I pegged my boyfriend last night for the first time and I realized this morning I don’t see him like a man. anyone go through this?

While I pegged him he asked me to degrade him. Saying things like suck my cock etc. While I was wearing my strap on. This morning I don’t see him the same. I always wanted a dominant male and thought he was this but now I feel like I’m dating a girl. Ugh... anyone go through this?
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • Never have been in that situation. However, it may have less to do with what you both did than the context in which you did it.

    My girlfriend and I have been together over a decade and have three children together. We love each other deeply. When it comes to sex, we have a very raw kind. Not in a BDSM "chains and whips" way, but in a very primal, animal way, with licking and sucking and even a bit of biting and scratching. We are like two animals breeding in a field, and I am, in that context, very much the dominant alpha male and she is very much the submissive female, and I expect her to obey me and serve my needs.

    It is very instinctive and natural, but variety is the spice of life and a few times we have tried it with me in the more submissive role. It was curiosity that had us "change it up." I won't even lie that, while I would not want that all or even most of the time, there was something about being reduced to a mere piece of meat - my naked body there for her use - that was kind of a turn-on. Though, gosh knows, I would not want that all the time.

    However, the difference is that we both wanted to do it. In your case it sounds like he asked you and you agreed - perhaps reluctantly. Your every instinct is to be submissive and obedient - which by the way in evolutionary terms is a very natural instinct and is no reflection on you. My girlfriend and I, as I say, are like that when it comes to sex, but not in every aspect of our lives.

    So you agreed, paradoxically because he is the dominant male and you do what you are told. Then suddenly he is submissive and you are in control and that throws all your instinctive feelings into a cocked hat. Your instincts make you submissive and when suddenly you are in control your instincts are no longer being satisfied and so suddenly you see your boyfriend in a new way.

    He does not make you feel safe and dominated and obedient. He can't give you, at an instinctive level, those feelings you need from sex and from a sexual relationship to a man. So your world is a bit turned upside down.

    There is nothing wrong with what you are feeling. However, feelings are transient and you can't help what you feel but you can help what you do about it.

    Without knowing what the rest of your relationship is like it is hard to give specific advice. All I would say is that, if in other ways you care for each other, then don't give up. Remember that we are more than our instincts and you need to look at the totality of your relationship.

    It is no doubt jarring. Here was the guy who was supposed to dominate you and control you and protect you and - ultimately - impregnate you. Suddenly he is none of that.

    Separate it out. Also, communicate. Your sex life might be hurt but you can work through it. That is, if he is willing to work through it. He may have just been experimenting - as my girlfriend and I were - or it may be what he really is, in which case at the very least you may be - as the saying goes - at a minimum sexually incompatible.

    Only time will tell. Long way around, though. Your feelings are not wrong because rooted in your evolutionary instincts. Depending on how much he means to you in the larger context, though, you can control your feelings and work it through.

    No assurances, to be sure. Happy endings are not guaranteed. Still, unless he means nothing to you, master your feelings and instincts. My girlfriend and I would totally get where you are coming from - we need that instinctive sexual relationship with its total honesty and accepting of each other as our animal selves.

    However, that is not all there is to a relationship. So hang in there. Best of luck.

    • Thank you for taking the time to respond. This made me feel much better. I think I’m going to talk to him about some of my feelings. Thanks again.

    • Hope it helped and best of luck. I will say that you do need to work this out between you. It may be that he is just - at base - instinctively submissive and that may portend bigger issues. On the other hand, if it just a lark and something he enjoys from time to time, well... as I said... variety is the spice of life. Anyhow, best of luck and hope it all works out.

  • Hmmm can’t say that I have experienced what you are, but... sex is just that... sex, you know what I mean? 8 times out of ten, In the bedroom, my girl calls me daddy, I’m the dominant one and she does what I say. And... the other 2 times I want her dominant and sitting on my face making me please her... no pegging for me, not my thing. But she went through the same type of “comfy or not comfy” feelings. When we’re not in the bedroom we are equal in the relationship. Regardless of who’s dominant or not it’s simply a role you play in the moment. This seems like an issue that ultimately is about you. I say that because obviously your boyfriend is comfortable enough to have you peg him (that takes courage I would think)... the question is are you comfortable doing it? If you are then fine, he’s still a man, he simply wants to explore Femdom... and obviously if you’re not comfortable doing this then you have a decision to make. In the end role play is simply that playing different roles, but if one partner ONLY wants to have sex a certain way in a certain role, that can be seen as an identity issue, and further if they refuse to accept other roles that pleases their partner... That’s something different all together. If it were me, I would be concerned about what he/she is doing to please themselves when I’m not around... I hope that makes sense.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

2 9
  • well look like you the dominate one in the bed room and more i guess you should of never had pegged him

  • Dumping time.

  • lmao you reap what you sew

  • I get pegged daily by feminism and the government enforcement of feminism and women don't see me like a man anymore.

  • I see... I thank you for this question: I've always wanted to be pegged, but it'll compromise me! Well, you could ask him his thoughts on his Role as the Male Sex, and if He thinks He's the one to Dominate, or the one to Dominate over... Let me know how it goes, I want to help!

    • Thanks I will.

  • i never had that but wanna try it

  • Men are all so gay. You’re unlikely to find what you’re looking for even if u leave him.

  • He's not to be considered a man.. Men don't get fucked in the butt.. He's either a bitch or gay in denial

  • Time to dump this beta that wants to be fucked and find a real man that wants to fuck you.

  • he's tired..

    • Can you expand on this? What do you mean?

  • You officially converted him into a cuck (sissy) congrats. he will now go on internet and watch sissy cuck porn obsession hypno videos. That is not your man anymore. He will later also want to watch you get fucked by another since he is a cuck/cockold now

    • This was his fantasy, so he was probably doing all of those things already. I don’t sleep with multiple people so he’s not going to watch me doing anything because it’s not my thing. Having said that, did you read the question? Because you didn’t answer at all. If you’re not going to be helpful why answer?

    • I'm telling you how it is. And i didn't answer cos i'm no girl. But i can see why you start to feel this way.