Sexual Relationships
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I will not give you a blowjob because that's degrading... but you better grab the bill when we eat out!

When you have derogatory phrases like: "Go eat a dick," "Suck my cock," "Blow me," etc. I can sort of see where the myth of it being a degrading act to women would come from.

Some girls will say anything that doesn't directly bring them pleasure is degrading. I've heard many say that giving any sort of blowjob is degrading, just the basic act. Doesn't help that facials are a fairly popular occurrence in porn but I agree that they're in no way by default degrading.

What is degrading about something I ask my boyfriend to do because I enjoy it?
Absolutely nothing. Some people need to look up the actual definition of degrading in a dictionary.
Degrade: to treat (someone or something) poorly and without respect.

I will not give you a blowjob because that's degrading... but you better grab the bill when we eat out!

If anything, When a girl gives a guy a blow job, she dominates him!
(Whoever is at the giving end of oral sex is generally seen as the dominant one, though that really shouldn’t matter if you’ve decided to suck his dick in the first place.)

To the girls who feel like giving the man they love oral sex is degrading; how do you feel about him going down on you? Are you entitled to that because well… because you happened to be born with a second X-chromosome?

I will not give you a blowjob because that's degrading... but you better grab the bill when we eat out!

Here comes the argument that some people are even into feel degraded, being submissive to their man. Let’s not forget that sex for most people, at least when done within a relationship, is all about the mind-set. If you view being on your knees and having your man’s dick in your mouth as a beating to the ego, as lowering your self-value, that’s a whole ‘nother issue. You’d think it may be time to look at your self-worth as being held in something other than how you’re viewed by the opposite sex, or what sexual activities you participate in.

Let’s step away from the perspective in which there’s anything wrong in doing something seemingly selfless for a partner is ‘bad’. Why not take pride in being able to bring such pleasure to who you care for and calling all the shots? The more you place your self-value in your sexual activities, the more your sexuality will define you.

If giving oral to your partner is degrading you are doing it wrong with the wrong person.

Any sex act can be degrading or not degrading-- it depends on how you approach it.

I will not give you a blowjob because that's degrading... but you better grab the bill when we eat out!

A bit of a question to close this off to the girls who do refuse to give head to their man because they choose to see it as disrespectful… what are the specific guidelines to make him ‘deserving’ of it? To allow him to engage in activities that were once seen as primarily reserved to occur only within a relationship, but have now become even sparser?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It has nothing to do with it being degrading for me. I've never done it because I don't feel comfortable doing it. I don't feel like it's something I'd be good at. I also dont like the idea of him finishing in my mouth or anywhere on my face. If that makes me a prude, so be it. You enjoy doing it, good for you. I'm also not one of those girl that expect oral either. I know it's give and take.

    • okay fair point. This is more applicable to the people who refuse to do it and make such a claim yet expect it from their guy. Things like that, it just gets frustrating for me when I have to listen to my friends spouting out so many double-standards while taking a stance and I have no choice but to feign agreement. :P

    • Oh well yeah, I don't think it's fair to expect something when you aren't willing to give something in return. I agree with that aspect.

    • I don't think it's give and take though. So many people believe sex is about give and take. It's not. My problem is that if you don't like giving blow jobs then fine, but don't say it's because it's degrading or not pleasurable. You might be good at it by the way. Never know and a guy doesn't have to finish on your face or mouth just because you gave him a blowjob.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've never understood why giving a guy a blowjob should be degrading if it's not forced and it's consensual. Any more so than a man going down on a woman. It's about giving pleasure to another person. This kind of mindset will lead to unhealthy relationships.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Actually completely agree. "the more you place your self-value in your sexual activities, the more your sexuality will define you." The act is only degrading if you have such low self-esteem that you allow yourself to feel degraded by the act.

    • excellent psychoanalysis. And women who say it's "yucky" etc... reveal in their reasons alone that they are stunted emotionally.

  • I definitely don't feel degraded giving blowjobs... I love to wear a sexy dress and I've always made everyman I gave a blowjob to very happy often telling me it was very good and often the best they ever had... it probably helps that I swallow and show enthusiasm to suck a penis.

    • we all know that , you are on your knees more than a Catcher in baseball

  • Thank God for your balancing of the lunacy of the typical MyTake. I wish we could upvote and downvote mytakes. I would upvote 1,000 times.

    I am supremely surprised at how many women I see in the comments who view oral as a degrading thing. I have never seen it like that, and, I'm assuming, neither have any of the women I've been involved with. I've never had one single woman who refused mutual oral. It is staggering to me.

  • I honestly was a little reluctant with my first blowjob. But then I realized that I loved cock.
    I've never felt degraded, not even when my boyfriend fucks my throat or cums on my face. He tells me how lovely I am and helps me clean up, hooking my bra and buttoning my shirt. I'm almost always on my knees to suck him off and sometimes he'll wipe his cock on my chin or cheek.
    I adore him and I love his dick. I love when he lets me suck the tip, I love when he asks me to deep throat, I love when he makes me look up at him.
    A blowjob isn't necessarily a job for me. It's a gift and I love when I get the opportunity to pleasure my boyfriend in that way.

  • In my case actually my dad taught me it was degrading and said I shouldn't do it. He also said it was quite impersonal and not that great. I'm not really sure about that claim yet.

    • To be fair, most dads will say anything to get their daughters not to have sex lol.

    • Haha. Yeah. I'm sure your dad schooled you on how evil and terrible sex is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPxSU7zDmOE

    • @zorro8888 he does want me to have sex though. He gave me a big tube of lube and asks every week if I had sex already xD

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  • I was ready to get my sass on when I read the title, but YES GIRL. Love it.

  • I would never let my boyfriend finish on my face or eat his semen because I find that disgusting and degrading. And that's ok because I'm an adult with my own preferences and opinions. And he loves my blowjobs without my having to do either of those things.

    • I agree with you. That's the part I object to. It gets me in a mindset that makes me feel uncomfortable and dirty/used. Even though my partner is the nicest, sweetest, man the act itself is what bothers me. He never ever wants me to feel degraded, which is why he never pushes my comfort zone.

    • That's how I feel too. And that's how my boyfriend is too! As long as everyone feels respected and happy at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what the next person is doing sexually.

    • then you don't let him eat your pussy either right? if you do, you're full of shit... because in eating pussy he's ingesting your vaginal juices the entire time. So i hope you don't take and then not give, that's just bullshit.

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  • It sounds like you have a healthy view of men and of relationships. Anything can be twisted into an insult if you have enough hate in you. When I start hearing a woman talk about how something is degrading just because they don't like it, that is a huge red flag telling me to run.

  • Blow jobs can be both degrading and empowering.

    I feel like it depends on how the couple treats it.
    In my eyes the 'bottom' (giver of blow job.) is in control. I don't care who's on their knees or who has hold of who's hair or how much the top is enjoying it. The bottom has all control over how much pleasure the top receives. That is empowering.
    When it's degrading is when the top is taking their pleasure. Using the bottoms mouth instead of the bottom choosing what to do. This can still be consensual and pleasurable for each, however for the bottom it is degrading, it simply depends on whether or not the bottom finds degrading as hot.

    I have more thoughts on the matter but I'm having trouble wording them.

    • hmm maybe. Regarding it being degrading once the top 'takes over' for their pleasure though, how is it degrading if the 'taker', or the girl, wants that to happen? She's losing self-respect and being humiliated by engaging in something she wants just as much?

    • No. Perhaps degrading is the wrong word. Disempowering? It strikes me as being used for pleasure, like a sex object as such. I know a lot of people are into that. The idea that they're being used, that they are a tool to get their partner off. I don't see this as a bad thing, I see it as a level of 'play'. It can be humiliating sure. But it's all based on how the bottom views what is happening. What kind of light they them self sheds on their situation. Personally I would find it humiliating. I would find it to be degrading for my partner to take, rather than allowing me to give. But I would enjoy it all the same. Keeping in mind that I'm assuming this is all consensual of course. Personally a blow job of any kind I view as doing a service to my partner. It's not a chore. It's not a job. It's a service that I very much enjoy whether I am giving or he is taking. Yes I find it degrading but admittedly I get off on that. to be continued. . .

    • Apparently not to be continued. I had another point and my brain did a backflip and reloaded and all unsaved data has been lost. I think my point has been made though?

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  • Personally I was always of the belief that you should do what makes your partner happy (within reason of course). Some times you may not like something but that doesn't mean you don't do it, its about pleasing them not yourself. You get out what you put in if you don't put them first they have no reason to put you first (and you have no reason to ask to be put first).

  • Your title really angered me. I had my feathers all ruffled up to launch into an enormous rant at you.

    Thank you for having a brain and stopping me after reading the take. I happen to agree.

    • hahah ok glad it didn't end up going that way in the end and that you enjoyed what I had to say. :)

  • I have never felt like pleasuring by now husband or boyfriends (before I met hubby) was degrading. If I am at a point in a relationship that we are sharing bodily fluids, then what difference does it make where I take it in.

    Besides I like to do that for him, I am a "pleaser" and get a lot of satisfaction out of making him feel good. Most guys really like oral and the point of making love is to make each other have a pleasurable experience.

  • yeah i dont think its degrading, and as long as he knows how to return the favor, im good!

  • It's not degrading and also I am not a fucking meal ticket

  • I loved this my take. Call it empowering or enjoying, I feel great about giving my guy pleasure. He gives me emmense pleasure as well. It's called a relationship. None of it is ever degrading, ever. I will get on my knees to blow him anytime he wants. swallow, of course, for several reasons. facial? if he wants. Anal? Tried it, wanted to, but it hurt and didn't fit. So we move on from that and do something else. What's the big deal? It's a relationship. He will spend an hour with his face between my legs if I like, because he likes. It's a relationship. I'll try anything if it provides him or me or us pleasure. the only way I can see the word "degrading" used is when it's not consensual and in that case, it's not a relationship.

    • glad you enjoyed it. :) You sound exactly like myself in terms of what I'd do from my boyfriend, he'd do for me, and how of course that's simply what falls into most relationships. Assuming it's all done willingly, no need to be nit-picky and whine about some more 'rights' that are supposedly being violated.. before you know it, there's going to be a lot of girls who cried wolf if things continue at this rate. :)

  • Selfless doesn't automatically mean good. A misguided favor done for someone is still bad, even if the intentions were good. To put something in someone's mouth that the mouth and that object were not designed for is degrading to the Image of That which the two beings were made in. And that doesn't change, regardless the direct participants' opinions on the subject.

    • ... so even if both parties want it to happen, say between my boyfriend and myself, it's degrading because the mouth was not created for sexual purposes?

    • Vocational Destiny trumps Volition Dilemma on the hierarchy of universal moral priorities. It was wanting it the other way around that inspired every major bad thing in human history.

    • cool. cool story bro. Who woulda thunk that a woman giving her man head resulted in the holocaust, ISIS, etc..

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  • Nice take. Is there really that many women that won't suck cock out there?
    I would never be in a relationship where I wasn't getting a BJ.
    I am a Super oral person. If I had my way sex would be 80% oral. I am not satisfied unless I get to eat pussy...
    but sometimes I want to be inside her but only at the end..

    • thankyou. :) Not sure it there are a lot of women like that but many of my friends share that mind-set. Most don't give head at all, and the ones who do are like... on the VERY sexual end of the spectrum. The ones who will have threesomes on the regular and such. so not much middle ground in my social circle, at least. :P

  • It's not that I find it degrading. Some people like giving blow jobs. However, I don't find it "fun" or "sexy". It's just nasty to me. If other people do that, that is their prerogative. You can say, "What if you dated him/her for a long time, and he/she asked you?" I would've still said no. You see, these are questions some guys/girls ask when they just head and nothing to do with you after. I just find it disguting giving it or recieving it.

    • What do you find nasty about it?

    • @BigBlack615 The fact the you pee out of it and i'm putting it in my mouth. That's just my personal opinion.

    • I can respect that. A lot of guys think that girls squirting is hot but I guess we try to not to think about even the trace amounts of pee in it. One question though, so that means you've never masturbated with your hands right?

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  • Every thing a person can do on this planet is degrading to somebody. But the real underlying issue is why are these things degrading? Giving oral sex is only degrading if you make it degrading. If you have your man spitting on you and slapping you across your face and forcing his penis down your throat until you gag, you are letting yourself be degraded. But if you truly find giving your man pleasure with your mouth degrading, there has to be a reason why and it is not because you are putting a penis in your mouth. I've been with women who do not want cum in their mouths, but they still love to suck cock. They'll even tell you how good they are at it, or hint about how amazing what she's about to do to you will be. Did they feel it was degrading? Clearly not. What is different about them and you? Perception. Oral sex is about giving pleasure. If you don't want to give your partner pleasure, don't bother putting it in your mouth. A lackluster blowjob from a woman who feels the act is beneath her is worse than no blowjob at all. I would only find a sex act degrading if I was forced to do it and it was repulsive. Think the scene in Hot Tub Time Machine where they forced the guy to blow his friend. A straight guy forced to suck dick is certainly degrading. Especially if that guy is bigger than he is, and everybody sees the act and never lets him live it down. But if you are in a relationship and find pleasuring your man with your mouth degrading, the issue is you, not him or the act.

    • .. exactly. Hence why I decided to write a satirical take on this very topic.

    • Oh I'm aware of the satire. I was not directing it at you :)

  • You lost me after the first paragraph. First of all, you don't need to feel entitled to give a guy a blowjob, but your certainly neither entitled to get dinner paid for you. We live in an age where women are liberated and equal. In a relationship it's give AND take, not take take take. I sense red flags. Well you don't have to deal with this if you chose the right guy. You picked a guy like this, so don't come complaining here and being entitled. Take responsibility.

    • ... what? How am I being entitled in any way, or am I complaining about anything in particular, aside from how some girl bring in the double standard to do with blowjobs? I can tell you didn't read much so perhaps refrain from commenting in such cases.

    • You make a statement about not wanting to give a blowjob but you want dinner paid for. The irony is that women want equality. Sounds like equality to me. Lol I am just trolling. But seriously, these girls who feel entitled are very funny. They want equality yet want benefits and to be treated like superiors.

    • hahhaah omggg I was getting a bit worried there! It's not so easy to use sarcasm online, and be sure everyone will catch on. But agreed about how those women who refuse blowjobs or whatever in the name of equality are just creating a whole new double standard through that. :/

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