Sexual Relationships
1 y

I regret sexting (without nudes) for the first time with this acquaintance of mine. I also feel like I might be a lesbian because of it?



For context, I’ve never dated nor felt any sort of substantial attraction to a guy in my life (to the point where I thought I was asexual or lesbian).

I was very attracted to this guy’s mind, I found him to be very intelligent and confident. The added coincidence that we knew someone in common heightened my crush (?) on him.

We were chatting, and I was very attracted to the image of what I thought he was like in me head. We also had a good connection. I felt giddy and nervous while talking to him, I even dreamt about him (all of this has never happened before) and fantasized of ourselves as a perfect couple.

A couple weeks later, we made sex jokes (initiated by me) and lightly sexted (continued by him). But then he did/said something and I found him to be very immature and insecure, and it turned me off a lot.

I now regret sexting him. I also feel embarrassed that I sort of “jumped to conclusions” about what I thought his personality was like and made it sort of obvious to him that I’d suddenly been repulsed by him.

I tried to fix things the next day and smooth things over by asking personal questions. But he tried to make it sexual again, I think as a “last ditched effort” to milk something out of me, given that I was no longer romantically attracted to him.

I then kind of was passively aggressively trying to tell him I found his immaturity a turn off.

I then backtracked and pretended like I wasn’t suddenly turned off by him because I felt bad and rude. I told myself “hey, nobody’s perfect, let me give him a chance”. I kind of “forced” myself to be attracted to him again, if that makes sense.

I just overall feel repulsed at having sexted him, almost like I was assaulted even if I wasn’t completely unwilling (I know, it sounds ridiculous).

Does this normally happen?

Is there a possibility that I’m not straight? I feel like I have truly ridiculous standards, and when a guy doesn’t meet them/breaks the illusion, I feel immediate revulsion.
0 1

AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

  • No it does not really, one bad experience does not really point anywhere at all.

    Sexting is a really crap place at times and can easily lead to misunderstanding, where in real life it does not happen.

    I recently royally fucked up with someone, I did something that went against my normal values (I would like to say external stress etc played a part which they did but I was basically stupid).

    What you sort of describe in the initial bit is Demisexuality.

    This can make getting a boyfriend or girlfriend really hard for those with a high level of it, you need to be friends first, have an emotional connection. It can really mess up a persons thoughts on sexuality, as it’s the emotional side we latch on to and not really the physical.

    This makes online stuff a bit of a danger ground for Demi’s as it’s 100% emotion, thinking and mental appearance.

    personally, the only way to find out your sexuality is in the real world, by interacting with people, various people and ideally not just friends.

    my personal view on sexuality etc is that it’s a clear glass tube filled with liquid, it’s always 100% full, however the colour of the liquid changes on what % of something a person is.
    Normal person would be say 70% green for physical and 30% Blue for emotional.
    a demisexual would be anyone with say from 50% upwards

    I would really concentrate in the real world and of you do meet someone you click with try and avoid sexting with them, as it does sound like you are over that 50% line.

    also because of the higher level of emotional stuff, the feedback can really mess our minds up more.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think this makes you asexual or lesbian. It's just that you want someone in your life who doesn't only want you for sex but actually be with you in everything. He needs to be smart, caring and not prioritizing sex in the first place.

    You just though that he was the one and got too excited and initiated things probably because you haven't felt this way before and there is nothing wrong with this. You should neither be regretful nor think you don't like guys anymore given you had very little experience with them.

    I'm sure when you find the one, you will be so happy. It's just hard but not impossable so don't prevent yourself from getting to know new guys that come to you as good candidates to be your life partner.

Most Helpful Girl

  • The sexual orientation question is one for you to figure out. There is a possibility that you are not straight. No one can answer that but you. As far as the sexting, I’m totally on your side on this one. You sound like you are intellectual and enjoy good conversation. He ruined by wanting to sext, which I find immature by definition. I get nothing out of it, much like you. It is a huge turn off and very awkward.

    • Thank you for mhg 😘❤️

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 7

  • Just sounds like u have high standards that people can't live upto or perfect wouldn't say you are gay as u have not stated if u are attracted to women just that u find it hard for men also clearly u are not into setting so in the future simply don't do it unless u learn to be comftble with it

  • I think this is a classic example of over thinking a situation, and yes, this does happen. Once you start sexting a guy, its hard for them to stop. You just need to remember this for the future and not be so quick to sext with the next guy you date. I think you're strait, and stop beating yourself up for this.

    • Hi, thanks. Have you felt this way towards a girl you dated? I feel dirty, and like I lost my “spiritual virginity” to someone I didn’t find attractive, if that makes sense.

    • Yes I have and more than once. At least you didn't use your real virginity, right? Imagine how you would feel if that had happened.

  • Sexual identities are seldom cut and dried there's a lot of overlap and women are more flexible than men. Don't be afraid to experiment and don't fret about labels. You may well have high standards and I think you'll find that your friend's maturity was a bit of a mask and he was just an ordinary guy underneath. We all put our best foot forward and we are all a bit goofy underneath. Don't fall for the mask. Actively look for the goofy. You will come to prefer the goofy to the mask. It's the real deal. Good luck with Ms or Mr Right. And don't be worried about letting your own goofy side run wild every now and then.

  • No it doesn't mean your a lesbian, like you said you were attracted to him but than he turned you off and he didn't really respond to that. Not sure what he did but hopefully there's room for improvement

  • U always have a second chance.. u can send me some

  • lesbian would be a choice you have to make

  • It's not unusual. I know the feeling. You sound like a sapiosexual. But I'm curious what exactly he said that turned you off so much

  • Girls are so confusing and boring!

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > I regret sexting (without nudes) for the first time with this acquaintance of mine. I also feel like I might be a lesbian because of it?