I'm not sexually satisfied with my girlfriend. What should I do?

We have talked about this and she is upset about it and wants to fix it and do things for me, but I don't want her to force herself to make me happy.

My sex drive is much higher than hers and I want to do it more often, but she usually is not in the mood. After I please her, she doesn't really want to do anything to please me out of her own will, and I have to ask her to do things and recieve a sad look on her face because she isn't in the mood anymore. She is completely satisfied while I'm left doing all the work for her as well as myself. She also doesn't have the energy to work during sex so I have to control everything, which I don't really mind, but it does tend to get boring for me. I'm happy she enjoys herself, but I can't continue like this.

What do I do? I really love this girl and I don't want to break up just because of sex. We've been dating for almost a year now, but we seem to perfectly fit together other than this. We don't have arguments either.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Sorry to break it to you but you guys are not sexually compatible. If it wasn't that big of a deal you wouldn't be here asking the question. Life is too short man. Go out and find someone who is sexually compatible. She sounds like she's more into vanilla sex. Which is fine. She would probably be happier finding a guy who also isn't that crazy into sex. It sucks but that's just the way things work sometimes. It's going to be hard but you guys will eventually find someone.

    • Thing is, she's not into vanilla sex and is very kinky as am I. We're very compatible in that nature, except for the fact that I last like 10x longer than her lol. What you said is very true though and I'll have to think extremely hard on this. Thing is, I'm not too worried about it right now, but am scared it might be an issue in the future.

  • I'd suggest you consider splitting the investment in a good couples therapist and find the middle ground.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I mean has she gone to a doctor maybe she has some kinda hormonal thing going on. But she says she wants to make it better but she shows no effort. Is she aware that u r to the point of thinking about breaking up cuz ur guys aren't sexually compatible?

    • She actually does have POTS which affects her hormones. She does show effort and wants to make it better, but she forces herself to which is something I do not want her to do.

    • Sounds like her condition causes her low sex drive. Any medications that help?

    • She does take medication that help and she doesn't have a low sex drive, hers is normal. It's mine that's extremely high lol, it's always been very high.

  • Oh I am in the same situation but inverted, it’s the guy that gives up on me as soon as he’s done! But now I’m about to switch things up and make him wait.

    • Yeah this is probably a good idea

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 5
  • Make her get you off first

    • This is actually incredibly smart and I have not thought of this. Thank you. An issue I might have with this though is while pleasing her I'm most definitely going to get in the mood again and feel left out lol. This might be the best idea and I'll have to try this out though.

  • A break-up doesn't have to be someone's fault. There's nothing wrong with her, but she's wrong for you. "I can't continue like this" -- exactly. There are a LOT of perfectly nice single women. You need more than just nice. You need someone who fits with you, and in a very important way your girlfriend is not a match for you.

  • Make her feel better to be in the mood and also maybe there's something about that she doesn't return the favor some girls are just like that keep it within them.

    • Well she has POTS which makes her very tired and fainty after a few orgasms, and she refuses to get back in the mood after her orgasms because she just wants to cuddle after hers so I have to do the work for myself and herself.

  • Porn

  • If your level of desire isn't in sync with hers, that's a problem man. You need to decide for yourself if you're okay with that long-term, since you apparently aren't okay with getting a side piece.

  • She doesn't sound sexually satisfied if she's not in the mood for more.

    • She is, but she has POTS so she gets tired after orgasms quickly and feels a little fainty lol

  • Get a second girlfriend. If you like her but she's bad at sex just get a girl that is and open the relationship.

    • I have a problem with jealousy and so does she so an open relationship would never work out and it's not my thing.

  • She can’t just take one for the team and suck you off after sex?