I was going through my daughters text message and saw nudes were exchanged with a boy should I tell her and ground her or just ground her?

Question

I was going through my daughters text message and saw nudes were exchanged with a boy should I tell her and ground her or just ground her?

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

This is almost a right of passage, at my school starting in 7th grade, almost everyone (that wanted to be popular and fit in) would send nudes.

Only the real hard core crazy teens would do nudes with sexual acts.

A nude pic is not legally considered porn. Those that would do more than that, were creating child porn. While porn has nudity in it, not all nudity is considered porn.

I won't go into details here, but you can research online about it, if you want to know more information from sources you trust. If nudity itself was porn, a parent taking a picture of a naked child, playing with toys would also be considered porn, but it is not.

You know what kind of pictures where exchanged so you can decide if they were nudity or porn.

If it was child porn you may want to consider involving the police, but you may want to talk to her about it first, rather than getting her into juvey.

Explain that there is nothing wrong with her body but what she is doing is not the right way to approach it.

If she is curious, have a nice talk with her about boys and try to alleviate some of that.

There are online resources if you need some that can help. I personally like this series, have to read the captions though.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFopzyapiFYRN8dm4W_kp_RwcuGfNS-eD

Chances are that boy has already shared those pics with others and possibly even online, she needs to realize that and accept that, come to terms with it.

Personally, I'd take her phone away for a period of time as punishment. Regardless of if she thinks you have no right to monitor her phone or not, as a parent you have ever right to know what is going on, plus you pay the bill.

The real problem though is if she is curious about others, boys, or as curious as I was when I was 12 to 14 and she gets along good with him, she may just meet up somewhere and show each other which can lead to more.

Curiosity definitely kills the cat.

Best of luck with this and hope for the best.

Sirenboobzilla · Accepted Answer

No. Grounding won't stop it. If anything it'll either fuel it more or just help her get creative. I advise talking to her about the possible consequences of it i. e the boy sharing pictures with his friends even though he promises not to, being put on the internet, and so on. Same as with sex; you can't stop it from ever happening, but you can teach how to do it safely and what could potentially happen without protection or even with it

WeirdoFriendly · Accepted Answer

I think you'd need an explanation to ground her. Otherwise, I doubt she'd be happy and just keep doing her own thing. Of course, she's not going to be happy about you snooping around in her personal life. But, you're the parent. It's your job to keep her safe and teach her right from wrong.

Just, if she does keep doing it in the future, make sure she knows not to show her face and her body at the same time. For her safety from people who'll use it against her somehow. Just a tip in case. Hopefully this helps

SnowedIn · Accepted Answer

Don't ground her. But tell her. Be prepared for her to be pissed you went through her messages, particularly if you didn't have permission.

Make this about her safety and her future not about the fact that there's a boy or that there are nudes. Our kids are going to do stuff like that.

If you ground her, you're going to push her away from you and you're not going to change behavior. She needs you as an ally during these teen years, not snooping and punishing.

NotTacocaT6969 · Answer

It’s up to you to be a parent.

But think back to how you would’ve reacted at that age.

Being punished for sexual exploration can easily turn a sexually curious girl into a whore just out of spite.

Tread carefully.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I agree with @agape93. Call the police. . . And Ground her, and get her into counseling.

__cassiexxx · Answer

Tell her

summiter · Answer

How old is she? I would educate her on the dangers of posting nudes on the internet. Had the boy sent her dick pics?

boggboss · Answer

Thats upto you but grounding her won't make her stop and if your gonna punish her u have to give a reason lol

Citizenkirk · Answer

You should apologize to her for going through her private e-mails without her knowledge or consent.

Bricealan · Answer

How old is she. That would be a factor for me?

Agape93 · Answer

How old is she

Dargil · Answer

How old is she? Warning. You won't stop it and you will lose her as a friend. Better to talk with her about sexuality to keep her from starting a family.

misogynistic_pig · Answer

All teenagers today do that, at my university there was a telegram group where men shared the nude photos that women sent them.

Kyyroz · Answer

Ground her and switch her to a brick phone Nokia. That's all she needs to call.

joeldalton · Answer

tell her and ground her.

Twalli · Answer

You need to tell her why you are grounding her. Maybe she did more that you don't know. So if she's grounded she knows she did something wrong, but she won't know which transgression (if she's made several) she's being punished for.