I made out with my cousins husband, so should I tell her?

He made the first move but I kissed him back. I'm on edge about whether or not he's going to tell her... Do you think he will? And should I get in there first and tell her before he does? I don't know what the right thing to do is. What I did was awful but I can't take it back now. Do I keep quiet and hope he doesn't tell her, or do I tell her? Also what shall I do when I see him again at family events, completely ignore him? So awkward.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • You should absolutely tell her. She has a right to know that her husband is a piece of shit cheater. What you did was wrong, yes, but like you said you can't take it back. Make up for your actions by saving her the heartbreak, save her the time if having to deal with this asshole

    • Well, they've been together for over 10 years and have 2 children together. I'm contemplating if it's worth it, as she probably won't break up with him. But if she does, it'll be my fault. Are you sure it's best to say? Or leave her happy in her marriage and blissfully unaware? My whole family will disown me if they find out as well.

    • He'll just cheat again, with someone different. Put yourself if the woman's shoes. How would you feel. Would you really not want to know, or would you want to find a man who is really committed to you and the relationship?

    • So do you think because he kissed me that he'll 100% be cheating with other people? The thing is, my cousin doesn't have proof of these other people. She'd only have proof of me if I admitted it (which I'm sure would be bad enough) but I have a feeling she wouldn't divorce him over a single kiss. Then in the process my entire family will disown me for it. I'll think about it.. I am just worried he's going to admit it to her and then I'll look really bad because I haven't said a thing.

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  • Congrats to you
    You are a slut.
    So now bear the consequences of your actions.

    So if you have a bit of dignity left in you, go and tell the truth and do not try to put all blame on him as you too took part in it for it happen.

    I made out with my cousins husband, so should I tell her?I made out with my cousins husband, so should I tell her?

Most Helpful Girl

  • You got to be from Kentucky I just know it

    • Im from the UK

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 7
  • This is lose, lose for you at this point. Taking it any further may be exhilarating, but it will make the situation much worse for you. I say wait to see what he does, but stand ready to face her to tell the truth, and face the consequences.

    Maybe if it feels appropriate later, tell her. But, be aware of your motives to do so. It could wreck a marraige or make your life more difficult.

  • Either way, it could go badly for you. Probably keep it to yourself is the best bet.

    • Yeah, I'm only debating telling her because I'm worried he's going to get in there first. If he does tell her, it'll make me look twice as bad because it'll be me who never came forward. Do you think he will tell her? You're a guy.. you'll know. I rarely see her or him, maybe once a year or twice a year. I'm from the UK and they're from Ireland, my family goes over to visit. I've known him years but this was the first time we'd ever been alone in a room together and he made the first move. Do you think he cheats on her constantly with other women if he'll kiss me, her cousin?

    • Was there some kind of attraction going on over the years, or did this happen very spontaneously? Making out is a lot to happen with a married guy, in just a little bit of time. I'd gauge it by what you think of him. Is he a calculator, who manipulates and controls, or is devious? If he is used to covering up and blaming others, then you are probably best going first. If he is laid back, likes to let things sit, doesn't maneuver and manipulate, they it may be better to do nothing. It's a very difficult situation, and either way can go bad. If you think he can't keep it to himself, or will try to blame it on you to cover his reactions, the you are best saying something first.

    • I've always had a feeling he was attracted to me, he never really did anything to suggest he was but I just sensed it. I hate sounding bigheaded and there are a lot of things I'd change about myself if I could but I am definitely attractive, I'm tall and slim with long dark hair, a nice face with freckles, a bum and also big boobs. I'm ten years younger than my cousin, she's pretty. But not very striking or foxy in how she dresses etc whereas I am. It was spontaneous the second he was alone with me. I have never been alone with him in a room until that moment. It was at a house party which my cousin wasn't at and we were drinking and also on mdma.

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  • You better tell as unfortunately every family shindig that stigma will be over your head plus whats to say he will try again or more

    • Well he made the first move and it was the first ever time I'd been alone in a room with him. So I'm not sure what he'll try to do if we're ever alone in the room together again. Especially if he's drunk..

    • I know the stigma was more knowing he made the move not you (kissing back sometimes is auto pilot ) but yes be worried about being along again more if he's been drinking

    • How do you think he's going to act around me when my cousin is there with him? I can just imagine it being so awkward. I won't know where to look.

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  • I would recommend just keeping that one to yourself and avoiding him at future gatherings.

    • It's going to be extremely hard to avoid him. When I visit that side of my family, it's me and my parents and then my cousin, him, a few other cousins and their parents. That's it..

    • I hear ya... but avoiding him isn't that hard. I absolutely want nothing to do with my brother, but he lives in the next town over. So how do I avoid dealing with him at family get togethers? I simply don't talk to him unless I need to.

    • Haha oh dear, sorry about you and your brother. I take it your family are aware you and him don't get along? Therefore it's not as awkward to avoid him at gatherings. Considering I have this massive secret which none of my family know about, do you think it's risky to act really avoidant of him in case my family clock on and wonder why?

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  • He could use that against you to get what he wants from you be careful im not sure what i would do i know thats no help im not sure what to tell you

    • How would he use it against me? And to get what? Not to worry, you haven't got to tell me anything it's just good to get varied opinions. I'm just as bad for kissing him back. What's worse is I don't feel much remorse for doing it either, I'm just worried he's going to tell her and make me look bad. I don't actually feel THAT bad though, probably because I'm not close to my cousin at all. It's kind of a naughty thrill but you know you're a piece of shit for doing it. And so scared of being caught. I am ten years younger than him and I'm single though so I have not got as much to lose as he has.

    • He could tell you to give him what he wants as in sex or he could tell you he will tell her it was all you that started it some men are true A-holes like that but if you don't really care then the ball is in your court and how you play it is all up to you i will admit it does sound hot maybe im bad for thinking that

    • I would sleep with him, I sort of want to. The only part I am terrified of is getting caught. Not the guilt.. yeah it's so much hotter when you're not supposed to be doing it. It makes you so lustful for them as well. It's no way near as exciting when you're allowed to do it.

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  • Don't tell her. I am sure he feels the same, no need to rock the boat imho
    act like it never happened the next time you guys meet. shit happens, let it go

    • Interesting point you've made there, you're the first person to say to me not to tell her. I have the risk of my entire family disowning me if it comes out as well, I'm just worried he'll tell her. So do you think he definitely won't? I'd love to see how he acts around me if we're ever alone in the room together again.

    • well, I am sure he has got a family too and not too eager to throw that a way just for a kiss, so yeah my bet is that he won't. about you... try not to get yourself in that situation when you guys are alone. it seems you think about it and crave for it - this is bad and will lead to bigger complications. If you seek excitement, look for it outside of your family circle.

    • I suppose I'm just curious to see how he'll act seeing as he's the one who made the first move. He must've always fancied me to do that. I've known this man for years, we've only been alone that once so I don't know if we'll ever be alone again.

  • shame on you..

    • Oh yeah I know. I kissed him back really passionately. I don't know why I did it and thrived off the attention. Maybe I am a piece of shit? At least I can notice it.

  • Holy shit...

    • What?

  • He won’t tell her, he’s not gonna get himself into trouble.

    • Good. Because if he gets there before me so to say, I'll then look REALLY bad. I have always known he's attracted to me, I sensed it, and he made a move the first time we've ever been alone in a room together. I'm wondering how he'll act around me at future family events or if I'm ever alone in the room with him again. I suppose how he acts next time will show whether or not he regrets what he did. I'm 10 years younger than him and my cousin and I'm single, as bad as I was, he has more to lose than I do.

    • He’ll probably try to kiss you again.

    • Really? I'd say if he does that then it means he doesn't feel any remorse for what he's already done.. do you think he's cheating on her with other women? He works a really busy job and seems to always be with her. So I don't get how he could. If he's not cheating with other women, I'm confused as to why he kissed me and risked making the first move.

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