If I am uncomfortable with my boyfriend watching porn and talks to him about it, and he gets defensive and says he won't stop watching it?

[Anonymous]

Was I disrespectful? Or he was? Am I wrong to feel this way?

He told me he watches porn 3 times a week, which I consider to be a lot

[qwert1234]

For me, it's ok for someone in a relationship to watch porn as long as it does not interfere with your relationship (ie: choosing porn over real sex).

It's also ok for you to feel that way. Maybe you are grossed out, insecure, just don't like a partner who watches porn, etc - it's ok.

Personally, 3x a week is an ok number, really low if you ask me. I would be ok if my girlfriend does that. But in your case, since you are uncomfortable, maybe talk with a compromise? If you really are uncomfortable, ask yourself if you can stand this long-term. If you can't, maybe he's not the one for you due to compatibility reasons.

[PenkWing]

You don’t have a title over what your boyfriend does as long as it doesn’t affect you. Watching porn doesn’t affect you in any clear way.

It’s normal for people to want to masturbate even when they are in a relationship, and porn is usually considered a masturbation aid. Many of us grew up with some habits in regards to masturbation and we consider it personal. How and when I masturbate is about myself and not my partner or anyone else. This is all normal and healthy and if anything my partners cheer me.

Good news is that if you also need some personal space for any reason, be it masturbation or anything else, you can also do it.

[Rob70]

Better that he watches porn than be with another girl. On the other hand porn gives a lot of false ideas about sex. I don't know many people that have sex like you see in porn. Why does he watch it. Is there something he wants but is afraid to ask you for? What type porn is he watching? Those are a few of the questions you should ask him. If it really bothers you and he won't stop maybe you should end the relationship

[janky1]

He might be trying to convince himself of what he likes...

[Twalli]

Does he ever choose porn over sex with you? That's how you determine if it's too much. Pretty much every guy watches porn. It's only an issue if he picks that over sex ccx withnyou.

[B4852]

If he got defensive like that there's a problem.

[Pepsiman23]

So my ex girlfriend had a big problem with me watching porn and thought it was cheating. I can see her point but I disagree with it because watching porn is an addiction. It’s not like I thought any of those girls were hotter than her

[Evan97]

No, it's not unreasonable for you to have a problem with that

[Anonymous]

In my opinion that is disrespectful and immature from him. He should be able to keep his attention on his girlfriend and not be distracted by some random woman from a pornographic video.

Generally people get defensive about stuff that is either important to them (red flag, porn being equally/more important that his girlfriend), that they feel insecure about, that they are addicted to (the same way you can't take cigarettes away from a smokers), or that they are ashamed of (ie. trying to convince themselves it is fine by bring overly defensive/shouting).

Either way if he is not even willing to stop/limit doing something as meaningless as watching porn for your sake, I wouldn't imagine he would compromise/back off from more serious topics.

I mean isn't relationship about mutual respect and not making the other person uncomfortable but rather making them feel safe? I would have the TALK with him about his preferences and why he doesn't want to quit his porn addiction.

[Anonymous]

That isn't really a lot for someone in your age group in this day and age. You're projecting your dislike for porn on to him.