I think this girl is trying to say I raped her? What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Apparently she was really drunk when we slept together and she doesn’t remember how it started. She thinks I had sex with her while she was sleeping. But she wasn’t sleep! She pulled her pants off when I laid next to her! Yeah I admit I shouldn’t have been in her bedroom, but she started it! Plus hours before, she flirted with me and touched me sexually. I was shocked she did that too because she normally turns me down or is very mean to me. We were playing Drunkopoly with other people and she said she never drinks, but I didn’t rape her. She told our mutual friend that she woke up to me having sex with her And when I said well you didn’t stop me while we were having sex, she said she was still drunk when she “woke up”. She blocked my number.

what should I do to protect myself? I’m not the type of guy that she’s making me look like. Who knows who else she’s telling this bull shit to

[OlderAndWiser]

"Apparently she was really drunk when we slept together" So you know she was drunk and you admit that you had sex with her.

"and she doesn’t remember how it started." That's how it is when you have sex with someone who is drunk.

"She thinks I had sex with her while she was sleeping. But she wasn’t sleep!" That doesn't matter.

"She pulled her pants off when I laid next to her!" Did she say "stick it in me, big boy!'?

"Yeah I admit I shouldn’t have been in her bedroom," So there was no invitation to come in and have sex, and you were guilty of trespassing.

"but she started it!" No one will ever believe you.

"Plus hours before, she flirted with me and touched me sexually." Flirting doesn't mean "come fuck me when I'm drunk." How did she touch you sexually? Any witnesses?

"I was shocked she did that too because she normally turns me down or is very mean to me." One more reason why no one else will believe you.

"We were playing Drunkopoly with other people" So you were trying to get her drunk.

"and she said she never drinks," so you knew that she was more likely to be substantially impaired.

"but I didn’t rape her." That is your clam.

"She told our mutual friend that she woke up to me having sex with her" Very common scenario.

"And when I said well you didn’t stop me while we were having sex," If that is your best defense, you may get 3-5 years in prison.

"she said she was still drunk when she 'woke up.'" Probably was.

"She blocked my number." No doubt!

"what should I do to protect myself?" You should go consult a criminal defense attorney.

"I’m not the type of guy that she’s making me look like." You are the kind of guy who trespassed into the bedroom of a woman who you know was drunk and you started having sex with her while she was sleeping. No one will believe any differently.

"Who knows who else she’s telling this bull shit to?" Probably the police.

[integrale77]

I'd say it's a difficult one to call my ex-wife would black out when drunk and an evening would pass and she would have no memory of it, however people would have interactions with her and you wouldn't think any more than she is just having fun and slurring her words because of the drink.

If it is to go to court a jury will hear you where both drunk and both playing drinking games.
You where not to know her tollerence/reaction to alcohol beyond the fact she doesn't drink much.
She was flirty and crossing boundaries in your personal space but made no indication of interest in you prior to the incident.
You took a chance based on earlier activities entering her room and her reaction was to take off her underwear while seemingly aware of your presence.

It is all very 50/50 in my eyes all open to individual interpretation I'd say she is right in her mind to be angry at you because she feels taken advantage of but on your side you where aware of and saw no indications things where going so bad.

You might think about seeking legal counsel possibly speaking to the police to get your side across first which might just swing things in your favour but whatever happens its liable to have a negative impact on some people's opinion of you.

[jazzyanswers]

Okay, if she was drunk then you shouldn't have had sex with her. This is the consequence. I don't believe you raped her though. Maybe try to talk to her about it. If she won't talk then write a letter explaining yourself and apoligizing. Even if you don't think you did anything wrong.

[startingfitness]

he was drunk too. not his fault. Stupid girls need to learn the consequences , not him.

[jazzyanswers]

@startingfitness that is not true at all. okay, i have been raped before and i know what it is like. I feel bad for her. But also I had a friend who was dating a girl and had sex with her. When he was going to break up with her she said he raped her but i knew it wasn't true cause i was in the room when she came in to have sex with him. So i feel bad for him but don't go saying it is all her fault.

[startingfitness]

it is her fault. She came onto him and decided to have sex. It doesn't matter that she was drunk. A person has no responsibility for another persons action. If someone drunk drives and crashes into my car, that's not my fault, just because the driver is a woman. So he can't be responsible , for what SHE did. If they had sex, there is no reason he should suffer for it, it was her choice. there was no r***

[jazzyanswers]

@startingfitness i agree. i am not saying he is to fault but i understand why she might have felt that. He should not be said he raped her when he didn't. I agree. i also understand he was drunk too. but you don't have to be soo heartless for the girl. I feel for both of them is what i am saying.

[startingfitness]

Im not being heartless to the girl. What is heartless is to accuse a guy of something which can have him go to jail and ruin his life, when she should have known they were both playing a drinking game and were drunk. And then when something like this happens, they always blame us men. Everyone will care about the girl, and talk about her whether she was raped or not but when an innocent man goes to jail, everyone forgets about him. So i will defend men on this issue

[jazzyanswers]

@startingfitness i respect that. no guy should go to jail for something they shouldn't do. I know a boy that was sent to a boys training school for three years framed for something he didn't do. If he did't rape her which i beleive then he doesn't need to go to jail. I am just trying to give him advice to convince her to calm down.

[startingfitness]

You told him that he shouldn't have had sex with her. That isn't helpful and you are making him look bad. And then you said at the end that he should apologize. Never. Apologizing is admitting that the allegations are true. You gave horrible advice in your first comment. He should talk to her and tell her what really happened. And he should tell the story to his friends as well. That is how he should defend himself.

[jazzyanswers]

@startingfitness okay. I think you are just choosing to take a mans side over a womans. He did have sex with a woman who was drunk and who had never wanted anything to do with him in the first place. So he did do one thing wrong.

[startingfitness]

of course i take the mans side, because the mans side is logical. the woman's side is illogical and just spiteful. No rational person would take the woman's side. Who says she didn't want to have sex with him? She is the one who wanted to have sex with him. She initiated it! what part of this question do you not understand? read the question again.

[jazzyanswers]

@startingfitness i understand it just fine. Just don't have sex when you are drunk period.

[startingfitness]

well, tell that to the ladies too. they seem to be making a bigger deal out of it than men.

[jazzyanswers]

@startingfitness your right. she never should of had sex while drunk it was stupid.

[startingfitness]

no worries. These topics just makes me angry because it reminds me of how unfair certain things are for men, but i don't see anyone speaking up on it. So i feel like i should.

[nerdybutlazy]

If she normally wouldn't do that, she was drinking the whole time well she was flirting then you did rape her, she was drunk unless you were too you don't have much a defence for a case

[triff]

To be honest whether she was used to going off with guys or not doesn't matter She wasn't in a fit state to prevent it

[nerdybutlazy]

@triff Oh yah I definitely agree, I was just saying. I hope the dude knows a lawyer

[triff]

I agree Not much a lawyer can do Its pretty open and a shut case

[Quackthulu]

You did rape her. And you shouldn't need me to explain that to you.

[startingfitness]

he did not. Its called sex

[Agape93]

Rape isn’t sex.

[Quackthulu]

@startingfitness sex requests content dumbass.

[Agape93]

I love how he had my comment calling him a rapist hidden Rapists don’t understand that.

[Quackthulu]

@Agape93 clearly. At least 5 other dumbasses on here don't fucking understand what content means either. Pieces of shit like this are why I cary, and never fucking drink.

[Agape93]

Exactly. One dude, before I removed his comment, told me that the drunk bitch fucked him and now regrets it, that she deserved it. Fuck that rape apologist bullshit.

[startingfitness]

I guess i shouldn't be mad at the person who writes content instead of consent. Low iq people can't be helped.

[Agape93]

Griping on her for a typo? Ok cool. You forgot to capitalize your “I”.

[Quackthulu]

@startingfitness I’ll take a typo over a rapist any day of the week dumbass.

[Agape93]

Exactly. I would to, infinitely so.

[triff]

The Lady who said you shouldn't have sex with her drunk is I'm afraid quite correct How old is she The Law States that a person who is impaired by Mental Health Drugs or Alcohol CAN NOT GIVE CONSENT for any Sexual Activity If such an act occurs Then the Victim may report this as a Sexual Assault or if Sexual Intercourse took place Then the charge would be Rape I feel you should have a consultation with a lawyer be on the safe side or at least be very apologetic and find out where she stands on the matter

[startingfitness]

so him being drunk doesn't matter?

[triff]

Well according to yourself what you have done Still getting hard shows you can't have been paralytic drunk

[startingfitness]

nah thats not an excuse. You can get hard even if you are blacked out.

[startingfitness]

And she was clearly smart enough to inititate sex with him. What about that? Dont be a simp.

[triff]

She was drunk so its inamisable

[startingfitness]

* he and she were drunk so its not an issue and she ( and you ) should stop blaming the man and let it go

[triff]

Its not me accusing him I have stayed impartial Only offered advice and answered the situation he was in

[startingfitness]

no, you were biased very much towards the girl. If you were impartial, you would have told that he is not at fault and you definitely would not have told him to be apologetic ( as that would be an admission of guilt) he should consult a lawyer but he should stick strongly to his side of things and what happened to get cleared.

[Ekvark]

This is why you don't use alcohol as a way to get laid.

[Bandit74]

Get a lawyer.

[SweetDisaster]

Your stupid, dumb for sleeping with a slut who was drunk period. You where both drunk but you seem to be less sense you remember everything and she don't. The shows you the you could had kick her out of your room but naked. The would had prevent you from all this trouble. ╰(‘ω’ )╯三

[startingfitness]

its all his fault, him being drunk doesn't matter. You girls don't deserve to go out then. stay in the kitchen. You can't have it both ways, chose one or the other. either girls are responsible for themselves and shut up or stay in the kitchen.

[Browneye57]

Bro-code... NEVER stick your dick in BSC. EVER

[R3DthatDude]

As much as women need to protect themselves, guys also need to protect themselves from frauds. All you can do for next time is don’t get with a drunk woman or any woman that’s had a drink at all. I would just not mess with anyone that’s not my girlfriend.

[pleasestopthis]

This is why you don't fuck a girl who's dead drunk

[startingfitness]

her fault

[douride2]

You had sex with her when she was that drunk. Sorry to be the barer of bad news but your in deep trouble.

[MarryMeLoba]

When a girl get drunk with you, the idea of having sex is always nearby

[startingfitness]

You did nothing wrong. Unfortunately there are r**arded feminazis who will try to ruin your rep for this. So , make sure to let everyone at the party and all your friends know what happened so you have backup , before she changes the story to her liking: DO this ASAP

[startingfitness]

to the unknown memer, AKA unknown beta simp who blocked me, If two drunk drivers crash into each other , who's fault is it? Answer that and prove that you aren't some edgy kid pretending to be 37

[joeldalton]

You'd better lawyer up. Get affidavits from anyone at the party that can confirm she was flirting with you.

[Twalli]

Technically she can't consent while drunk. I don't think you took advantage of her and raped her maliciously. Nevertheless I can understand if she feels like it was rape. If it becomes a legal matter I don't know how it would turn out.

[KrakenAttackin]

Do not admit to anything.

[Dave31989]

hard to prove rape, because it's hard to prove intent

[JessieBellll]

You see, you need to be much more careful with girls. Sex is guys biggest karma.

Update us on how it goes

[startingfitness]

but girls dont need to be careful. very good advice, go show the guys that girls are on the same intelligence level as dogs.

[admles]

Well, the law states that a person who is drunk is unable to give consent, so by the law, yes it is rape.

[startingfitness]

him being drunk doesn't matter? women cannot make decisions? are only men able of intelligent thought? are you sexist?

[The_unknown_memer]

You raped her , sorry but you gonna have to turn yourself in , don't make this worse for yourself

[startingfitness]

SIMP

[The_unknown_memer]

@startingfitness ah another rapist how cute? If you think standing against rape is a simple job Then you got problems

[startingfitness]

You are another idiot who doesn't understand the difference between sex and rape. Go back to school

[The_unknown_memer]

Just pick the dictionary and learn it yourself bitch

[Wolkmi]

Say that you were drunk and intoxicated too, defend yourself, explain that it was consent. Is not exactly ilegal have sex with a drunk woman, not even if you're sober, only in campus have stricted laws about that

[Wolkmi]

there are different levels of drunkness

[Delilah101]

Dude just say she gave you her concern since she says she doesn't remember.
And then apologize and pretend to like her till it dies down. Or say say it's both your faults since you were both drunk.