I put an egg up my butt and can't get it out?

Question

My wife and I were browsing the interwebs trying to find interesting ideas to spice up our sex life when she dared me to put an egg up my ass, me being the great gentleman I am, the offer was gladly accepted and now it's stuck in my ass. I feel it moving, putting pressure on the walls of my rectum and my anus is in some serious pain. It's as if I'm humpty dumpty but the wall is my ass. It's been almost 3 hours and I'm getting scared. Whenever I try to use tongs to grab the egg, it moves around. Now I am bleeding slightly and it terrifies me.

TheIceCreamQueen · Accepted Answer

Try to sit on a warm seater (car seat warmers) and in 20-25 min the egg might cook and it'll turn into a boiled egg. After that just squeeze your ass cheeks together like you are twerking until you feel and hear slight cracking sounds (the shell peeling off the boiled Egg) After that just reach in and pull the crumbles of the boiled egg one by one. Don't do it too fast otherwise it'll come out sunny side up.

RuthAnn1781 · Accepted Answer

I'm sure you're fucking here, but I'll try to be helpful just in case. Firstly, how the fuck did you manage to get an egg up your ass without it breaking? Whatever, that doesn't matter. Take a laxative, the egg'll come out when you shit. If you don't wanna do that, go to the doctor, they'll be able to help you more than I can. Good luck

nerdybooklover · Accepted Answer

Go to the doctors! but the blood is normal, e. g if two guys get down on each other and its their first time they'll bleed outta their rectum haha so dont worry about the blood more of the egg that is stuck! ahaha

Anywayysss · Accepted Answer

If you're lucky maybe you can poop it out without breaking it. I mean, chickens do it right? It could be sturdy enough.

SirNewhallian · Accepted Answer

Just squeeze and break the egg 😂 is this real? Don’t ask the internet

Izumiblu · Answer

just wait for it to hatch. you'll be fine

MarianaJ · Answer

Wth did I just read

cupkek · Answer

Use a jar

anmari2001 · Answer

Go to poop

Quickmaths · Answer

Reminds me of the TV show: "Sex sent me to ER."

jammy85 · Answer

Go to hospital. You don't want a raw cracked egg up your butt hole you will get an infection!

And p. s your girlfriend is very lucky to have someone who is willing to put an egg up their ass to better their sex life!!

maleekorionmm · Answer

Lol go and shit on the toilet and hug your legs and wait it will come out eventually don't use one or anything for that matter just lightly push like your dropping a deuce

memyselfandiamhere · Answer

This

sodaflipper · Answer

Jesus Guys stop being so mean to the guy. He was just trying to have fun. I would go to the ER buddy

archiz · Answer

Try pooping

chloehatespeople · Answer

Please go to a hospital. You can get a really bad infection. Make sure you don't sit on your ass. Lay down in the back seat and don't tense up your rectum.