I want to FUCK SO BADLY. When will my chance come?

I am almost 29 and haven't even kissed a girl in over 8 years. I had sex only one time when I lost my virginity at age 20 to a 16 year old girl who was also supposedly a virgin. I used a condom and I didn't even cum.

I see so many beautiful women out there and it is torture. I want sex so badly. Masturbating multiple times a day doesn't work anymore.

I don't want to give my heart to a woman who has loved someone else before me, especially during her youth. Yet, I am not the type to just sleep around either. I feel stuck.

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Superb Opinion

  • I am sorry to tell you but after reading through some of the things you are telling others, you are living in a fantasy world.

    It is true that she may have not made a connection with others and that it makes for a more grand story if things were to be as you want, but the reality is that your fantasy is only going to happen to 0.01% of Americans.

    One of my best friends, like you held out until he was in his 40s crying to me about not being able to find his wife. His fantasy was expecting to find love like his parents who fell in love at first sight, married 3 months later then lived 50+ years together happily married before his father passed away. Oh and yes he was looking for a virgin.

    I will tell you like I told him.

    Modern American society doesn't teach anyone to hold onto virginity. And while you maybe hearing that in a religious setting, the reality is that I don't think most people ever did. They like to tell they did, but the reality is that they probably didn't. Sure it is lovely to act like you are perfect at, —choose your religious setting—, but the reality is we are all human and have desires that often supersede what we believe to be the "right" thing to do.

    Does the possibility exist that the woman you find will have sexual experience and has created "soul ties" with someone else, I am using Christian vernacular because you sound like a person who grew up in church, yes that possibility exists. But you have to ask yourself. Should that possibility keep you from finding someone you could potentially live a long wonderful life with? If she loves you she will create boundaries around herself to protect your relationship with her and if she isn't a good woman then you probably should be looking elsewhere.

    The way I see it is even if she once loved someone else that doesn't mean she can not find fertile soil in her heart for your love to grow. If the two of them are no longer together, guess what, she is available to you because it didn't work out. Again, you may have to discuss boundaries on previous relationships, but that doesn't mean you can't have a beautiful relationship together.

    At the end of the day, finding and keeping love means compromise. Don't lower your standards until you find someone that treats you like a dog, but don't have them so high that you never have the opportunity to try.

    -------------------------

    On another note, masturbation will never satisfy you. It only makes the desire stronger.

    -------------------------

    Finally, dude leave them young girls alone. The age of consent exists for a good reason, you run the risk of not only mentally and emotionally damaging a little girl / young woman, but you will get put in jail and then have to rely on Bubba's butt cheeks to give you that loving you so long for and I don't think you want that.

Most Helpful Guy

  • wow you really are completely fucking clueless aren't you. first don't masturbate anymore. second go to your pcp primary doctor and get a testosterone test done on yourself. third don't jerk off don't watch porn nothing wait a week and see how you feel. fourth take a multivitamin at least once a week or twice a week. make sure it has 10%-15% zinc in it and a minimum of 400iud or 400mcg or 400mg of vitamin D to balance out the zinc or you'll get physically sick. fifth after a week of not jerking off and taking a multivitamin go to a mall when it's busy and see what happens when you look at a beautiful woman. if nothing or the same as now or slightly better repeat steps 1 3 4 until you see an improvement only this time wait two more weeks before going to a mall or out in public. also weight lift start weight training.

    one word of caution though once you're in a relationship you'll wish you hadn't because it's not as great as you're thinking women cheat lie use guys for money manipulate and use guys to help boost their career you name it they use guys then dispose of them when they feel like. and all you'll be left with is a broken heart and regrets women don't know loyalty if it struck them in the face. they don't know how to love or care for anyone but themselves

Most Helpful Girls

  • I'm confused. You won't date anyone who's ever had a romantic connection before? Because frankly at your age, assuming you're dating people of a similar age, that's not a realistic expectation (not to say some women haven't, but it definitely a small minority). Like, it's hard enough to find the right person even when you don't pointlessly eliminate the majority of the female population. What kind of insecurity is this even based on?

    It's chill to not want to sleep around, plenty of people have the same preference. Either way, your solution would probably be "go on dates" if you're looking to have sex, but won't unless you're dating.

    Realistically, you're probably going to have to compromise on the "never having loved" thing. Looking at your responses below you seem to have some weird ideas about how romantic connections work. You don't have to have met as kids/teens in order to create a strong, meaningful connection. Having been in love previously doesn't mean you're still in love with the person or that you'd ever go back to them. They broke up for a reason. Moreover, I'd argue that having been in love with someone previously can actually be a very good thing. She'll have a better idea of what she wants, what she values in a relationship, what her her expectations are, and how her flaws affect the two of you. Emotional maturity rocks.

    (Also, um... You realize that 16 is a minor right? And you were an adult? Like, dude, what/why? That person was a child.)

    • I can of course date younger women too, let's say early 20s. Will that increase my chances? Can I at least find a woman that has never made love? Maybe 1 time or casual sex is OK, but a woman that has never made love before at least? I much rather her never having an emotional bond with a guy before.

    • I mean no. That should not be where you're taking this. And no, expecting the woman to be a virgin, unless you both have some sort of religious reason, is just kind of weird and pointless. Why does it matter? Being the first doesn't mean it will be the best experience of her life. In fact, sex actually kinda sucks for many women the first time. And dude. WHY can't she have been in love? It doesn't harm your relationship for her to have had previous experiences. She's not going to leave you for her ex-boyfriend or something. If she's dating you, it's because she wants to. And if she's settling for you, then that's a whole different issue and is not a function of her past dating experiences.

    • It won't be as new, magical, and intense like it would be for me. The feelings are not as mutual.

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  • So wait. You don't want someone that was with anyone when they were young but you had sex with a 16 year old? Do you see the hypocrisy that you are typing or has it not hit you yet. Basically what I am getting is that you want a girl that has never been with someone else. Can't she expect the same then? That would rule you out for her by your own logic. Why not find a girl that is into you and you like her and stop worrying about her past.

    @snowedin a classic here.

    • I am more concerned about the emotional/romantic bonds she has formed more so than her sexual past. The thing is, when I had sex with her, she was younger and we didn't even establish a romantic relationship afterwards. There is no hypothetical situation that exists to where if I were to reunite with her it would be a sweeter love story, because she was really just a stranger.

    • But why does it matter if there was an emotional bond in the past with someone? Obviously it is over because they are not with the person.

    • Because of the circumstances that may exist to where if she were to be with that person from her youth, it would be a sweeter, more desirable love story, even if she chooses to remain with me. Me and a woman can no longer say we knew each other during our youth. We don't have those "roots". Plus, what if her first was really meant for her after all?

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What Girls & Guys Said

9 15
  • You have very unrealistic expectations

    • What is so unrealistic?

    • At your age it's going to be almost impossible to find a girl in your age bracket that already hasn't had a dick or two in her pussy.

    • What about women in their early 20s?

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  • AGE OF CONSENT IN U. S.: In the US, the age of consent is 18 in 11 states, it is 17 in 8 states, and 16 in 31 states.

    In my state - Florida - the age of consent is 18 BUT it is 16 if the other partner is not older than 23. This is sometimes referred to as a "Romeo and Juliet" law, or a "close in ahe" exception. Many other states have similar exceptions.

    So, a 20 year old make having sex with a 16 year old girl is not necessarily statutory rape.

  • It sounds like you suffer from "one-itis". The fact is that the older you get, the more of a past you will have, one way or another.

  • just go eat some doughnuts or something. But my condolences as well... you're a mortal cursed with extreme hornieness.

  • Stop being picky and you will get sex lol If you keep having these weird wants of someone who has never been in love it is highly unlikely to find at your age.. just try to find a girl you actually like and go out with her.. it isn't rocket science.. Unless you are ugly.. then good luck lol

    • I really don't want to give my heart fully to a woman the first time who has been in love with other guys before me, especially from her youth. I can of course go for younger women, but will they want me?

    • Why? What does it matter if they were in love before? How does that effect you at all? People who were in love usually know more than people who haven't been in a relationship and know what not to do because they fucked up with other people.. Sadly you are way too late for first loves lol What happened to the girl you lost your virginity to?

    • She didn't want to pursue anything romantically afterwards. I went to jail afterwards because of her, but that is an entire story of itself.

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  • Probably never unless you lower your standards

    • I wasn't lucky like you. You got to marry your high school sweetheart. I will never get to say me and a woman met when we were young. We will never have those "roots".

    • It's true I was lucky but love is always a gamble so it could have very easily not worked out for me. That's the risk you gotta take with dating. Even if you find the perfect woman it might not work out. You can't judge women that have had failed relationships

    • Also I had a few relationships before my husband so even back then I still had failed relationships before meeting the right person

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  • Ummmmmmm.

    Did you read what you wrote?

    First, you confessed to a felony in all 50 US states.

    Second, you'd prefer masturbating to real sex because of a fake ideal of their sexual past?

    Third, this problem is one of your making. Past is not relevant.

    Get a girlfriend. Have sex.

    • @_Maya_

    • Nope, age of consent is 16 in most US states. We were only 4 years apart in age. And I don't want to give my heart to a woman who has loved some other guy before me.

    • The consent part is usually contingent on the age of the other person. 20 is an age that most prosecutors would drool at. But let's not digress. You say you don't want to give your heart... Okay fine. That's your choice. But... you can't then whine about not having sex. All of this is YOUR choice.

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  • I'm not sure why you feel you warrant some woman who has never loved anyone before. Of the 1 in a thousand women out there your age who would fit that category, they're not exactly tripping over themselves to get to you now are they? Maybe some more realistic standards will speed along your sex life.

  • So u want a virgin yet you yourself are not one so not only are u a creep but can't give what u are looking for

    • I am seeking a woman that has never had a romantic bond with a guy before. It is not really about her sexual past as much as whom she shared her heart with.

    • A girl who has never shared a romantic past will more likely then not be a virgin so why would she want you

  • You are indeed stuck. You may as well be searching for a woman who can fly by flapping her arms.

  • You may have to pay for it. In your other post, I asked where in The South you live?

  • What is more important? Finding a woman who can love you today or finding a woman who never loved anyone before. I found the latter when I was young and believe me, it didn’t guarantee anything. What matters above all else is who a woman is today, in the present, as you find her, and whether she will love you and treat you well in the future.

    • I want me and a woman to be each other's one and only

    • I don't want it to be all new for me and not for her.

    • I can understand that, but to be fair you’re not a virgin even though it didn’t go well your first time. The problem is that almost everyone is touched by modernity. You can focus on religious dating sites and places of worship if you have belief yourself, otherwise your chances of finding a virgin near your age are slim. But again, don’t fool yourself into thinking that virginity prevents relationship problems. I’ve known of many cases where it did not.

  • I guess it depends on how you lick and finger Chance.

  • You are far too immature to have any kind of relationship. Re-read your post or better still see a therapist and have them read it.

  • Go looking

  • So first...16? You might be a pedo.
    Second, never fell in love with anyone else... yeah you're gonna be alone forever.

    • How can I be a pedo when we were only 4 years apart in age?

  • Wow.

    • Wow what?

  • Your standards are guaranteed to keep you celibate. You need to just have sex with a prostitute or rethink your standards.

    • Should I just hookup with a stranger and just ditch her afterwards? I don't want to develop feelings or give my heart to a woman that has loved another guy before me.

    • Yes- you should do that. Prostitutes are used to sex and separation and are not injured by this. It is their profession.

    • I will repeat what someone else said to you - LIFE IS NOT A ROMANCE NOVEL. You are hurting yourself by acting like it is.

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  • Dude I’ve dm you 👍

  • We're in shockingly similar situations... wish I had some better advice buddy

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