If a hot guy approaches you at a party, does he do it cause he thinks your an easy lay or because he is attracted?

[Anonymous]

I've wondered for quite a while. I've had some attractive guys coming up talking to me and being interested. But do they even find me attractive or just try to score a chick no matter what her looks are (like think oh she's average she'll definitly be flattered if I, hottie, hit on her, pussy score :P? I never know if I'm supposed to react seriously as I assume they just think I'm easy lay. (which is the opposite and it's not like I act insecure). So what's your theory on this? :)

[pnl86]

I don't really understand how this is an XOR question: "either A or B, but not both A and B."

If a girl is not attractive, then a guy is not going to approach her, period.

Plus, are you saying that guys are not looking to get p***y from girls that are actually attractive?

That's such a "forced question" designed to elicit just the answer that you want to hear so you can comfort your own agenda or insecurity in your head. It's so out of touch with reality that it's barely worth commenting on.

If a guy wants up to a girl, right off the bat, that means he finds her attractive. It's not worth his time, his effort, or the social risk of being embarrassed socially and internally taking a hit to his self-esteem... unless the girl is attractive.

Considering the "costs" of approaching a complete female stranger, the "benefits" have to at least "equal" the costs in order for him to be "indifferent" between "action" and "inaction."

So, again, he's not going to put himself out there and "risk" being rejected by some ugly chick, and have to look at himself in the mirror (and look at his friends) and identify himself as the guy who got rejected "by that freak show." Why would any guy do that to himself? For p***y? Please. At some point, guys would rather jerk off. There are limits to how low even the most desperate guys would go, and it's not that low.

Now, if a guy finds a girl attractive, that doesn't mean he wants to marry her, have babies with her, be in a long-term relationship with her, or even wake up next to her the next morning. That just means he wants to fuck her. But... him wanting to fuck her also does not mean that he "JUST" wants to fuck her ONLY (i. e., as in, nothing else but just sex).

Maybe he wants to fuck her... and is open to other things too. Who knows? Better question, how the hell should "HE" know? All he knows about her is how she looks. It's not like each girl is doing stand-up comedy, or playing a musical instrument at a Julliard performance, or defending her PhD thesis dissertation... and allowing him to think anything other than "Wow, she looks good, I would totally fuck her."

Again, there's nothing WRONG or BAD with that. That's NORMAL. It's NATURAL. Doesn't mean that guy or men in general ONLY WANT SEX. It just means, that's the ONLY INFORMATION AVAILABLE TO A GUY (i. e., his only basis of evaluating a girl... based on uniform female silence and feigned indifference).

[pnl86]

"I want to fuck you" does not mean "I JUST/ONLY want to fuck you, and NOTHING ELSE."

[MrOracle]

Honestly, it could be either or both. Some guys are pussy hounds and will go after it anywhere they think they're likely to get it. Other guys are looking for something more serious. Some are looking for something more serious, but are only interested if the girl is attractive.

Even the same guy can go through phases where he's just looking to get laid or where he's just looking for a great girl to spend quality time with. Bottom line - it's up to YOU, as the girl, to play "goalie" and defend that pussy from the undesirables. Know going in that, on average, 90% of guys you meet are just looking for sex, so your "filtering system", if it's effective, will be dismissing 90% of guys. If you're only dismissing, say, 50% of guys, your filter sucks, and you're going to get used.

Set your bar higher and don't give it up unless YOU want to (and in most cases, not until you are in a committed relationship).

[Asker]

Thanks for your comment :) though I've always assumed guys just wanted sex, I've mistaken them a lot. Once a guy I kissed with a couple of times, he was in fact a player, had fallen for me when I just saw it as fun and nothing more (cause I alwayd thought he only was playing me and wanted sex) :/

[MrOracle]

It's safe to assume that all guys want sex (yes, there are a handful of exceptions) - the question is: do they want anything in addition to "just sex"? The majority of them will not, but some percentage will, and it's up to you to sort them out. Not having sex outside of a relationship is the single most effective method of filtering them out.

[Kiwedin]

It can be both. I have a lot of guy friends and it really does go either way. Some guys feel more brave after they have a drink or two and go after the girl they really like, and some just go after the girls they think are easy and somewhat attractive so they can get laid. It's kind of easy to tell though, a guy who's really into you, won't get too drunk because they don't want to act like a loser in front of you and they also don't want to be super drunk when they tell you that they like you or if you tell them that you like them, etc. He'll be more interested in conversation than he will be about groping you. A guy who wants to hook up will be more physical, by dancing with you, putting his hands on you, and making a little conversation, but not too much. At least that's what I've noticed from observation and experience, I could be wrong though lol.

[Betwyn]

Does it happen outside of parties?

If you're only getting approached there, I'd lean towards them looking to score.

If you get approached outside of parties/clubs, then I'd lean towards they are attracted/interested

[Asker]

I get hit on more often at parties than in real life, but reguraly I get told I'm pretty. But most guys I meet actually want to get to know me. It's just I always assume they want sex and act somehwat hostile at first :)

[Betwyn]

Then I think most of them are prolly legit.. they might be hoping for a bit a both.. actually interested.. and hoping your dtf right away. If they strike your fancy, take them seriously.. if they are just looking for a quick score, and that isn't who you are, it will sort itself out pretty quick

[LittleSally]

Good question. I'm not sure. I suppose it depends on the guy and the girl - what kind of a vibe is she sending out...

You're really pretty and have insane hair... so I bet they just think you're attractive. =)

[Mattttttt]

It could be either and it depends how drunk they are the more drunk the more an anything will do attitude comes in

[Asker]

Yeah seems legit!

[Faulty]

Guarantee he just wants to fuck you and then toss you knowing current society and my disgust for it...

[Asker]

Now that seems a bit too much :/

[Justinlovewithlove]

I'm glad that you have a profile photo. Because at first, i would have said it could be anything. Getting approached at a party's so common. Parties are where guys practice their pick up skills. Some guys try to approach as many girls as possible no matter how they look like ugly/fat/attractive/hot. So when you are a girl, it's hard to tell if a guy is genuinely attracted and interested or just playing around and testing something on you. Many girls became bitter and more insecure because of this and it's also why they tend to coldly dismiss some guys who put on some effort to approach them. Even though the guy puts himself out there, they still think he's unattainable and get resentful or bitter before he even gets to introduce himself. It's all insecurities. I should blame both girls and guys though. Girls for being insecure and guys for not being serious (I should note that guys want to practice with other girls for the one they really like) But i voted (thinks the girl is attractive) because you don't look like a girl that somebody will hit on and thinking she's average or ugly.

[electrollama]

Why would anyone want to have sex with someone they don't find attractive? I'd say, "because she's the most attractive person here that seems to be available, or that I feel comfortable talking to."

[Asker]

Cause I've read and heard of guys that will go for average/insecure/easy going girls as hot/attractive girls won't take the bait.

[driel]

I have definitely pulled that move when I was younger where I just wanted to hook up with someone at a party then I would look for someone who I thought would be most willing. I didn't bother with going after 10s because there were already guys just fighting over them.

Other times I would start talking with a girl who was attractive but I just wanted to talk to get to know them. This is what I do these days since I'd rather get to know someone and see if there's a possible connection than just go for the physical payout right out the gate. I don't really know if that answered your question lol :D

[Asker]

Okay thanks! How would you tell a girl would be willing?

[driel]

You could tell how some girls were a little friendlier than others over the course of the night and if they were making eyes with me, I knew there was a good chance I could get somewhere with them. Most of the time I was right.

[Prilee1992]

Honestly, I'll open my mouth approaching her when I found her very attractive. Whether getting laid or not, is another question, I want to see her what she's made of! More saddening case is that night i will go back and use my hands lol

[Asker]

Hahaha, okay thanks!

[ashley243]

usually guys do it because they think the girl is both attractive AND easy.

yup, sad truth

[JuicyBrain]

In my opinion, she has to be attractive. Super attractive? no. Just attractive enough. I'll go talk to her. What happens happens. Sometimes, it might be just to have a good discussion. I am actually interested in more than just your flesh gals.

But I am not all guys. A lot among us are assholes who don't care about other people and just look for their own gratification. Those are generally the ones who get laid the most damnit !

[Asker]

Haha thanks for your opinion!

[JuicyBrain]

How about you don't assume anything and just see where it leads? Yeah, sure, we mostly want to have sex with you if you are attractive, but that's just after seeing what you look like. They know nothing about you yet. Their outlook may change while they talk with you. You can't really look at a girl and say to yourself, I am going to marry her so I should talk to her right now. Of course not. You would never marry someone based on their look. On the other hand, all that is required for sex is looks. So I guess we go for it and if we discover there is something more available, we may very well go for it.

[KempisMC]

He could also think she both ,
Generalizing on what guys think serves no purpose, it helps to perpetuate stereotypes
the same is true for women,

There are ways to find out , but its just through conversation and it would apply only to that guy, because maybe the next guy will be different.

A guy is always willing to have sex , if offered after he walked over to you , but it doesn't mean he came there for that.

Its not as if you can say ( to trick him) Hey you're hot , I was just looking to find a hot guy to have sex and think he will say no WAY , mind you some guys will say no , but the majority will not.

[Asker]

Yes wise words thank you :) so is it somewhat safe to say if a guy wants to get to know you, he might be interested not in just sex?

[ixi10]

Or he's just being friendly...

[ThisDudeHere]

It can literally be either. There is no way to know.

[Asker]

Hmm kay thanks ;)

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Well, most hot guys aren't looking for real love, now you have pussy to offer they will take that with no problems ,,

[slatyb]

Depends on the guy. We're not all the same. I've never been interested in easy sex. If I approach a woman, it's because I have some admiration and interest in a serious relationship.

[Asker]

Thanks for your input :)

[TripleAce]

Depends the guy, some may like you for real and some just see it as a numbers game to get in bed with a sugar fluff like yourself

[Asker]

Haha sugar fluff? :P okay... Haha thanks for your input

[abundantlyrich]

If he keeps his eyes at me. I'll slap the fuck out of him. He deserved it

[Johnyk]

I think both. Guys are attracted as well as think that the girl is approachable. Anyway, guys are not usually interested in unapproachable girls and rather think of them as waste of time and effort.

[vasilisgr]

you know the answer: depends on situation.

Sometimes a guy just want to measure his strength. Generally who talks with you likes you. You keep a conversation and with a few questions you will know who's in frond of you.

[Asker]

So it's safe to assume if a guy talks to you, wants to get to know you , there might be more at play than he wants to get simply laid? :)

[vasilisgr]

yes. to put it differently, If a guy talks to you, he generally likes you. From the talk he expects to discover if you are an easy laid, or what.

[KempisMC]

From the talk , he expect to discover if you are an easy lay , OMG , either you are trying to be funny or saying because that's what you do , a real worthy man doesn't expect to discover that , I don't believe your statement we are in the same age group and what you said is BS

[oldanddecrepid]

If I though the girl was attractive... I would approach not with the intent of sex, but just to see if she can talk!

If she can't string to words together to make a conversation, then I would just get turned off, no matter how attractive she is.

[DisastrousQu33n]

You're above average looking, so they're probably attracted in most cases.

[Anpu23]

Most guys will approach a girl who they see something that interests them. Usually it's not just about the lay, something caught their eye.

[jokery56]

I wish there was a "both" option. As the night goes on and depending on the level of intoxication it goes from "ooo she is cuite and seems cool" to "oo she has breast let me hump her"

[Asker]

Due to internet troubles I was unable to add more options to the poll. I gave up trying after a couple of times and just posted the question. But you are right there isn't really an answer I guess. But isn't it funny most girls are also thinking guys mainly want sex from them. So there is a bit of a miscommunication going on.

[jokery56]

Well their judgement is because some guys want that. When it comes down to it, ladies should be flattered that theu are found attractive but that doesn't mean the guy should get what they want or anything like that.

[GrooveSick]

It can be both really. Not every 'hot guy' is the same

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Why not uh ask him

[ThatBritishLad]

I don't know. Try asking him.

[Asker]

Haha I could, but wouldn't that ruin the atmosphere? :P

[takumii]

or maybe he just wants to tell you how messed up your hair looks :P

[Asker]

Hahaha good one ;)

[James19]

There can be various reasons like : no one to talk to but you , maybe you look friendly not quarrelsome, maybe you have comfortable vibes around you etc. Apart from the two options you gave the are still many more probabilities.

[MarkTwain]

either way he is just trying to pussy score

[jamesdegod]

it really depends, i will normally look for the hottest girl at the party, but when im drunk i might go for an average chick since they r easy

[Asker]

Okay thanks for your honesty :)

[Nikki33]

Have you seen the movie "Crazy, Stupid Love"? Because this movie shows that it can go both ways. But if you should really get to know the guy so that you can make your decision yourself. But you should also take his number and give yours.

[Anonymous]

Could be either or could be both. I was a frat guy and used to approach girls at parties for a variety of reasons. I thought she would be interesting to talk to, she looked cute, she seemed like she wasn't having fun, I just felt like flirting with someone, I was feeling depressed and hoped chatting with someone would get my mind of the sadness, the party was blah and I want to get more people relaxed, I was just giving out booze for the fun of it, I hadn't flexed my flirting skills in a while and just wanted to check, she looked sad and could use a fun convo and many more. Surprisingly I rarely talked to girls for the sole purpose of getting laid usually that just flows later if she seemed interested. I've always found guys that do that to be annoying so I never did it. that may have been what they wanted but there's an equally large chance that it wasn't thier motivation.

[Anonymous]

Well, is she ACTUALLY easy?

[Asker]

I am not. And I think most decent girls aren't ;)

[Opinion Owner]

Then it shouldn't matter now, should it

[Anonymous]

Don't assume anything. Find out his intentions first. He will show you with his actions eventually. There are some men who make bets to see who they can have sex with and some men will have sex with a girl no matter what she looks like

[Anonymous]

He Wants Your Pussy First, If He Gets Pussy, And All Goes Well He May Become Attracted To You And Want You For More Than Pussy!

[Anonymous]

People need to understand being good looking and being attractive are different things, he may think you aren't good looking, but will still be sexualy attracted to you.

[Asker]

I don't see how they are two different things, perhpas you could explain to me?

[Opinion Owner]

A guy can look at a girl, think she isn't good looking at all, but still want to put his dick in her, that means he is sexually attracted to her. He doesn't think she is ugly, just not good looking. Average looking is enough to attract a large portion of men sexually, it's not about finding the easiest lay in the room.

[Anonymous]

I think people deliberately go in trying not to have "a plan."

It's being attracted both of those things? I doubt someone would only approach you for sex because that just sounds like boring work. Why can't I (and wouldn't I rather) want to have sex with someone who seems cool and nice? On the other hand it's not like I'm immediately enamored and want to know every little detail about you so I can plan our wedding before we have sex. I want to have fun with you, wherever that leads.

I see these "is it just sex or does he like me" questions (although this isn't exactly one of those) and I feel like you're just thinking about it wrong because that's not what's going through a guy's mind. I don't think putting work into having sex with someone we don't really like makes any sense at all, it sounds boring and unsatisfying. "Scoring"? I don't think so, sounds dumb. Doesn't sound like a "score" to me, we want to have sex with girls we're actually attracted to, and obviously there's some sexual attraction involved if you're approaching someone you've not really spoken to before.

You'll only create problems by over-simplifying things.

[Anonymous]

My brother is so fucking handsome, his eyes are so blue, his face is so perfect, his body is good, but he don't leave the house for anything and he is ashamed to talk with girls or when girls talk with him but he wanted them, lol.

[driel]

bring girls home to him, he needs practice talking with women even if in regular everyday conversations

[Asker]

Aw :/ hopefully one day at least he'll be able to get over his anxiety!

[Anonymous]

Why do those two things have to be exclusive?

[Asker]

Because of internet failure I couldn't add another poll answer :0 really I'm not joking that's what happened. After having tried a couple times I just gave up to try and add one.