If you've realized that a past sexual assault is interfering with your ability to bond with or be physical with a new partner, it’s possible that you have a form of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Those feelings may not go away on their own, but a licensed mental-health provider should be able to help.
How much you want to share with your partner about a previous assault should be totally up to you.
This one is easier said than done, but a mental-health professional can help you gradually change the way you think about sex, both consciously and subconsciously. The goal, is to shift away from a sexual abuse mindset (in which sex is unsafe, exploitative, or obligatory) to a healthy sexual mindset (sex is empowering, nurturing, and, most importantly, a choice.
Avoiding exposure to media that portray sex as sexual abuse.
That may include television programs or movies that portray rape; pornography that depicts aggressive or abusive situations; and even news reports about #MeToo accusations. It can also help for you and your partner to use language about sex that’s positive and healthy, rather than terms like “banging” and “nailing” that imply violence.
If people are struggling with intimacy, the first thing to do is really address the psychological symptoms associated with the assault.
This may also be a time for experimenting with sensual self-care and masturbation, so you can rediscover the kind of physical contact you really do desire and enjoy. Do you satisfy your physical needs by masturbation? This can help you feel more in control, and more comfortable, incorporating these elements into your physical relationship.
I hope I answered your question. Any queries? Please feel free to ask. In case you need any help in future just ask without fear 😊2 0 0 0My husband knows everything about it and he never force me I don't want to go to phycatrist
Np as you wish but you should.😊
Most Helpful Guy
I was molested when I was 12 by 2 older boys in the 12th grade and I had a real hard time with relationships until I found the only thing that helped me get over it and I had to find it on my own because I couldn't tell anyone about it what I found out that let me move forward and forget about it was you have to forgive them that is the only way you are going to be able to move forward and forget about what happened as long as you keep wanting to hurt that person you will always relive every second time after time all day all night all the time I know I have been there for far more years than you if you want to move forward and forget about it and I know you do then you MUST forgive him I know it sounds religious but I'm not talking about any kind of religion I'm talking about you your sanity your marriage how much longer do you think either one is going to last
It's not going to happen overnight but tell your self that it wasn't your fault he was sick you did nothing wrong and its going to be hard but the alternative is loosing everything including your marriage and sanity I know if I hadn't of found a way to forgive my attackers I would have killed myself i wished for death thousands of times a day for many years so you have to do this or you will never lead a normal life again0 0 0 0
Most Helpful Girl
Its sex. He doesn’t he need to have sex to love you. Right now you’re in a stage of healing and recovery, don’t rush yourself. It might be frustrating to go at whatever pace you are, but you’ll have people who will stand by and support you. Your husband has to be able to understand and respect that in order for you to fully heal, if you force yourself you might undergo a lot more trauma.
0 0 0 0He loves me so much and he understands it but it's been a year
There’s a lot of hurt and trauma that occurs with rape. If it takes more than a year, it takes more than a year. His love will be willing to withstand that. If it takes ten years, it takes ten years. Sexual intimacy isn’t why he fell in love with you, it might be a nice bonus, but he will love you regardless. You should feel free to take all of the time you need.
Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions
What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!What Girls & Guys Said
1 17I'm so sorry for what happened to you. How much therapy did you have after you were attacked?
0 0 0 0If you are recovered from the traumas, why are you not able to engage in sex? Either you are not really recovered or there is another (possibly related) problem.
0 1 0 0I don't find any problem
So what prevents you from having sex with him?
Find a professional to talk to, you need help sorting through it.
0 0 0 0talk to a therapist
there isn't much we can do. sorry to hear what happened to you0 0 0 0Could be ptsd. Talk to a therapist, hon.
0 2 0 0Don't want to talk to therapist some personal reasons
You may need to. Clearly there’s something unresolved.
Superb Opinion