If a man has a strong emotional connection to a woman will he be even hornier for her than if it's only a physical attraction?

[DermalPunch]

[HighlyVolatile]

There's something that makes a world of difference to me and makes sex 100 times better, and I've only had that with two women in my life among many more (I married the second one).

I would say it's a type of emotional connection but one unique to the bedroom. In my case, I had an emotional connection outside the bedroom with all my exes. We had great conversations, great fun on dates, but the connection flatlined in bed.

It might be more like "sexual compatibility". For example, I'm extremely vanilla, so sometimes I'd have a strong emotional connection with a girlfriend outside the bedroom, but she'd become all kinky and want me to do all sorts of things to her like choke her or smack her or start teasing me and playing games with me in bed.

Then I'd lose the feeling that we're so connected, and be left with a thought like, "Who are you? I want the girl I was dating back. You are acting like someone I barely recognize."

With my wife (the second one with whom I had such compatibility and connection in the bedroom), she stayed the same person as I perceived her both in and outside the bedroom. So that allowed all the feelings and cravings towards her I had built up to contribute to my desire for her in the bedroom.

[HighlyVolatile]

The number one killer of that sort of connection for me was this transformation of character. Some women act so differently in sexual contexts than outside, and that killed the desire I had built up for them because I didn't recognize them with the way they acted inside. You know, "a lady on the streets and a freak in the sheets." Most of my exes were like that, and I didn't actually like that since I'm not a freak in the sheets. What I found most compatible with me for the emotional connection to remain is a "lady both on the streets and in the sheets."

[HighlyVolatile]

... or at least second best to me is a "freak on the streets and a freak in the sheets." At least that woman's character would stay the same in the bedroom and not change on me and cause me to lose all but the most basic physical desire I built up for her.

[DermalPunch]

She isn't changing she is just showing you all of her. I can't stand it when a man devalues a woman whose shown her devotion because she wants to let him have her completely in a sexual context. It's an honour. Perhaps you should adjust your perception.

[HighlyVolatile]

Well, I never broke up with them over something like that. Yet I'm too vanilla, I think. For me, the way I perceive sex is like a most intimate conversation. It's the last place where I want people to put on an act and pretend like someone completely different. I think people who don't have such strong preferences in the bedroom probably just enjoy sex on a basic physical level, like hard dicks pounding wet pussies. I always saw it as a far more abstract and poetic type of thing revolving around minds being so connected. So I can't help but feel disconnected if a girl shows me a totally different side of her that seems so unlike who she was on our dates. This doesn't feel like the same person to me.

[HighlyVolatile]

This might help to explain it. I think only a small percentage of women match with this: == Results from bdsmtest. org == 97% Dominant 73% Vanilla 67% Daddy/Mommy 54% Voyeur 45% Owner 42% Experimentalist 37% Exhibitionist 35% Brat tamer 34% Master/Mistress 31% Primal (Hunter) 16% Ageplayer 1% Rigger 1% Brat 1% Non-monogamist 0% Rope bunny 0% Slave 0% Degradee 0% Boy/Girl 0% Primal (Prey) 0% Submissive 0% Masochist 0% Degrader 0% Pet 0% Sadist 0% Switch I think most guys are far more balanced and able to enjoy a much wider range of sexual activities including kinky stuff, BDSM, roleplaying, fetishes, both submission and dominance, etc. I'm very narrow and limited that way. It makes a world of difference to be with a woman who is compatible with me in this sense.

[DermalPunch]

People are multi faceted. Also, I think some women think they need to be pornstars and impress their partner and they aren't really that kinky. Maybe they are putting on an act and you are picking up on it.

[DermalPunch]

Oh i see.

[DermalPunch]

I think got 100% switch for that and rope bunny was wayyy up there. I was high on brat too.

[HighlyVolatile]

I sometimes got that impression like they were trying to make me happy thinking men were into that although I'd tell them what I'd like and didn't like and they kept wanting to act that way. Again I never broke up with them over something like this. I just didn't enjoy sex with them much more than masturbation. It felt disconnected and empty to me although I loved cuddling with them, going on dates with them, talking to them all night long. It felt almost entirely physical. With my wife, it goes far, far, far beyond physical in nature. It feels like the type of conversation where your minds are so connected that you can complete each other's sentences.

[HighlyVolatile]

I might be an oddity but I still see sex mostly in a very romantic way, sort of like steamy romantic films and much less like pornography. A lot of guys have teased me for it on this site as well as some of my friends. I'm not at all into sexting, for example (too lewd). I did love all my exes though even though I didn't enjoy sex nearly as much. I wanted to marry some of them even though it didn't work out in the end. It's just that with my third girlfriend, there was something there in the bedroom that seemed almost magical. For example, we tried to kiss each other at the exact same time while I was on top of her and be bumped heads and laughed. Then we both asked each other if we were all right at the same time. That might not sound so romantic or sexy to most people but I felt so connected, almost like we could read each other's minds. It was a similar thing with my wife many years later.

[MysticDevice]

Oh absolutely. With a strong emotional connection I simply couldn't keep my eyes and hands off my last girlfriend. She had no complaints about it either.

[PhoenixAl]

Much more. Sex is on another level when feelings are involved.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

I think so, yes.

[summiter]

I think so because sex can be so intimate. Either way the orgasms are fantastic. What do you think?

[AviatorTom]

Usually, yes!

[n4meAL]

for me yes because that's my goal (looking for an emotionally attached partner), but maybe there are some guys who think no.

I see some old men who have wives often flirt with other women.

[bowenw]

Yes, having an emotional and physical attraction will do that.

[FilmGuy93]

Yes, usually.

[megabamse]

Oh yes, absolutely

[MrtoddsWildRide]

Very much so

[Massageman]

Definitely. Yes. Oui. Si. Dah. Nai. Hai. Tak. Da.

[clampfan101]

It will certainly mean much more in at least some ways.

[jahaims]

For sure

[KostasKouvalis]

Haven't experienced this with a few women, I can confirm YES

[Likes2drive]

Probably yeah, makes sense

[Godsvengeance]

Absolutely yes

[Shamalien]

100%

[Nigjt]

For me yes very much so.
God Bless

[msc545]

He certainly will be, but be aware that along with that emotional connection goes the inherent potential for heartbreak for both parties - it is unavoidable.

[Jouth]

I will

[Amur8711]

Yes!

[MoroEx]

In general, I deal with all women romantically in bed, but if I have a sexual relationship with a girl with whom I have an emotional relationship, I will treat her with more romance and more tenderness and sleep with her gently until she reaches her orgasm. In summary, I will treat her like an angel and enjoy our moment with passion.