Sexual Relationships
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I’m only attracted to very masculine men, is that a problem?

I’ve always thought that I just don’t experience the same level of attraction as other women do or that I need to be very much in love to feel sexual attraction. But recently I’ve discovered that’s not the case. I fall in love with nice, softer guy’s but I’m more sexually attracted to masculine macho men.

I was going to save myself for marriage which was not difficult for me at all. But then I fell in love with a guy that was perfect for me, nice, soft (meaning emotionally available and expressive/sensitive) but at the same time very masculine and macho. But this combination is hard to come by.

Now I’ve met a really nice guy. One I can see myself marrying. We share same values and beliefs. The problem is I feel zero attraction for him. He’s good looking but not that masculine. I don’t know if this is rooted in some daddy issues or something. I don’t want it to be like this. Any advice what I can do about this?
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  • What's wrong with that? It's really just natural and even those women who prefer softer guys cannot deny that a masculine man is attractive.

    Now within the context of marriage as you mentioned, you might want to talk about it with him. You could come to a solution together.

    • How do you mean? I honestly don’t get the guy he says he likes me and is serious but then is not eager to see me doesn’t text me that often. Some say it has to be 50/50 but I think it should be 70/30 at least in the beginning.

    • Talk to him avout your lack of attraction.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 12

  • You'd be willing to marry someone you're not sexually attracted to? What would be the point of marrying someone you don't wanna have sex with? Sex is SUPER important in every relationship.

    • No of course not. I just recently started seeing the guy so I’m hoping the sexual attraction will come later. But I also want to change my mindset if that’s possible

  • Don't marry the guy you aren't attracted to. That will be a tragedy. Find one you want to marry that you find attractive.

    • Yeah of course. But because of my lack of experience I don’t really know how to analyse situations like this. I’ve never felt instant attraction to anyone. I’ve actually only felt sexual attraction to 3 men in my life. One I was in a relationship I was only attracted to the first 3 months after that I didn’t even want to kiss him. My previous boyfriend is the only one I’ve had continues attraction to and only one I’ve had sex with.

  • That sounds like how most women are.

    • Is it? I’m the only one I know thats like this

    • So you actually know women who are more sexually attracted to less masculine men?

    • Yeah. When I talk about these things with my female friends they don’t have the same mindset at all. Every woman is different. I have one friend that’s attracted to success and money, another one likes funny outgoing guys. Everyone is different

  • Why isn’t he masculine. List a few examples where If he was masculine he would act differently

    • The way he carries himself, like the way he sits. His tone when he talks, the way he talks. Another thing is masculine guys tends to “lead” more. Like take charge. This guy I met now has yet to take me out on a real date, which is difficult because of the pandemic but he could take me on a coffee drive or something

    • That makes sense. All those examples I didn’t realize are examples of masculine behavior however because as you listed them I’m thinking that’s default behavior. I mean if I liked a girl and wanted to get to know her better, of course I make action to plan a date and ask her out. Of course if one of us will lead it’s me because I know what I want and can create happiness like I’ve done before. If I’m speaking of course if I feel confident my tone is stronger and more direct. Seems like these are all instincts we have as guys in our behavior so I don’t know why he hesitates unless he is scared

    • Yeah that’s how it should be. I really don’t get it. He’s been interested in me for a while and I wasn’t so I’ve been thinking maybe he got to a point where his level of interest went down or that he wanted what he couldn’t have or something. Even texting, I had to tell him several times for him to text and he still barley texts. Now I’ve said we should hang out and I suggested some covid safe outdoor places. Obviously I could ask him out, be the one that texts and leads the whole thing but I don’t want to. I want to courted, I find that attractive

    • Show All

  • Get him to take testostrone pills. Also work out. Or get him a job in construcion

    • He works out, but I don’t think he lifts heavy enough. I think he’s been kind of spoiled. It seems like he’s had most things handed to him. His parents has done everything for him, even helped him get his current job. Me, growing up with a single mother, I had to take responsibility early on. He works in construction kind of but as a manager of some kind.

    • if he is a manager in construction easy. Tell the workers about the none manliy things and they will beat him into a man metophoricly. Any time he acts like a bitch call him baby dick. Will man him up if he was spoiled.

  • It is for the skinny guys like me, but no human nature tends to lean towards the more muscular and masculine men.

    • It’s not about appearance, i’s the way a guy is. Energy, body language, the way he sits talks etc

  • yeah

  • whatever works for ya

  • You know what makes you wet, go fo it.
    Don’t overthink it. Just do it.

  • The masculine guy's penis won't be any more masculine than the next guy

  • totally normal

  • You don't have "daddy issues". You are just an average woman who is experiencing the same cognitive dissonance pretty much every other heterosexual woman experiences. It's a fact that most women "like" nice men, but it is only the bad boy types who make their panties wet.

  • I have a solution for you, marry the soft guy you love and get yourself a macho man to fuck you on the sides, enjoy the best of both worlds.

    • Or try to figure out why I’m only sexually attracted to very masculine guys and maybe that will help

    • My ex was super soft and masculine at the same time so guys like that do exist

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