Sexual Relationships
+1 y

If a guy can't get an erection does it mean he's cheating?

We all know that men go through a resolution stage after an orgasm and it can take a while to recharge. Do you ever suspect on those days a guy struggles to get an erection that he may have recently orgasmed with another woman and not yet recovered?
Guys should we be suspicious or is it a case you've just had a wank. Like snacking on biscuits and spoiling your dinner?
Updates:
+1 y
Interesting that men feel the need to deny it. The guy's doth protest too much, methinks
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Sometimes it's having masturbated earlier, sometimes it's simply performance anxiety. Diet can play into that as well as age, and how much water and salt you have each day. Blood pressure, and the muscle contraction needed to get an erection in the first place.

    It doesn't mean he's cheating, honestly the recharge time is more a thing of desire vs. comfort, when I'm sleeping with someone new, or have two women my recharge time is zero because of how excited I am.

    With one established person, there are nights I might feel obligated to have sex and start out like a noodle because I just don't feel excited and have to hype myself up. It isn't the woman I'm with, that's 100% me, I want to please her a lot, but just don't feel much desire on my end. Hence the performance anxiety. Diet and dehydration play in as well, if I'm not hydrated I noticed over the years the sex isn't as intense, and neither is the orgasm, same with having a poor diet. Not enough salt, protein, electrolytes, low blood pressure, plays out from there.

    From what I understand the opposite can happen to overweight men with high blood pressure, the heart is pushing hard, but the difference between diastolic and systolic pressure is too great to maintain an erection, the blood just rushes out. Enter viagra and nitrate heart attacks.

  • Most of the time men have trouble getting an erection, it's because they are stressed or exhausted. If they have a stressful job, are in debt, have family drama, have a sick relative or child, under a deadline, etc., that's far more likely to be the reason.

    Now, it's true that if you just got yourself off or just had sex, you could struggle as well. Some guys can "reload" very quickly, and some guys need a couple of hours, and some are only good for one a day, so it depends on the guy, and also his stress and hormone levels, etc.

    What I'm really saying is that this isn't a very reliable indicator. It's a small piece of evidence that is meaningless without more context.

Most Helpful Girls

  • it's not that easy to accuse or say... often when my boyfriend I do my best to ease his mind and not pressure him... just tell him to relax or sit back and presto but without pushing him... telling him not to worry is the best thing once you tell him you need an erection it's the worst thing you can do... and no I don't think it's because he has a girlfriend... in theory a man can do it often as he wants or needs to.

  • I've had that happen in my sex life and I've thought it might be stress, insecurity, the fact that he just did with me, that he masturbated earlier and even that he just wasn't attracted to me anymore, but never once have I assumed it was because he was cheating.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 46

  • There's a really funny video about that but I can't find it. A girl starts getting all lovey dovey with her boyfriend but he doesn't respond. Then she goes off and starts saying all kinds of things, accusing him of this and that, and acting like a martyr. Finally, the guy explains that she hadn't been interested earlier so he just finished taking care of himself. The video was well done and actually hilarious.

  • It’s really not something to get suspicious over in my opinion. Sometimes dudes just aren’t into it for whatever reason. We aren’t horny 24/7 when we are getting regular sex.

  • The resolution stage isn't much longer than 30 minutes. It seems impossible to me that you don't know that. What the hell is going on in your sex life? Plus it's worth mentioning that sometimes guys will jerk off before date just so that they can get it up later and keep it up later.

  • Not at all. He could have medical problem

  • not really, from experience with stress, depression and medication it could simply mean something as simple as he's got a lot going on, doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating though... my cousin used to cheat on each girlfriend he was with at the time... he'd still have sex with teh ones he was cheating on and some of them never suspected anything... which is one of the things i hated about him cos he was lying so much to each of them and could never keep to one girlfriend

  • most likely been wanking i think

  • That can be one of a long list of causes.

  • At your age it’s more likely an addiction to porn. It’s so addictive it can make it so a guy can’t perform with a normal woman at all. It’s called porn creep or porn induced erectile dysfunction. When I was your age I only needed maybe 5 minutes recovery time and I was ready again even after three sessions

  • It happens to me when I have masturbated a lot that morning and didn't expect sex later. It could be because I am tired. Could be stress. Usually if I get in a fight earlier in the day and we try for makeup sex i can't become erect because I am upset. Sooo many reasons. Wrong to deny a man may not be intobit just as it is to demand a woman fuck on command.

  • Nope this is brainwashed female talk

  • Could be so damn hung-over after blowing in a cow that he doesn’t remember or want to, and it doesn’t work anymore. But certainly not cheating… “Where is the trust?” JN

  • Yes. Yes it does! That or he's addicted to porn. 🙄

    Been there. There's a new diagnosis for this: it's called PIED, Porn-induced Erectile Dysfunction.

  • Of course it could be one possible explanation, although cheating would likely leave more glaring clues-- men don't usually cover their tracks as well as women can. But there are many other reasons a guy can lose an erection, it could even be as simple as food he consumed in the last 24 hours, or something on his mind distracting him. You can't assume he's cheating JUST because he can't get hard, you need other supporting evidence.

  • Could also be whisky dick, drugs or even stress related

  • My situation would be i just masturbated if that were the case

  • It's a higher chance it was a wank.

  • Yes you're guy is cheating on you because he can't get erections

  • There are LOTS of reasons a guy couldn't get it up, only ONE of which is he hasn't recharged yet from a previous ejaculation. Others are too much alcohol or other drugs, stress, being too tired, being too pre-occupied with something else, feeling depressed, or just not being turned on by the girl at that moment.

  • maybe, but not necessarily.

  • He could have just masterbated.
    He could have erectile dysfunction.
    He could be stressed from work and or school
    Worried about sick kids.
    Family drama.
    Not in the mood.
    Not feeling well.

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