Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I have 2 really close friends and for whatever reason, I just can't bring myself to finally admit that I went all the way with my boyfriend.
We had sex for the first time 3 months ago, but I'm still having a hard time admitting to myself that that happened, I somehow feel unclean.
I grew up in a cult that banned premarital sex, he respected my wishes, but at some point, I just wanted to do it and I like sex.
Still, it's so uncomfortable for me to admit to others that I had sex... Although it's not a big deal.
I've told them that he's gone down on me, that I love performing oral sex on him, and that we've basically done everything BUT vaginal penetration - why am I having such a hard time admitting it? I really want to be as free as I feel, but something is holding me back.
What Girls & Guys Said
22 49Then don't tell them then. Your friends don't have to know. They will be ok either way.
You're ashamed. Plain and simple. Why else refer to feeling "unclean"?
And you're not telling your friends as you don't want them to be ashamed of you. Plain & simple.
Your friends aren't going to trust you. My so called bestfriend never told me and I had to find out from people who literally hated her. they were all gossiping about it and I relentlessly defended her and it was such a betrayal because I. told her everything
You don't need to tell anyone.
I had sex with my now exgf lots of times. She is Christian and didn't want others to know. So I respected that. Also I didn't go talking about it. I don't think of many ocasions when someone might talk about that to be honest.
I'd like to get their advice on certain stuff and it would be fun to talk about some of our sex fails. My boyfriend wanted to ask his cousin for advice, I said that he shouldn't and he respected that... His cousin is a player who has whored around for years on end but I honestly don't think he's that good in bed, he just has charisma!
I see, then if you know what your decision implies and you want to talk about it with them, then do it. But if you feel uncomfortabke about it, there's sound advice on sex on the internet (but only read experts). But also sexologists can help if you want to have privacy on that topic and receive expert personalized advice. Do what you feel works best for you.
That's certainly true, thanks!
If you feel guilty or unclean it means you were not fully ready to lose your virginity, you should have waited until ready or marriage. I was not raised in a cult for say but I believe in waiting until ready and if that is until marriage that is always okay too.
you were just brainwashed get over it nothing abnormal in having sex actually should be really pleasurable
Well you don't have to tell them. Best friends or not, it's not any of their business. Lots of people do share that with close friends, but there's nothing saying you "have to" ever.
That's definitely true! I just wanted to ask them for specific advice lol :)
Keep ya mouth SHUT! Nobody needs to know shit except U, him and god/Jesus, end of story! Hush your mouth 👄 don't even tell us.
You feel guilty and your mind condemning you that's the reason for not telling them.