I need answers. What was this all about?

Question

So I was sitting down with him... and all of sudden he was talking bout high school and how every one was having sex at one point of time. In other words he says “ everybody was fuc***ing” repeatedly over again. And then later shows me women who was trying to sleep with him that same night. And I’m just like why you showing me this. At the time we’re sitting down eating pizza, then he made a comment saying , “ I gotta have sex after this pizza, I don't know if imma be able do it. dumb stuff like that. Sad thing is I like him. Was he tryna make me jealous, flirt. WHAT IS IT?

razelove · Accepted Answer

Ok, at 21, I have a good guess. It's a tactic that worked out for him when he was younger to get laid. Not the showing off and casually saying "let's fuck after this pizza" everyone knows you have sex before spicy or greasy food. Anyway, when you're young, and you haven't screwed your way through your peers enough to be a statistic, using lack of confidence and peer pressure can work to simply get laid. "Your friends liked sleeping with me, they're cool, I'm cool, let's do this thing" followed shortly by a trip to get tested.

One of my friends did this to great success in HS and the beginning of college... but then that stopped working, now he's at a loss on how to start or maintain a relationship. Like only having a hammer and drill in your toolbelt and wondering why now that you have to make something smooth, it's so tough.

Easiest way to say what it was all about is that most likely y'all have different expectations of dating and relationships. Pursue one that way, and you'll just wind up another picture/video on a phone, hard drive, cloud, whatever. If that's what you want, I'm not knocking it. Men and women are often guilty of using the same tools and methods to try and achieve different results and blame everyone but themselves.

He's still living in the past when that method worked on confused girls with low self-esteem. Ask yourself a simple question, it simply confused you at the age you are now, though 2-3 years is not a long period of time, honestly, what do you think your reaction would have been at 18 or 19 though? Confusion about his tactic, or confusion that there was something wrong in your approach? It used to work for him, and probably still does sometimes, but with time that tactic will become less and less effective.

Don't worry about him living in the past, live in the present, look forwards to the future, and find someone who doesn't rely on a tactic (especially a poor one) to attract people. Find someone where you just want to spend time with each other and let things flow from there. Reading down someone else said it's using him having the availability of other women to appear attractive. That can work, and be extremely effective. Not how he pulled it off though, that works if you bring a girl who's a friend to wing for you.

Anywho, nothing wrong with you, and it's less confusing if you think of it not as something in the here and now, but someone who is still in their mind living in high school with high school rules doing 16-17 year old high school shit. Which is kind of sad.

SunnySonia · Accepted Answer

He's just trying to open you up for sex. Initially to talk about it and then do it. He's also trying to impress you by telling how much he's in demand for sex and that people do it casually.. not a big deal.. neither for guys nor for gals.

He seems to be an immature guy desperate for sex. If you too want it, it's your choice (although it doesn't feel so). Not a guy for long term. He'll keep you hinting for sex until you do it or leave him. The day he fucks you a couple of time, he'll lose interest in you and will leave you once he gets another option.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

Some men and women friends can discuss sex on a non sexual way where there's no sexual interest in the other person. That doesn't sound like the case here though, He may be doing that to see your reaction.
But best way to know would be to ask him. Only way to know, cuz he's the only one who knows why he's doing that.. Hopefully he's updating with you.

FlutteringFeelings · Accepted Answer

He’s basically hinting to you that he wants to have sex with you. It’s a bait to see if you’ll bite and that’s how he’ll reel you in. A man doesn’t need to use sexual tactics only to make you jealousy he can choose any other method when there’s interest involved. The guy you’re speaking to just was sex.. that’s all.

KloexJayne · Answer

Testing the water to see your reaction so he can make a move. Probably wants to bang and boot

Mofunfour20 · Answer

Thats cringy and i feel embarrassed for him. If you gotta ask for sex YOU HAVE NO GAME

bowenw · Answer

He's trying to pressure you into having sex and trying to convince you it's not a big deal because so many other women do. Red flag.

travelling_bill · Answer

Your 'nice guy' and good 'friend'? Do you really want to know the answer to that question?

Paulychicago10 · Answer

Dudes a tool. He was seeing how you would react to the thought of sex. Hopefully you aren't to deep in the relationship. If not, just end it, because it sounds like all he wants is sex.