Sexual Relationships
1 mo

I've never been able to orgasm during sex?

So I'm 24, I lost my virginity when I was 16 but I was masturbating long before that. I've always been able to get myself off just fine, but with another person I've never been able to!

I've had a few sexual partners and I still enjoy sex and it feels good, I get turned on etc. I just can't let myself go with someone else. Even if I 'rub' myself whilst in the act, I'll get nowhere near orgasm.

My ex used to say that I apply too much pressure when I stimulate my clit (as if he knew my body better than me 🙄), I've considered that maybe that's the case, but I'm not sure.

Girls, have any of you been in a similar position and managed to overcome it? Any advice you could offer me?

0 0

AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

  • This is actually not all that uncommon. So, for woman to orgasm with a man, she has to feel 100% comfortable about it. So honestly, it's all on you if want to and can't. Its mental block, my ex-wife had it to. We got married when we were 20, but she never orgasmed until we were 26. She just felt too self-conscious about orgasming in front of a man. But when she did, she went into muscle contractions, and yeah, she was a squirter.

    So do not focus so much on your partner during sex, focus on yourself and your own true desires. Relax your muscles and focus on the sensation. Make sure you have a partner you are truly attracted to and not self-conscious with.

    Men muscles tense up and as they get closer to orgasm, womans sometimes feel the need to match that intensity, which them makes them to focused on the man and not themselves. It is a common mental block for woman, but one that can be easily overcome with practice, and dedication. But you first have to be willing to let tit to happen.

    Think of your orgasm as something you truly want to share with our partner. and let it happen. No man I have ever talked has ever voiced any complaint about a woman orgasm. I mean I have been with some real wild cats, and honestly, I am jealous of woman. I wish I could experience physical please on that level. There is nothing that boosts a man's ego, or sexual experience on emotional or physical level more than his woman sharing her orgasming with him.

Most Helpful Guy

  • well you can cum. you did learn to cum by yourself. it can't be taken for granted that you automatically also know how to cum with a partner. and masturbation can absolutely hinder you in that. men can masturbate with a titan grip to such an extend that a vagina can not please them anymore.

    and from what you've told, i can not tell if the reason for you not being able to cum is phyical or mental in nature. but either way i would say that you are expecting something (physically or mentally) that you're not getting. so explore what that might be and see how you can get that from the guy you're with. like in what way do you make yourself cum by yourself and is that same level of physical stimulation given during sex as well?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes had the same until I met a guy and decided to be open about it. As the guy was older and way more experienced then I was he understood it and told me where going to try a few things. He said it start to let go pressure that I've created in my head about this thing and he was right cause he made me orgasm. If you have a partner where you can be open about it and explain, that would be a great start.

    • Were you able to orgasm with his penis inside? I've noticed that when I masturbate with a toy I can't even finish if I'm rubbing myself because there is something inside me. It's incredibly frustrating! Maybe all of it is all a mental thing

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 9

  • I think it would be a good idea for him to watch you while you are masturbating. He can hold you and touch you, but he should leave your pussy only to you at this stage.

    As you wrote you can reliably reach orgasm alone. So it should work and maybe you get used to his presence during the process.

    Next time you can let him participate with fingers, tongue or cock.

  • It's not unusual for a woman to be unable to reach climax from intercourse alone. Many men can't reach climax receiving oral sex. I dated a woman who usually needed additional stimulation to finish. It wasn't a problem -- hand, mouth, vibrator, whatever worked for her was fine with me.

  • Maybe you crave emotional intimacy during intercourse

    • But I haven't just had casual hookups, a couple of guys I've been with I've been serious with, where we were having some passionate and intimate sex. Like someone else said I think part of it is a mental block, like I'm probably way too used to having my orgasms alone and under the sheets.

    • I don't know if it's just emotional block, you should find a pleaser in the bedroom, you know guys that get sexual pleasure from seeing their partner in pleasure, they will focus on pleasing you first and then that would help them get pleased in the process, it's possible maybe these guys were into the sex just for themselves but I don't know

  • Sounds like the partners you had aren’t doing their job.

    • I don't think I can't blame them. I've had some great lays where they've really got me going. It's just some stupid mental block which prevents me from actually achieving the O.

    • Well I think the right partner in bed wouldn’t even allow you the capacity to think, therefore eliminating any possibility of a mental block. Maybe you don’t need ‘great’ lays maybe you need ‘mind blowing’ ones lol

  • Sounds like a mental block to me. What are you fearing?

    • Yes, this is a valid point. I suppose I can feel self conscious at the thought of 'letting go' with a partner, and I tend to tense up when I orgasm so I think these little things can make me feel embarrassed and I worry that my body reactions might be seen as weird or awkward. Not sure how to get over that.

    • Yep I knew that was it. I know how you get over it also

  • You need a partner that is willing to truly discover you and give you what you want. It is that simple.

  • You are not alone. There are a lot of women that cannot orgasm from intercourse but can from oral or masturbation.

  • It’s definitely a mental block, the biggest sex organ is your brain, that’s what really controls your orgasm, you have figure what is blocking you mentally when with someone , you’re in control, doesn’t matter with the physical stimulation, maybe you just can’t totally let go when with a guy

  • Wrong partners is the likely scenario. Overstimulation during masturbation is a slight possibility; but if you are doing the same thing during sex and still can't climax; it is probably because he isn't the right guy for you.

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