I think I’m getting attached to my friends with benefits?

[Anonymous]

I’ve only seen him a few times but we do have good sex apart from that though we get along really well. He told me he doesn’t want a relationship though but I haven’t like really enjoyed spending time with a guy the way I do him. He messages me sometimes but he can take a while to respond. Shall I stop getting with him if this is the case. I keep thinking about him recently since I haven’t seen him in 2 weeks due to being busy

[Dargil]

I was in one. Its worth a long version. I'll try to be specific about your post. While I was in the Academy. I did not have the time, treasure or desire for a "dating" relationship. I sort of fell into an authentic "Friends With Benefits". She was in one of my classes and had a busy schedule like mine that precluded dating.

*A Friends with Benefits is first a friendship like any other. Most friendships have a common interest, which here, was relaxed, safe sexual intimacy. Refuge comes to mind.
*It was NOT casual sex, hooking up or a "booty call". It was not feelings-free.
*It was exclusive. We were in one because we did not want "dating" relationships.
*It was voluntary, subject only to the same basic rules of respect and consideration that any friendship receives.
*There were no "dating protocols" ("Why didn't you text me back?") or fixed schedules. A simple text or call: "Do you have time for sex?" could come from either one at any time.
*It was non-public. Her place or mine, take out Chinese/Pizza and some adult beverage. We did not "go out". I did go to where she worked just to look at her but we did not interact. She just knew the text was coming.
*The sexual intimacy was unrestrained. Maybe even better than dating, because that's why we were there. Beyond cleanliness, there were no conditions.
*Exchanging pleasure was the central focus. It was understood that we could propose something sexual and declining was not a rejection, just free choice.
*We could talk about anything but "exes" and "our relationship".
*It was by no means without feelings. There was fondness. You just can't call it love. Looking back, it was more than love. Peace in a hectic world.
*We were not using each other. We found refuge in our private times together.
*A "friends with benefits" is low tension, casual comfort. What marriages should be.

"He messages me sometimes but he can take a while to respond."
*Remember. Free choice. No dating rules or protocols.
"Shall I stop getting with him if this is the case.
*No. It is going well!!
"I keep thinking about him recently since I haven’t seen him in 2 weeks due to being busy"
*That's how "friends with benefits" works. Being busy = stressed out = needs refuge. That is what a "friends with benefits" is. Don't mess it up by closing in on him. And remember, either one can ask.

[Zebadee88]

Friends with benefits is just plain stupid in my opinion.

[Asker]

Why’s that