people? And wearing hot clothing would also attract a lot of potential dates 🙂

  • You ain't missing on out anything. If you force stuff, it will be just bad.

  • So what are you waiting for

  • If you feel ok about it that’s all that matters. If you want to loose your virginity it gain some other kind of experience go for it!

  • That's nothing to do with Virginity, you can kiss somebody if you find right guy don't worry about it..

  • And it gets the worst past 25

  • I think you get idea from porn or adult movies..

  • At 22, you should have figure this out a long time ago.

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