I was sexually harassed and I liked it?

[Anonymous]

I was sexually harassed by my friends brother several times. He knew that I was a virgin and that I was inexperienced, I think he used this knowledge to his advantage. He was so charming and kind that at times when he would touch me without my consent I was almost afraid to say “no, don’t touch me” Cause I liked the attention and I guess I didn’t want it to stop. I did say no at times but at other times I allowed him to touch me and stayed quiet. I enjoyed being a tease given the attention I would receive. I never proposed nor initiated physical contact with him, except for the one time we were in bed and he asked for a hug, which I gave him, which he then must’ve took as me giving him consent to get on top of me and try to dry hump me. I said no to that.
I knew what he was doing was wrong but I couldn’t always get the words out, it was the first time a guy did anything sexual in nature with me. I felt desired sexually for the first time.
I’ve had dreams about it, I miss feeling wanted and touched the way he touched me, even though what I know what he was doing was wrong. The whole situation almost felt exhilarating, while also making me confused.
Is it still sexual harassment if I liked the attention and the sexual nature of our relationship?

[PhilEvans]

It's sexual harassment and rape unless you consented to it.

Even if you liked, or had a crush on the person, or even if you enjoyed and orgasmed from it. Unless you gave permission, it's still rape.

[AustinMan]

It sounds to me like he really has your consent and that you're just ambivalent. I suggest you give in to the feelings and see where it goes but only after he agrees to stop immediately if you ask him to.

[simonqq]

Well there were times you didn't like it which is sexual harassment. Otherwise I'm unsure, legally it maybe is difficult. Not thinking in legalities it's probably up to you how you feel about it.

I understand what you mean though about the attention and feeling wanted. I've made mistakes myself because of wanting that too. It's something I still want but have more come to terms with, sexting can also be a way to experience it without the actual thing but can be risky for other reasons.

[Berethor]

Well you said no sometimes, though only sometimes, also even if it was harassment, you can forgive him. Seem like a gray situation, and that you don't know what you want.

[Rippersavage]

No it's not because u gave him the impression that u wanted it and he could tell. Consent doesn't always have to be verbal. Also when he started touching u, u didn't say no or physically stop him most of the time

[Asker]

We’ll consent should be verbal, in this case I didn’t ask for any of this to happen and he shouldn’t have been trying to do stuff with me to begin with given that I’m his sisters friend and he’s older. Consent should always be verbal and if you don’t think so that sounds dangerous.

[Asker]

And I didn’t want it, he took advantage of my silence. I was nice to him that doesn’t mean that I want him to touch me, I didn’t give him any impression that I wanted anything when he initially started touching me, he was testing to see how far he could go. He took advantage of the fact I was inexperienced and had never done anything.

[Rippersavage]

First of all, there's nothing in this world that I hate more than rape/sexual assault. Secondly, by ur logic if a guy wants to kiss a girl he has to ask for permission but the vast majority of girls don't like that. So consent doesn't always have to be verbal. Thirdly, he made a move and it's ur responsibility to reject him but and u said nothing nor physically tried to stop him so of course he's going to think that u r okay with it. And u clearly stated that u did like it so he would've been able to tell that u liked through ur body language.

[Iron_Man]

Basically you just let it all happen if you really wanted it to stop you could’ve made him stop Easily with a right cross to the nose or a knee to his balls.

[Asker]

Essentially lmao but I didn’t want to be mean

[oncpl]

It is not sexual harassment because what he has done, did it with your verbal or tacit consent. Since you have not yet experienced sex, therefore his every move and touch makes you horny. Find it thrilling, you need more such plays. It is nothing to worry except that one day you will be ready to have sex with him.

[Asker]

He never asked for my consent he would just touch me.

[oncpl]

Why should both of you, or either one, ask others' permission when they are in good, lovely and friendly relations?

[Asker]

Cause you should tf... there's a difference between touching someone sexually and in a friendly way

[oncpl]

I have very simple philosophy: if you are in love, don't think of what is appropriate or inappropriate.

[Asker]

Lol that’s horrible logic but I’m not in love

[oncpl]

Liking someone when he approaches you sexually is first stage of love.

[Asker]

That is far from true

[oncpl]

You may be correct. I can't say with certainty what was going on in your mind when all this was happening. If it was only thrill, sensuality and pleasure without deep feelings, then you are right.

[bklynbadboy1]

Nothing wrong with that trust me it happens more than you think. Why do you think I was wrong and how far did you let it go.

[Valnac]

Although it’s not right, you seem to be aroused by it and that’s what makes it confusing.
if you want to continue, I’d sit down with him and tell him what he needs to do.
If you want it to stop, tell him that too!
it’s your choice, stick to it

[StinkygirlLover]

I think it's kind of normal I wouldn't be too worried

[Tstrbrainer]

No I don't think so because you miss him

[Asker]

I don’t miss him, I liked being touched the way he would touch me but knew it was wrong

[Asker]

When I think about what Happen it was exhilarating to me

[Smirnoff23]

Seems to me he was awakening your sexual desires... Lucky guy

[Asker]

He tried to, but without my consent, so lucky guy no more like predator lol

[Smirnoff23]

Good for you

[Dat-Alpha-Lion]

Do you wish you could get groped on a train?

[Asker]

Not at all

[Dat-Alpha-Lion]

Do you get horny in public a lot?

[Asker]

Nope

[Anonymous]

It is only sexual harassment if it is unwanted; if you wanted it then it isn't harassment.

[Asker]

I didn’t want it, I was sort of indifferent to East was happening, he's very manipulative and I feel like he knew what to do when to do it.

[Asker]

What * not East