I want to start using a vibrater during was but I don't want to upset my husband?

Question

Okay, so I'm not that interested in having Sex anymore. It frustrates my husband but I think it's because I never get to finish, and when I do, it takes me so long I feel like it's a chore for him and I get too nervous to actually cum.
Like, why would I want to have sex every night if there's nothing in it for me, you know? It doesn't make you horny knowing you're just going to flop around on top of me for 5 minutes and go to sleep with no foreplay or anything.
I've talked to him about this and he just doesn't get it. I've told him that it's not easy for us women to cum without forplay or clitoral stimulation, he nods in understanding but doesn't change anything. I'll be there, doing dishes or something and he just expects me to be in the mood on his beck and call without any warm up
so, I need a toy. Maybe if he uses one on me, it's less effort for him and I can get off, too. But he's sensitive about this stuff and because i come so quickly using toys, he'll think it's personal and it's because he can't satisfy me or something. He also thinks toys are gross and I don't want to be judged. Yeah, anal sex doesn't turn him off (not that we've done that but he wants to) but a vibrator does?
Whay should I do? I'd love to enjoy sex and I'd love to want to have sex.

AustinMan · Accepted Answer

Here's a technique that works consistently for me. I hope it's helpful.

Cowgirl tips
Here’s the way I have found, with the help of a very cooperative girlfriend, that a woman can ride her man all the way up the mountain to multiple, increasing powerful orgasms and ultimately, squirting.
• He needs to understand that he can help with this position by grabbing her hips and helping her move. At first, leave to her own devices but as she gets more and more aroused, he should become stronger and more and more forceful in moving her back and forth.
• Put him on his back and mount up with you on your knees.
• Slide him in and settle in so you’re comfortable.
• Rock like you’re riding a horse, slowly at first and faster as you get more aroused.
• When you’re ready for him to help, reach down and put his hands on your hips. For effect, you can beg him in your sexy slut voice to help you.
• When you start to get close to cumming, move like you’re trying your best to break that thing off. Of course, you won’t but the point is to not hold back. Just go crazy.
• When you’re right on the edge, tell him to do you. He thrusts up as powerfully as he can and holds it with you impaled as deeply on his cock as possible, perched on his erection. He also forcefully tilts his hips and slams his shaft into your G-spot.
• As you cum, don’t even slow down. Keep going and you will cum over and over, each time increasingly intense.
• If you have The Big One, as I call it, you may very likely squirt so if there’s a gush, it’s not urine. It’s female ejaculate. Keep going until you’re completely done.
Here are a few ancillary suggestions:
• Pee first so that if you should squirt, you can be confident it’s not pee.
• If you’re into S&M, have him forcefully pinch your nipples as you’re starting to cum.
• He can slap your tits around if you’re into that. One girlfriend of mine liked to be slapped while she was up there with me telling her what a trashy slut she was for being up there in the first place.
• Some ladies like their men to reach around and smack their ass while they ride.

Anonymus2017 · Accepted Answer

There are a few things that you could try to get you off.

1) He could try giving you oral.
2) He could finger you for a while.
3) He could stimulate your breasts while he plays with your clit.
4) He could use desensitizing lubes to help him last longer.
5) He could use viagra to keep going even after he has finished.
6) You could try new techniques in the bedroom, perhaps clitoral stimulation from either you or him during the sex itself.
7) You can also get these pills from sex sites that heighten your sexual experiences, I am not too sure what they are called but it might be worth looking into. You take one and you will want it so bad that even the slightest touch you will feel.

That's all I can advise other than considering an open relationship where you can meet other men.

babygirl1997Mew · Accepted Answer

You need to come to terms with the fact that you are sexy and highly pleasurable. When you can be alone have a slow exploration of your body by yourself thinking about how good it feels to touch yourself

Kenni · Accepted Answer

Not everything is about him. He either makes you cum or you find a way to cum. He's being extremely selfish.

Christpaquin · Answer

He sucks, you don't need a vibrator you need another guy.

Blonde401 · Answer

He's a terrible lover. Get him told.

kentlevi · Answer

Simply plan on when you think he might be in the mood. Get started earlier without him using your vibrator. Then call him upstairs to finish the job. Just tell him you've suddenly become in the mood that moment and you want him badly.