I was raped, do you think it's partly my fault?

A week ago I agreed to experiment sexually with a former friend of mine. He's older and we've been friends for a few years until last night. I've never experienced oral sex or anything like that and I'm already 21 so he volunteered to show me how good it feels. We agreed on everything beforehand. There would be no penetrative sex, only foreplay. He was allowed to finger me and give me oral and I would give him a hand job. It was what I was most comfortable with.



We get to his place and the foreplay starts. He starts to finger me but he was rough and it hurt so I told him to stop. He told me to take off my clothes. I lied down and he got on top of me, kissed my breasts then licked and sucked my nipples. He fingered me gently while he did it and I got really wet cause it felt good. That went on for a little while then he ate me out. He told me he wanted me to cum all over his face. I did the best I could to cum but he was so rough that I couldn't. It felt okay but it probably would have felt better if he wasn't so rough.



Afterward I made good on my end of the deal and gave him a handjob. I used my saliva so it wasn't dry or anything and did the best I could. He wanted to play with my breasts while I did it but they were sore so I said no. I did the handjob for at least twenty minutes and he told me he can't come from just a handjob alone and even with sex it takes him a long time to cum.



He said he would be able to cum if he rubbed his penis between my vagina lips so I said okay. He put on a condom and told me to lie down and he got on top of me. I reminded him not to put it in. He started to rub it on me but he kept pushing at my entrance so I told him that it hurt and to stop doing it.



He didn't stop and when I tried to push him off and get up he held me down and started to penetrate me. I told him stop and that I didn't wan
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wouldn't budge. He just kept kissing me and continued to suck my breasts although I had told him earlier that they were sore. If he knew he couldn't cum by just a hand job alone why agree to it in the first place? I have a couple of small tears near and in the entrance of my vagina and it hurts like hell. In the lower part of my stomach hurts and my breasts are still sore too.
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I couldn't move for like a minute or so and he was so rough. I told him he was hurting me and to stop but the more I screamed the more excited he got so I tried not to cry. He kept spreading my thighs further apart and took it out and entered me roughly again and he kept going deeper into me until all of him was in me. He did that a few times and I tried to push him off but he wouldn't budge. He just kept kissing me and continued to suck my breasts although I had told him earlier that they wer
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  • Of course that's not your fault. He tricked you.

  • Very detailed, report him

  • I don't know how technically you wanna get but it was almost like a verbal contract which he broke. Now its not your fault but if you want to go after this guy in the court of law I don't know how much you have Technically its rape but the defense would argue that sex isn't a contract and things do happen in the moment. I know you probably don't want to see the guy or talk to him but did you cuss him out or do anything? Ruin is life? Sometimes it is better to take things into your own hands. Especially with the power of social media. Just look at what is known the Arab Spring.

    • He texted me the morning after and I did kind of cuss him out.

  • Well, first of all, bring him up on charges and let the law sort this out.

    cuz I got nothing here. in my opinion, sex is like jumping off a cliff. There's a point where you can stop and turn around, but after you jump, there's no stopping the fall.
    I mean his penis was rubbing your vagina. It's like having a starving dog lick some raw meat, and then get mad when it snatches it away, possibly biting you.

    I'm not going to blame you.

    I am going to say, don't let it happen again... with anyone.

    • Thanks for your opinion and I won't be pressing charges.

  • Nothing's your fault. You had an agreement and he violated that agreement. He violated your consent. He penetrated you without your permission.

  • nope. he used you! but I think he felt comfortable enough to do that, since you didn't say anything when he did rough oral, and you let him put on a condom and thought he didn't want to have sex. he was an evil guy, so next time please speak up for yourself!!!

    • The condom was so his precum wouldn't drip all over me nor did I want him to cum on me. I didn't know he would have put his penis in me. When we got rough during oil I pushed his head away and told him to stop. Some parts were left out and everything is all jumbled up. I should have paid more attention.

    • like I said, he sounds evil. but if he put a condom on, most people would assume he meant sex anyway. I'm really sorry this happened.

  • it's not your fault but you should never have trusted him completely like that.
    you have to imagine that he could betray your trust and have his way with you.
    i understand that you are inexperienced but you have to ”mind the store”

    • We were friends for three years and shared everything with each other, there was no reason for me to assume he would have done that. I do understand now tho.

  • It became rape the moment you said stop and he didn't.

    • It's not your fault, but this is why some people should have safe words. Some stupid fucks truly think stop means continue.

    • Thanks. :)

  • Well, this situation, it was really on the edge, and it was easy to fall down. Before it is clear. No sex, just handjob / fingering and eating out. But it also says, that he will make you cum and you will make him cum. He might have thought he made you cum (if a guy is rough, he does not notice that you did not cum, any voice is cumming for him), and he wanted it, too. It was not your fault, maybe partially because this WAS a risk. It is also often done to girls, because some girls dream about a rape. Then he thinks - what if she is like the girls from the internet, pretending she does not want sex, but secretly willing to be raped? I know, nobody wants to be REALLY raped, just to be really dominated by their sexual partner, but I also used to explain it in this, WRONG way. So, it is like 15% your fault, 25% his fault and 60% is due to the risky situation.

    • I don't understand what having orgasm has to do with what he did. He knew he couldn't cum from handjobs alone but neglected to tell me that. Too bad I realized it afterward. Before trying to 'dominate' someone normal people usually ask if they want to be dominated and they pick a safeword. Not just ago ahead and rape someone.

    • He probably did not know that he cannot cum from HJ, recieving HJ is something that sometimes makes guy cum, sometimes does not. And what you did was like 80% sex (almost sex) so for him, he just added 20% (you were already naked, playing, fingering, he will never understand what is the difference if he puts his penis inside). I just know it from experience, that it is a big difference for women if they don´t allow something, then it is rape. But he might not have know, or he might have thought that you will like it. Or he might have been a jerk. But this rape was certainly much softer and different from a rape when guy meets random girl on a street and forces her to have sex. But I understand you, just saying it could be worse.

    • I'm sorry but you're misguided and there was nothing "soft" about what he did to me.

  • Tl; dr. It wasn't your fault. When you said Stop he should have stopped.

  • No one ever asks to be raped. The Police should be called because you told him to stop and he forced himself on you. You even have internal damage to show for it. You were genuinely raped, call the Police, now.

  • No means no and no its not your fault

  • no, he should have stopped when you told him to

  • There's always a fine yet invisible line that is crossed in rape. Once you hit go, there's no stopping.

  • Yeah you get raped and you did'nt defend yourself its your fault society is not your bodyguard we are not born to risk our lives to save everyone we are members of society born to enjoy the world.

  • Don't make such a big deal out of it

  • Was it a sex story to give us boners?

  • No.

    And if he normally can't cum from a hj he should never have agreed. I think he assumed you'd get so excited you'd be okay with it or some shit.

    Absolutely not your fault.

  • If you told him to stop and he didn't, that was rape. He did not have your consent to have penetrative sex.

  • I wasn't raped, but I had been sexually touched when I was younger twice and one was my father no way is it your fault

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