I've never given my boyfriend a blow job and he's never asked for one?

Question

So in the 2 years that we've been dating I've never blown my boyfriend. However he's never asked me to, either... I see a lot of guys here talk about how they couldn't live without blow jobs. Should I be worried that he's never asked? Or do you think he just isn't interested?

pnl86 · Accepted Answer

There's an "assumption" here, which you're making, and which is preventing you from seeing another possibility that you're perhaps overlooking.

You are "assuming" that ALL MEN (including your boyfriend of 2 years) have absolutely no trouble expressing their needs and wants.

And, of course, if we assume that to be true, we don't have to go through the mental effort of trying to make it easy for him to express his needs and wants, or trying to figure out his needs and wants, or maybe just doing things randomly ourselves (to express our own interest in him as a man, and maybe the process of discovering more about his needs and wants sexually). See, when we make that assumption, the burden is 100% on him. That way, if he is silent, we can wash our hands clean and turn around and say, "But, I thought, if you wanted to do something, you would have just said so."

An more conniving woman like my mother would go a step further to wash her hands, she would "confront" him and put him under pressure to give a direct answer, "Do you or don't you want me to give you a blowjob?" Less of an erotic suggestive tone, more of an angry/offended tone. Wanting to diffuse the heated situation and maintain the pease, he would say, "No, I've never asked you for a blowjob." That's when the woman would go in for the kill. "Why not? Don't you like blowjobs?" This forces him to rationalize and support his position on blowjobs in a way that's consistent with his past behavior. Yet, in an effort to please and maintain the peace, he may just feel pressured to lie. He may honestly say, "No. I don't really like blowjobs," when what he would really like to say if he felt more comfortable saying it, would be, "It would be nice and I definitely wouldn't say no to you sucking my dick once in a while."

It all depends on what kind of relationship you want to have. People don't realize just how much they fuck up their relationships be NOT BEING HONEST from the very beginning. The more time they spend building the foundation of their relationship BASED ON A LIE, the more conflicted, resentful, and unhappy they're going to feel down the road.

Maybe he doesn't like blowjobs. Maybe he's asexual. Maybe he doesn't jerk off when he's alone and has no interest in women (sexually). Who knows? We have the same idea as you do, which is none, because we never really tried to ask the guy and get to know what he's really into and what he wants.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I like receiving, but it's not my favorite and it takes me a long time to cum. I'd much rather go down on her or get a skillful hand job. If he's like me or even more apathetic, it's not worth hitting you up to do it and possibly have you do something you don't really want to. But if you feel like it, try. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Since he hasn't asked, I wouldn't give it a second thought.

GirlNextBored · Accepted Answer

If you want you could give him one without him asking. You don't have to wait for him to initiate, just go ahead and do it.
But if the idea of a bj isn't attractive to you, he may be picking up on that and figures it's not worth asking for it.

James1986 · Answer

Sounds like you may have a good guy who's mind isn't poisoned by porn. I would be glad he hasn't asked for it, not worried. If he likes vaginal sex, then he is quite normal because he appreciates the proper function of your body. The mouth doesn't turn me on. The vagina however will make me lose it every time.

AustinMan · Answer

How about you ask him?

guy532 · Answer

No clue but honestly, I would never be with a girl that didn't give head, it's seriously like the best thing ever. It feels amazing and also makes you feel so manly for some reason, it's so empowering haha. Maybe he really doesn't like it, who knows. I'm sure he would have said something by now if he really wanted it. Why don't you ask him?

muffinguy · Answer

I don't think you should be worried that he's never asked for one. I'm pretty sure he would be interested, but its good to nature take its course. If you both talk about sex openly, I'm sure oral sex will be something that will be brought up.

Berethor · Answer

Oral is an extra, not the main thing, as long as you provide him with normal sex, it's fine.

wankiam · Answer

he shouldn't need to 'ask' ;)

GingerGuy · Answer

Some guys actually don't like them. It either just doesn't do much for him or he thinks it's disrespectful to you (some guys think that). Maybe because you've never offered, he just doesn't want to actually ask you (assumes you don't want to give him one). Just ask him. And no, it's nothing to be worried about.

TadCurious · Answer

Just because he's never asked doesn't mean he wouldn't want them. Ideally, he shouldn't have to ask. And you shouldn't have to ask that he do down on you.

vampireelf · Answer

some guys are just not interested in blowjobs

Nelipot365 · Answer

Don't even ask.. next time you're naked together just kiss him from his mouth and work your way down his body until you reach his cock. No guy is going to be annoyed at this. Please just suck him off.

McCurious · Answer

If you like giving blow jobs, next time you're fooling around, ask him if he wants one! You certainly don't need to be 'worried' in any way. Sometimes it is very difficult for people to ask for intimate acts to be performed on them. It can seem like asking for an awful lot. At any rate, why keep nice things like that out of your lives?

DizzyAster · Answer

Blow him and see if he likes it.

underdog_boy · Answer

If u have been physical many times before then... maybe he's not interested. Otherwise... It may happen... that he's shy.. u shouldn't be worried about that

SteamBuns · Answer

Some guys aren't interested, like me...

skeptic002 · Answer

LOL NO DON'T WORRY  you are funny hun

abc--123 · Answer

Best thing to do is ask him

love_truth · Answer

then u shuld try it

Anonymous · Answer

It's not really something we should have to ask for. It's foreplay, just like eating you out is foreplay

Anonymous · Answer

Most guys on here dont have lives including myselves lol. Not everyone is the same. Communicate to your boyfriend and see what he likes. Also make to tell him what you like.