If a child wants to cross dress or even says they want to be the opposite gender what do you consider the appropriate approach?

Question

Conservatives live in a deluded fantasy world where grade school children are forced into unwanted sex changes by their liberal parents or by their schools behind their parents backs.

Transgender children live in a cruel reality where we're routinely disciplined, screamed at, called faggots, and told we're going to hell by our parents and that we have to be something we hate being while becoming something that feels monstrous during puberty.

Obviously proper parenting of a child with gender dysphoria lies somewhere in the middle of this scale. What would your approach be?

SnowedIn · Accepted Answer

If my kids came to me wanting to wear clothes from the opposite gender I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Heck, my daughter's entire wardrobe save one Christmas dress is hoodies and baggy jeans, so I think we're already there. Although she didn't do that because those are "boy" clothes. For clothes, I wouldn't bat an eye. Kids try all sorts of weird things. I would tell them I'm not paying for those clothes until whatever "normal" periodicity for new clothes is. If they want to start wearing [fill in the blank], feel free to pay for it. Clothes are never, ever, ever the hill to die on with very few exceptions.

As for wanting to be the opposite gender, first I'd reassure them that their place in our home and my/our love for them is unconditional and unconnected to anything related to gender, etc. We love them. But, we'd talk. A lot. Genuine conversation with listening both ways. Kids don't know everything and they lack a lot of life experience and have even less concept of consequences and real world truth. That's a function of age, not me dissing them. So, we'd talk, a lot. If they can articulate it and it's not just a phase, fad, or fancy, we can start going down some other roads. Bottom line: I'll validate their feelings and let them explore those feelings, but we're not going to make drastic decisions while their brains are awash in hormones and the influences from friends, school, society, and the internet are bombarding them. We're going to talk our way through this. And there's one of life's lessons: if you think you're old enough to make a decision regarding your gender, you're old enough to talk it out and reason it through.

josephinelcajon · Accepted Answer

Growing up we explore everything, and I do mean everything! Some (I feel a majority) try things out like dressing up or playing "doctor". Most know what they are but by exploring reaffirms them. This happens not just once but several times throughout childhood and adolescence. I feel it is important to allow and reassure them this is OK BUT should NEVER be encouraged! Allowing and putting ideas into their heads is two much different things! I would fully support them in THIER ideas dreams and decisions!

Anemone978 · Accepted Answer

Just tell them no you are a girl or whatever they actually are and move on... this stuff is just bs. When I was a kid I wanted to be a boy it didn't actually mean I wanted to transition or anything... its just dumb kid stuff...

Irishgirl02 · Accepted Answer

If a child wants to eat chocolate for breakfast do you let it?

integrale77 · Answer

I'd just stick with buying clothes that are somewhat gender neutral and let them make decisions closer to 18

Berethor · Answer

Girl cross dressing is fairly socially accepted, I would not want my son to dress like a girl.

Reece12345 · Answer

I'm all for it. I'd have to have a talk with them about the bullies. They live for hurting people, as they did me.

Summeroflove · Answer

It’s grooming. Plus many kids go through stages of wishing they were the opposite sex. The grass is always greener on the other side.

Both sexes in this world also have advantages and disadvantages by society. It sucks. But it is what it is.

misogynistic_pig · Answer

When the child reaches the point of expressing that he wants to dress as a woman, the case is usually lost and there is nothing to do.

Mac-One · Answer

As For clothes; girls can already wear any clothing of their choice and have it be accepted as normal so boys should also be able to do the same. So, let them both wear the clothing of their choice but don't force them into the opposite gender roll.

Juxtapose · Answer

They sure as hell are not making any permanent changes until they are 18 and that is that.

DerkR · Answer

Honestly I wouldn't know what to do, if I had an adult son who decided to be trans I would respect and love him the same way, but when he's a child it's something difficult to find a solution. What would you suggest?

billluc69 · Answer

let them try it for a while

Anonymous · Answer

Children don't have the maturity or mental capacity to even understand what cross dressing is, and what the implications are for their lives. A person's brain isn't even fully developed until age 25.

Children have amazing imaginations. I have watched my niece many times pretending to be all sorts of different things and characters that she finds fascinating in her mind. But letting her pretend to be a polar bear doesn't mean she will ever be one, or want to be one, as an adult.

Allowing a child to make decisions about their sexual orientation when they are too young and unwise to understand the long term implications is insane. I think a parent needs to carefully guide a child to make good choices that will not lead them to regrettable circumstances later in their lives.

If a child wants to cross dress or even says they want to be the opposite gender what do you consider the appropriate approach?

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