I refuse to give my boyfriend anal sex till he proves his trust to me because he had a couple of gay experiences? Am I in the right?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together two months now. Our relationship is going at a steady pace so far, we always have a good time together, we like the same music, similar games, and tv shows/movies. We also make each other laugh and are comfortable with each others company. It’s our first serious relationship since his abusive ex and my cheating ex in a year. My boyfriend has mentioned he once had a phase where he experimented with a man.. I was shocked because he didn’t look like the type to seem gay or bi curious. He told me it disgusts him now and he doesn’t like talking about it. We have had sex numerous times vaginally, he tells me my pussy is phenomenal and he enjoys it. He was with a woman previously (his ex) for 2 years but she was very abusive mentally and emotionally and she cheated that’s why he left, but he never hurt her. However, the gay experience still twists my mind because I don’t know if I’m gonna have to worry about him changing his mind about me someday. I don’t wanna intrude on him with my insecurities constantly but it’s a fear but I realize trust matters too. He’s mentioned anal sex to me a couple times but I don’t feel comfortable yet after he told me that.. my friend told me it shouldn’t matter and he should love me for me and if I am gonna give him anal he should prove his trust first and foremost. I’m not opposed to anal either, I just worry that it’ll give him thoughts and ideas. What do you think?

[Glyn54]

Anal with a women is not the same thing as anal with a guy.
I really like anal with a woman because, those ladies who have willingly agreed to it have LOVED it and found that they get stronger orgasms than through vaginal sex. Now, maybe this is unusual, but it has been my experience that a woman who has willingly tried it, loves it. I don't normally ask for it. I say that I like it and then I wait for THEM to tell me that they'd like to try it (usually they wan to try it for me). So, if they ASK me to do it then I know that they are invested in trying it and are doing it openly and willingly. All of the women who has asked m for anal sex have loved it and asked for it many times afterwards.

Now, if he wants to do anal and you think you might like it then you should just do it. You should do what you think will make YOU happy. But, if he REALLY wants anal and you DON'T do it then he may leave you fdor a lady who does do it. If he's bisexual or a closet gay then he's probably going to go with a man sooner or later and whether you give him anal or not will have no bearing.

Personally I am not gay and I'm not BI but I am adventurrous and willin gto goive most things a go. I'd be happy, in the right circumstances, to fuck a guy or to have a guy fuck me - as part of a MMF 3-some but guys just don't do it for me. I've never looked at a guy and thought "I want to fuck him" but almost every woman I look at I think that (well almost every woman).

Ultimately though, youm should just do what you both want to do and be done with it and if he leaves you for another man then nothing you could havee done would have prevented it as it's a totally different experience.

[Asker]

I get what you’re saying but if sex is all someone is in a relationship for then they need to be single and find themselves honestly. They don’t need to waste somebody’s time acting immature or lying. What happened to common value these days and emotional connection? Not everything in the relationship should revolve around sex. This generation has completely lost it I swear.

[madhatters4]

his past relationships should have not bearing on your willingness to have anal sex

if you trust him as an sex partner AND are interested in anal sex then you should go for it. those should be the parameters

[madhatters4]

thanks for MHO

[Alli39]

Hun if he's going to change his mind about you one day, it won't be because you guys had sex in a specific fashion. If you don't want to do something out of personal preference then don't do it, but if you're holding back because you're worried about his mindset, then that's a different thing. He's with you. He chose you. Anal isn't going to give him ideas and more than alcohol gives people ideas. If he's having the idea, it was already there. I'd say talk to him about it but it sounds like he's already been quite vocal about his attraction to you and his general preference for women. You're getting in your own way here.

[Becca2001]

what in the world are you even talking about? Him wanting anal sex with YOU a girl means he might be gay because guys have assholes too? Do you think he might be gay when he kisses YOU a girl as well cause guys have mouths as well? What about holding hands cause guys also *gasp* have hands ya know

[RespectfulGuy]

It's you and him in a new relationship. Much like you won't want to bring up you past, you should not bring up his past.

The rest is your boundaries. You allowing anal or not should be based on your desire, not his past.

PS: if he's still interested in guys, then that's a red flag. Otherwise that's his past.

[RespectfulGuy]

Update 2 What you wrote is true except the time factor is not considered. Indeed, guys can be VERY shallow. And as a guy, I regret to say, sex is always our priority when we enter a relationship. Regrettably, to us, girls doesn't feel the same way, in the beginning. But when the initial desire is fulfilled, guys matured and become more responsible and compassionate. Perhaps this is why many girls are attracted to older men. And interestingly, mature women enjoy sex a lot more than their younger days. Thus I observe, and in wonder if you agree when looking at age of both genders from 20 to 50.

[purplepoppy]

Lots of men experiment with gay sex but never admit it. If anything you should be flattered he felt able to confess to you.

Now go lube up and bite that pillow.

[Samantha36]

Yes definitely. I'd do the same

[empathylove]

Yes, prevention is better than cure.

[Billlewis]

I love it when a beautiful woman flashes her butt in public, and drives every guy nearby crazy... lol

[MementoMori777]

Whatever you gotta do until you are comfortable I guess

[AviatorTom]

Refusing your partner anything is wrong. It's controlling, and good relationships are based on trust, not control.

[stratford]

His sexuality and history in that regard shouldn't matter. If you're both consenting, and both like the idea of trying anal together - go for it and have some fun!

[Alex-Snow]

It is your body and certainly your choice. I'd wait for a while. Has he been tested for any STDs?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I wouldn't trust him at all. I'm not trying to ruin your relationship but a man that takes it up the 🍑 or screw another man up the 🍑 can never come back from that in my opinion.

[jahaims]

Lmfao

[peterrezeeek]

Trust me he is a gay... yes gay..
its impossible for straight man to do anything sexual with an another guy..
so just run away

[balyai]

It's your body so your decision

[Jmmmfi4]

He probably has aids

[Anonymous]

first his gay experience doesn't necessarily had to be anal sex, maybe blowjob or handjob only, lots of people get curious and experience, second even if it was anal, I'm sure he is aware that your ass isn't a guy's ass, so he is fucking a girl, how can that be gay? I think it's a silly reason to not do it, if the reason was because anal isn't your thing, I'd totally understand.

[Asker]

He told me specifically it was anal before so it is scary and nerve wrecking knowing that in some way.. I’ve never done anal tbh beside a guy barley putting it in for a minute but the pain was intense. I just don’t wanna feel rushed in general because I feel like that’s getting more vulnerable and I’d rather take time.

[Opinion Owner]

like I said, if you are not comfortable with anal, you should tell him that, and he should understand, but if he asked why, don't tell him your reason because it will offend and hurt him, just tell him that you find it very painful and not pleasurable to you, he should understand that.

[Anonymous]

Does he watch any porn? Usually this sort of behavior comes through that.

[Anonymous]

ı love anal sex with girls too. But if your boyfriend has experience gay sex you are on the right way ı think.