Sexual Relationships
+1 y

I would still call myself a virgin if I got eaten out or fingered, so what do lesbians consider "losing their virginity"?

What do you consider 'losing your virginity' (if you're straight, bi, gay)? i consider fingering and oral sex to be foreplay, so i have a hard time calling what lesbians do "having sex" unless it's with a dildo... Like there's no defining moment of "wow, I just lost my virginity, I just had sex" it's like "I just got fingered for the first time" or "wow I just got eaten out for the first time" And i know virginity is "just a concept" and "doesn't really exist" or whatever, but I just want to hear other people's veiw on it.
lesbians lose their virginity when they get fingered
Vote A
Lesbians lose their virginity when they get eaten out
Vote B
Lesbians lose their virginity when they touch their vaginas together
Vote C
Lesbians lose their virginty when they use a dildo/strap on/ penis sized toy
Vote D
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guys

  • In this day and age, I don't get why "virginity" is such an important subject or even a consideration for that matter. The only reason "virginity" is a thing is to control people from sexual activity. Making "virginity" a trophy or the thought of being a "pure" person because you are a virgin. It really is bullshit!

    Also, if it is a consideration, it would depend on a personal view of what virginity really means. If from a biological and traditional point of view, virginity means never having "penis into vagina" sexual intercourse. So anyone that is gay/lesbian and such like that or hasn't had this type of sexual activity, is a virgin. However, if you are talking about being a virgin to sexual experience, then if you have been involved in any type of sexual activity, you have lost your virgin card. Gays would say anal virgin card, lez using toys or fingers would consider that they have de-virginized their partner. But it really isn't that important anymore if you ask me as a concept. But, the attitude of having sexual interaction for the first time is probably important to the individual as it's a new and exciting time in one's life.

  • I'm neither a girl nor homosexual but my feeling is that the concept of virginity is probably not so important for lesbians. It might sound weird to some of us heterosexual folks but you could also argue that our culture is totally obsessed with this whole virginity and losing your virginity stuff. I mean, think about it... do you remember the first time you drank coffee? The first time you rode a bike? The first time you went to a party? The first time you performed something in front of an audience? The first time you sat on a plane? The first time a boy saw you naked?
    I don't even remember the first time I fell in love (probably some time in childhood or in my early teens) and that is sometimes considered more important than sex. For some reason, none of these other "first times" seem to matter to people, it's only the first time sex that people get totally obsessed about. So maybe lesbians just tell themselves "hey, whatever. I just had a great, intimate experience. Who cares what I call it?"

Most Helpful Girls

  • Here we go with this nazi-misogynistic nonsense of lesbians needing something like a penis to have their sex considered valid. Dildo is a piece of plastic, not a person part, you don't do sex with plastic and it makes you lose nothing.

    A foreplay isn't a foreplay if is a finishing act, and doesn't come before another act. Oral sex is super orgasmic sex and fingering is someone penetrating a person and stimulating someone on the inside, they both finishing sex acts, and 2000 more effective for reaching orgasm than penis shaped plastic things.

    The sex organ that makes women comes it's the clitoris on the outside, therefore women are built for having the most orgasmic sex without putting things inside, which also mean a female a pussy can have sex with another pussy (and this is the most sex since it's between two sexual organs).

    Lesbian don't lose nothing, they become sexually actives when they have genitalia contact with another body (that can mean oral, fingering and genitalia to genitalia fucking), and sex between females isn't as sex between males and females.

    • Right, but I wouldn't say I lost my virginity when I had my first orgasm, I wouldn't say I lost my virginity the first time I came for oral or fingering, and I'm sure most guys wouldn't call a blowjob "losing their virginity" But you did answer my question, lesbians "lose" their virginity when they become sexually active with someone else. In my opinion it just sucks that they don't really have a defining moment, I personally like knowing that I lost my virginity when I had the standard definition of "sex"

    • They do have a specific moment, it is engaging in sexual activity with a person, but this doesn't mean just one single act like you think, and surely the hetero definition of sex has nothing to do with lesbians.

  • I'm a lesbian, when I had my first time, I lost nothing, just had first time sex activity with a person, not surely with a toy. Specifically Oral sex (that is sex) and clitoris on clitoris sex. The fact that you believe some made in china plastic toy counts more as sex than a person mouth and fingers stimulating your sex organs, because the toy looks like a male part, just show how stupid and phallocentric the concept of virginity many people have is. The way a male and female have sex isn't the only type of sex, and has nothing to do with sex when there are two females parts involved.

    • Good points So you just say you had "a first sexual experience"? Do you say you lost your virginity?

    • I think that's for all, not just for me. You have sex for first time, you're sexually active, I don't say "losing virginity" because is a stupid phrase , merely made by heteros. You gain experience, not lose things.

  • I'm straight but I'd consider someone I did oral and fingering with to be a partner... I lost my V card the old fashioned way and did everything that night, but if I'd only done oral, I wouldn't say I was still a virgin...

    So I don't know what lesbians would think.

    • If you only did oral you would say you lost your virginity? What would you say once you had sex?

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 7

  • I'm straight but I think that for a lesbian to lose her virginity she would have to scissor

    • Thanks for the upvote

  • What constitutes losing your virginity depends on how you define virginity. Some people would say that if you let a guy finger you or go down on you, then you were no longer a virgin, even though he had not penetrated you vaginally. So, define virginity, then you can have a discussion of the issue.

  • good question? I think you lose it when someone else does it to you?

    • Does what to you?

    • I would think, any form of penetration.

  • Well it's either C or D) I think.

    • A, B and C. No lesbian would ever consider a plastic inside more than true sex stimulating by person parts, like oral sex and a woman going inside the vag with her fingers. Just stupid heteros could think so.

  • They don't lose it without natural penetration, otherwise you could say it was losing virginity when she used a dildo on herself (still penetration but no partner involved). Even gay guys do not penetrate each other somewhere that is specifically intended for sexual reproduction.

  • i would say vaginal penetration from Penis, is the natural way.
    So dildo or strap on only is nearly there

  • all my lesbian friends have had sex with men multiple times so yeah lesbians don't exist

    • Then they're not lesbians.

    • @BlueCoyote sorry never met a single gay man or women that has not slept with the opposite gender so Im skeptical to believe people on certain things they say

    • I have a gay friend who has never slept with a girl...

    • Show All

  • I would guess it's the bottom one

  • call it w/e you want... you are not a virgin

    • What? Call what what I want and when could you say you're not a virgin?

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > I would still call myself a virgin if I got eaten out or fingered, so what do lesbians consider "losing their virginity"?