Sexual Relationships
+1 y

I shared nudes and they got leaked. How do I cope?

I'll skip all the unnecessary info, but I was stressed, got into trouble, needed money and tried to sell nudes to a guy online. He asked for examples, so I sent them, but then said I wouldn't send anything else until he paid. He shared my nudes with a friend of mine, threatened to release them online if I didn't send more. I contacted the police, they are looking for him. This happened last winter, but everytime someone calls my parents, I get scared that they saw them and want to tell my mom/dad. I am an adult, but who wants their parents to know their personal business? Any tips for coping?
Trolls, please just go the f away.
Updates:
+1 y
For those who won't stop asking, my dad abused my mom. She finally decided it was time to leave, as all her children were now grown. She asked me to help support her financially, but I only make $600 a month. I panicked as I didn't know how to else to make money. A friend of mine had posted a photo of me on one of those "am I pretty" things and I got the idea to sell nudes to some guy who liked how I looked. In the panic of it all, I wasn't thinking straight. Totally never gonna do it again.
0 2

AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

  • Welcome to being admitted into The School of Hard Knocks.

    How do you cope?

    By realizing hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of other young women who made the same mistake you have, but lived down any bullshit because of it and are now living nice normal lives albeit being wiser about life and human nature and not being an ignorant young woman sending nudes. Remember: Kim Kardashian is famous only BECAUSE her sex tape was leaked and went viral.

    Anyway, the purpose of failure is to learn from it.
    I'd like to think that the lesson that you have learned is to not send nudes to ANYONE, not even your husband. Any male who requests nudes is an immature manchild. A real man won't do that because he respects women and is classy about it.

    My boss in 2001 told me this - an excellent adage to remember in this day and age:

    >>> If you don't want it to appear on the cover of The New York Times tomorrow morning, don't send it on the web.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You sound very remorseful about your decision to send nudes via the internet. But you should have realized once they are on the internet you have no control over what happens to them.

    Moral of the story, don't post anything on the internet you might be ashamed to have your parents find out about. That may be the best lesson from the terrible decision you made.

    In this case the bad guy shared them with friends of yours. That indicates you have have known who he was. That may have provided some comfort to you, but by now you have learned an important life lesson. So sorry it happened to you, your writing is well done which implies you normally have a brain and know how to use it. The big question now is making sure you find a way to deal with the stress you were under that instigated the decision to begin with. Please take care of that problem before another bad decision is made.

Most Helpful Girls

  • deep breath-just relax, the panic you fell is your inner voice knowing you did something you shouldn't have. you are human and make mistakes in life not one of us is perfect. stop being so hard on yourself, its ok to make mistakes. you could always fall back on an excuse like oh your phone was stolen and they were on there if someone finds out. but never send nudes to anyone again, you are worth far more then that. just tell yourself lesson learned. take one day at a time. cope daily by telling yourself its ok to make mistakes you are not the only one who has ever done that and unfort someone took advantage of it. its all going to be fine

    • feel***

  • I’m very sorry to hear of your issue. I won’t sit here and lecture because I genuinely feel bad. There is not much you can do but talk to a trusted support figure. Maybe a best friend?

    It sounds like you have done everything you can do and it is in the hands of the police. If there is anything I can help with or if you need someone to talk to, I am always available. I also can link you to many other girls who will listen.

    @loves2learn @audreyv92 @secretsofkb @jennbitx those are a few.

    • have a like friend ;)

    • @Still-alive holy! Wait, that was like instant! How did you do that lmao?

    • I am always available to talk to

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

7 30

  • I doubt he will threaten you again but make sure you dont sell nudes to people you know.
    I doubt he will contact your family, and even if they did its not their business.
    He was probably just trying to get free content from you.

  • Do the nudes have your face? I am sorry this happened. I think this was an important learning experience. You can’t worry every time the phone rings. I recommend making peace with this and just moving on with your life.

    • @asker this is a good person to listen. We don’t call you mum for nothing ❤️

    • Ohh... Dint know about this @loves2learn

    • @whatsthereinname yes. She is very knowledgeable and helpful and sweet. Trust her with anything!

    • Show All

  • I will skip the lecture and just say you will just have to live with it.

    It's not that big of a deal, its only a body and most people have seen nudes before and won't care.

  • I wouldn't try sending nudes online, but try thinking of something else. You said he didn't post them online but just showed your friend; even if he did, there's a lot of nudes online and especially if you don't have your face in them, the likelihood that your family finds them is like 1 out of a billion.

  • Hahahahahahahahhaa the internet isn’t your husband. Wake up call! Dumbass. Good luck with all that. Maybe next time you’ll keep your damn clothes on.

  • Hopefully you are at least 18 if not it was very illegal. Not much you can do now. Never have your face in any nude pics.

  • Its not that big of a deal.

    My girlfriend has videos of her having sex With different guys online. And nude pictures of her self

    I've had my friends show me the videos of her and she told me the truth when i asked about them.
    When we first started dating.

    And its never ben an issue for me, or her.
    In wouldn't be ashamed of it.

    Just ignore it and go about your life like normal.
    If someone asks like a guy your talking to. Or somthing just be honest and itl all work out.

  • You’re just going to have to deal with it honestly everything on the internet is forever your nudes are out there and that’s that. I would recommend not sharing nudes online unless you’re fine with them being seen by anybody

  • Glad you called the police as this is absolute BS and that dude needs to go to jail.
    Tell your parents. They may not like it, but that takes away any power that he has over you.

  • :( I hope that guy dies very painfully. That's why your face shouldn't be in nudes (I hope they weren't).
    I guess if it comes up just make up a story that you were sharing nudes with a friend but one of you got hacked by this online asshole.

  • I’m sorry this happened. It is difficult to make ends meet and it can be tempting for a woman to pose nude when financially desperate. Just try to remember that there are tons of women whose nude photos are on the internet, so you are not alone. Is it embarrassing? Surely. Is it the sort of thing that people will move past and learn to overlook? Probably, because it is happening to so many people that it will not be unusual.

  • Hopefully you learned a good lesson. Don't send naked pics of yourself to ANYONE. For ANY reason.
    Just move on with your life - forget it. Nothing is going to happen, and no one cares.

    • On update... You keep making excuses. Quit doing that, quit claiming to be a victim, and OWN IT.

  • Where do you live? I think it's easy to track someone online by authorities these days... It started in winter and no clue yet? Such a long time

  • First of all, I am sorry that you have to go through this. I know it is not easy to calm down. But, please calm down. The cop is doing his work. Your parents know how much you are stressed and they understand that. What you can do right now probably go for therapy because torture can cause depression as well. These things happen everyday. It is not a big deal. People will talk today but they will forget tomorrow. Everyone is preoccupied with themselves. You're a victim here. You can file a case on them for both sharing personal information and sextortion. If someone asks, tell them because the more you hide it. The more these people will take advantage over you. You can't live in fear. It'll take time but I promise people won't be bothered about it.

    • Hey, if you need to talk I'm all ears.

    • Also, it's better you tell your parents. They might smack you but they will support you.

  • You made a decision to send nudes with no payment in return. Please, never be so hard up that you feel you have to sell nude pictures of yourself. I men want nudes, there are millions of them online.

    So your question is, how do you cope? You started by contacting the police but I am afraid that you willingly shared those photos. You stated that you're an adult, so that doesn't work in your favor.

    The only advice I can give you is to let this go. If you're parents find out, then be honest with them. You needed the money and didn't think the repercussions through entirely.

  • Learn from your mistakes, don't do it again. You'll have to bear through this I'm afraid.

  • "revenge porn" is a crime just about everywhere. Look up your state's law and tell him all about it if he contacts you again. In theory, your picture could somehow show up on reddit or imagefap or somewhere, but it would be one or two pics among 100s of billions, including pics of your favorite respectable actresses. Relax. It's the 21st century. People would understand.

  • Just don't give a fuck about it

  • Hey there... What has happened indeed cannot be changed

    You need to come out of the stress

    Moreover in case you can pass on the message to the guy (through your friend) just pass it on that the police is already involved and if you find anything leaked online, they will trace the source immediately

    Also since it's already been long, I think the guy is equally afraid to be traced down by police and most likely won't leak

    So for now, come out of it and focus on your life ahead

    If you've good friends, talk to them when you're over stressed

    Take care

  • Unless you were under 18 at the time, than their isn't much you can do about this unless the police find him. Stop freaking out, and just learn from it.

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