I'm lost. Please help. I dont want us to end?

It's been almost 3 weeks since we had intimacy. On average it's once a month. Maybe twice in a good Month. From the start of our relationship i said to my partner sex and intimacy is extremely important to me and i think it's import to have a healthy sexual appetite of 2 to 5 times a week.

I get things get busy and their is times of the month it might be less but even then we are well Below this.

Added to this the kast time we had sex she made the comment making me feel she is omly having sex because its what "i need". To get it out kf my system kr something. Im not a selish lover and ensure she is pleasured before i even get attention most times.

Added to this it is effecting my ability to perform as im not sleeping well because of my frustrations. I teied to initiate the last 6 days and being refused or rejected is hurts the ego, confidence and self esteem.

I have brought the issue up and explained this multiple times and i feel guilty and selfish. Last time it eas discussed it was good for a week and then by the end of the week its on its way down to once a month.

I love her with all my heart but i can't deal with the constant rejection. Im feeling extremely depressed today over it.

I have tried flowers, messages, flirting, and rqndom acts of affection. Im lost on what to do or say.

She never really initiates. She initiated once a few months ago. Ever since then its been me and constant rejection.

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  • It's a tough situation man. Mismatched sex drives can be really hard on a relationship. A few thoughts:

    - First off, don't feel guilty for having needs. Your happiness matters too. It's good you communicated how important intimacy is early on.

    - Does she know this is really affecting your mental health? Feeling depressed over constant rejection is understandable. Make sure she realizes how serious an issue it's become.

    - Have you had a serious, caring talk to get to the root of why she's not interested much? Could be stress, hormones, lifestyle factors on her end. Worth exploring with empathy on both sides.

    - Does she put effort into meeting your needs in other ways, like quality non-sexual affection? A good relationship needs balance.

    - Counseling might help if you're stuck. A mediator can help you address it productively.

    - It may run its course if effort doesn't change over time though. Don't stay somewhere that makes you unhappy long term.

    For now, focus on feeling better. Hit the gym, hang with friends, do stuff you enjoy. Come at it with patience but don't be afraid to set boundaries for your well-being too. You got this, man - do what's right for you in the end.

    • Great message. Thank you. I brought it up last night. She brought up the issue eith keeping my errection. I explained i went to the doctor. Its not an issue sith being able to get or kedpan errection from arousal. They dont want to prescribe medications. my issue flexibility. Im mid 40s and a tradie. Big days and that night i can't walk without discomfort. They suggested gym and exercise. I now need to research or find someone to assist in improving my flexibility and stretching. That time of the month isn't helping this week but the conversation ended eith a blowjob We have a date today. I will bring uo my mental health again in a positive way. Tgat communication is vital and understanding that yes our daily lives are currently very stressful we stillneed need to out in the physical effort in the bedroom after a long day

    • Dude that's awesome that you were able to open up and have that honest talk with her. Props to you for going to the doctor too to make sure everything's good on your end - it's important she knows you're putting in the effort. A blowjob is always a good way to end a convo like that haha. Hope you have a great date today! Keeping the lines of communication open is so key. Definitely bring up your mental health and how important feeling connected is for you. Promise her you want to make things work, but she needs to meet you halfway too. Suggest maybe trying to fit in intimacy even when you're tired a couple times a week. Compromise is everything. Proud of you for speaking your truth, man. I'm sure if you keep talking it through, you guys will find your rhythm again in no time. Let me know how the date goes!

  • Two questions: How long have you been together, and have things always been this way between you or has her sex drive gradually decreased to where it is now?

    • 3 years together. Its been stressful the kast couple months with things outside of our relationship. We are good as a couple just our intimacy has dropped At start for first 12 months we were having sex 3 to 5 times a week. She did say at one point she can live without sex and i told her its important for a relationship. Im not wanting a room mate or new best friend. She has told me on occasions how much she craves me but its rare.

  • there are only 2 choices, stay with her the way it is because it's not going to change, or leave and get with someone who wants it as much as you do. my boyfriend and i can't keep our hands off each other when we're together

    • Definitely want to be with her. I dont want to cheat. I want to improve our sex lives. How to bring it up without coming across selfish

    • a girl like that is not going to change, you're going to be stuck with very little sex