If you find your friend sexually attractive/ think they are cute and you care for them... is it safe to say that you like them?

[Anonymous]

so my guy friend and i have had sex twice.

he says he trusts me a lot and that he cares for me. he would kiss my hands and cheeks when saying this. he also said i was cute and that he sees my work i do in school and that its great.

we’ve had sex twice.

he’s also starting work w me next week. he told me to get him a job there!

[IamStag]

It is never safe to like anyone if you are afraid to loose it. I had some friends with benefits, we never had problem. And as it turned out, when I started to date the girl I now call wife, she became not just a 'lover', buy also my best friend. That alone could save our relationship many times before.

[Asker]

wow that sounds nice. based on my situation whats going on? im really confused

[IamStag]

I day just follow your heart. If he is your friend, it doesn't matter how long it takes. He may easily fall in proper love with you.

[Asker]

do you think he feels something?

[IamStag]

obviously, or he wouldn't care about you. Ask yourself, do you already act as a couple?

[Asker]

not really. i mean he texts me once in a while but not really. i just know that he's to start working with me next week. and he asked what days i work and stuff. during the summer he was elsewhere and he asked me if i had hooked up with anyone and stuff. he asked me that again as we were kissing that night. he's complicated tho. after me he would sleep with other chicks and talk to his ex and stuff. i know bc the ex would tell me. i was even in a group chat he made with his ex and him and he’d only flirt with her and stuff but would call us pretty chicks and stuff. anywho he randomly told me that he deleted his ex off snapchat and he’s over hooking up with chicks and rejecting them. he told me that in the car... i was looking the other way so I don't know if he knew i was listening... he texted me days later and told me the same thing... that he's just not into hookups and rejecting chicks... but after he told me he was with a chick in the bathroom really drunk on new years and that he doesn’t remember what happened... im just confused

[Asker]

his ex showed me a chat with him saying he's over her tho and that he doesny desire her anymore... I don't know what that was...

[IamStag]

it means he still wants to feel independent. you should work through your feelings. does it bother you knowing him with other girls? would you also date others?

[Asker]

yeah it does bother me. it bothers me bc he's just very confusing in general. i know he cares about me at least in a friend way. during the summer he was in a compleatly different country and i went out with a friend to meet another guy (also our friend) even tho he would talk to his ex and stuff he messaged me saying “oh you go out too much hahaa jk have fun” as i posted drinks. lol 4 hours later... 4 am here and 2 pm where he was at. he texts me but i dont reply then he texts my friend to take good care of me. i opened the message and he just texts “whats up?” ...

[Asker]

i know he cares about me. his ex said that he either cares about someone or doesn't care at all. but im confused on what part he cares for me... just as friends? lovers maybe?

[IamStag]

this is the way. eventually he will act more adult. I would say don't force anything. Enjoy your time, and life will bring everything you need as soon as you let it flow.

[Asker]

yeah i dont force anything at all. in fact i let him do the talking. i dont ask him “oh you met anyone” or anything.. he just tells me

[Asker]

do you think there are feelings from his part?

[Asker]

is there any way of knowing based on what I've told you?

[IamStag]

maybe you can sit down with him and talk through this all. don't worry to open up your feelings. if he is the right partner, it helps. if not, it also helps to get back on track faster :)

[Asker]

thats scary! especially because he's a close friend AND he's gonna start working with me lol

[Asker]

is there no way of knowing? i feel like he doesn't have feelings for me. can a guy be sexually attracted with someone he cares about and not have a crush on them!

[Asker]

?******

[IamStag]

absolutely. I had some partners with sexual attraction but without crush, and the same I can tell you about the partners. They had fun with me but nothing serious. Sex can be a cure for body, while having crush is merely a heart topic.

[Asker]

did you also care about then and trust them?

[Asker]

that night we had sex he kept telling me that he cared while holding my hands and kissing them. he even suggested i sleep on another bed if i wasn't comfortable.

[Asker]

i told him i cared and he said “you do? what?” lol

[Asker]

his only moves were saying that he cared and he kissed my cheeks and hands... we put our foreheads together for about a min until i kissed him

[IamStag]

it is beautiful :) having feelings makes sex a lot better. so was it gentle? soft? caring? or just a "mutual masturbation"?

[Asker]

it was gentle. he kept kissing me throughout the whole thing. i would playfully turn my head the other way and he grunted at the fact that i wouldn't let him kiss me but we kissed a whole lot. after that while he was in me... does it sound like there's feelings?

[IamStag]

you know if he wouldn't have feelings for you he wouldn't care just walk away. job doesn't matter. I'm sure he has feelings, but I think you two are just not there yet. You may never will be together, noone can predict. A general rule is: always women choose men. So it's probably up to you to fight, if you want at all. Make sure about your feelings first :)

[Asker]

you are right no one can predict anything. and aaaah how do i choose him? lol. i was thinking that spending time at work would warm things up. he keeps asking me about it. he's in my boss just has to tell him to show up and he hasn't. he asked for his schedule and stuff so im pretty sure he's in. shall i just flirt with him?

[IamStag]

yep, just do your thing :) be yourself. and don't overthink it.

[Asker]

ill try not too xD!! so you would do fwb?

[IamStag]

I would, most definitely :) my wife turned to be one of my best friend.

[Asker]

so your wife was a fwb? any tips?

[IamStag]

she became one. we are now together since 9 years, we have our up and downs. what is important, that with a friend you can always talk about anything. when we feel we are in a trouble, we can talk hours and hours about feelings, problems, possible solutions. It is much easier to face a friend in hard times and work your way back to the love. also, even at hard times, we can spend time together. those times are not dates, but fun times with a friend, and we can always work from that point to build back the passion for each others. patience, dedication, understanding, respect are the key factors :)

[Asker]

thats so cute! aw. you're very rare you know that right? my question is the fact that he said no to friends with benefits (my guy) kinda feels as though he's not that into me. i dont know. i mean he did say it was because he really likes me as a friend and didn't wanna lose me since those things get messy. but to me that sounds like he's not interested

[Ashley2019]

I get it. say how you really feel He might just end up feeling the same way

[Asker]

based on what I've said... does it seem so? i mean he said he liked me a lot as a friend...

[Ashley2019]

Ok pm me

[rockrewls]

Seems like he likes you.

[Asker]

why do u think so?

[rockrewls]

Just based on what you had in your question and the details, do you not think he likes you?

[Asker]

im not sure... he’s a bit of a player with girls. he's the type of guy who cares a lot or doesn't care at all. i know i fall into the “care section” because even before we had sex he would tell me about his family and say “i know i can trust you”. and stuff like that. and i feel like if he did like me he would have accepted friends with benefits and told me he likes me?

[rockrewls]

The fact that he didn't accept the friends with benefits may mean he like as more than a casual sex toy. Why don't you straight up ask him if he only wants a friendship or if he wants more?

[Asker]

maybe... well he's gonna start working w me.. so lets see

[rockrewls]

Go get him, like lioness on hunt for her prey... lol

[Asker]

its scary to ask tho hahahahahaa ill see what happens. maybe feelings start to develop from his side or something. the only thing i hate is that he tells me he's over chicks and stuff like hooking up but then days later he told me that he was in the bathroom w a chick and he doesn't remember what happened bc he was really drunk. like i dont think he likes me bc he tells me those things

[Asker]

but he’s confirmed to me twice that he's over the hook up scene LOL

[rockrewls]

Yeah, somethings off then.

[Asker]

yeah... i mean do you think he has a crush on me though?

[Asker]

also... even after we hooked up he would tell me he hooked up with chicks and stuff. also he would talk to his ex. he told me he deleted his ex off snapchat and stuff but its not true.. he isn't talking to her tho that i can confirm from the ex herself hahaha

[rockrewls]

I think I would just move on, if I were you.

[Asker]

why is that?

[Asker]

but would u say there are feelings from his part?