If you have a higher sex drive than your partner, can a relationship still last?

The opposite way still applies too.
As they say : sex isn't everything but it can mean a lot.
Is there a way to achieve a middle ground if you love them?
If you have a higher sex drive than your partner, can a relationship still last?
0 3

Most Helpful Guys

  • It depends how big the gap is, and how cheerfully both can find a middle ground that genuinely makes them happy. People might have a preferred sexual frequency, but there's also a level they're 'okay' with, and going the other way, some people can be more sexual than their baseline cheerfully, other people immediately resent it. Some people are happy to finger/use oral to get their partner off if they weren't that horny, some aren't, some partners are happy with that some aren't.

    It's often a major issue. The relationship may 'last' if they are bound together with kids or something, but without kids, long term dissatisfaction in this area is gonna be toxic.

  • When my wife and I were dating and early in our marriage my sex drive was very high. She would give me handjobs or blow jobs in between the times when she didn't want to have sex. All of a sudden as my sex drive was "calming down" in our late 30's early 40's her sex drive went through the roof and I performed oral on her whenever she wanted. During the time she was in high sex drive mode she started wanted to do more kinky stuff that she didn't wan to do or said she would never do early on in our marriage.

    • May i ask when you guys started dating? I mean know there's whole honeymoon phase in the early stages of a relationship after a certain amount of time. But did you guys talk about it when you both noticed the changes? How did you both level things out...

    • I met her in1981 we got married. In 1989. After we moved in together for a while I realized at that time she wanted it once or twice a week when I wanted it almost every day. I was OK with it because I get along with her very well and she would take care of me in between. My urges calmed down in our 30's and we were about equal for a long time until her libido became very high. We didn't really talk much about it because it wasn't a huge issue with us either way. I just did what I could to keep us both happy.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I have a super high sex drive and my boyfriend does not but we make it work

    • How do you both level it out? Or keep yours at bay.

    • I masturbate with a vibrator

    • Sometimes masturbation is better than sex.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • If you can see eye to eye then yes if not then yourd not in the same page and unless you can educate that person to learn there are different levels that we all can achieve or supersede. If you settle you'll probably not like what you're settling for and if you got that far it'll take you a while longer to figure it out.

  • This is a good question ,, I know it sounds shallow but as time passes and you keep getting turned down u start to resent and you do love so you try every thing masturbating ,, masturbating to porn and the other S/O gets pissed because your watching it I think in time it gets old and you want need a beautiful touch. You want to please someone and be pleased so for me I've been there done it it didn't work out

  • It's all about compromise. Think of it this way, if one partner enjoys video games and the other doesn't how does that survive?

    Given it's not nearly as important but the effect can be very similar. Stuck on a couch watching your SO play... It's frustrating... But do you dump them over it... I would at least hope they have enough charm past their love for video games :)

    Sex can loosely be seen the same way. I'd say though, with video games you can find games you might play with your so or with sex, maybe if no sex is desired they can simply play with you every once in a while. Not sex but something sexually pleasing to the partner. Compromise.

  • Problem in the bedroom and problems with the bank accounts are the hardest to overcome. Not saying it ain't possible.
    Just ignoring it won't change things and eventually the one with the higher drive will mess up.

  • I'm of the opinion that the further the divide between sex drives, the more likely the relationship will fail, or end up with one partner getting it elsewhere.
    The person not getting sexual attention will eventually cheat, no matter what their morals or feelings on cheating are. The less the get at home, the more likely they are going to cheat, period.

    This isn't just opinion, I've have been living in this circumstance for years.

  • Yeah of course it can if you have outlets for it

  • In my opinion yes it can still work. Not everyone you meet and like might have a low sex drive or don't like sex at all.

    ttps://www.healthywomen.org/content/article/intimacy-without-intercourse

  • I don't think it's really a straight "yes" or "no" answer.

    Technically it can last, but it can certainly add tension to the relationship and make things more difficult. The person with the higher sex drive likely starts to feel undesired, and the person with the lower sex drive likely starts to find it tedious, less fun, and feels back for making their partner feel that way.

    If your relationship is great in all other respects then you're probably fine, but if it's already pretty rocky it can certainly kill a relationship.

  • Yes, there are always things guys can do for a girl to satisfy
    her sex drive cause it's higher than his

  • It's hard to make it work, that's been a stumbling point for many of my relationships as I have a naturally high sex drive and have only once met a woman with a similar drive unfortunately she had other serious problems.. usually if you have the higher drive you will be left feeling unsatisfied and this may lead to arguments and other problems and maybe even cheating.. don't cheat try calmly to communicate you're needs to your mate and maybe they can meet you at a level you both enjoy..

  • Well for starters you have to be very clear how much you want sex with your partner from an early stage if you have an extremely high sex drive and your partner only wants to have sex like once a month or once a week then I honestly don't know if it woodwork myself personally no relationship I have been in has worked out if the girl didn't have a sex drive close to my own

  • I don't see why it shouldn't or wouldn't last

  • Yeah. But they should satisfy each other.

    • Yes of course.

    • So, who's upper hand , is it yours or ur partner? @Ultimega

    • Im the one with high drive so if I go without for too long I tend to get frustrated.

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  • I don't know... I'm currently struggling with that issue myself. I don't know how to bring it up to her that I'm not satisfied, and haven't been for a while.

  • Yea it's possible. But if they can't keep up with you at all... eh I dunno

  • Does he know that you want to get it on more often?

  • For 18 years so far it has.

  • The partner will be unsatisfied forever basically they'll have to be cheat tons of masturbation or be unhappy no other option when your not getting what you need

  • Probably. It won’t be a fun or pleasing one.. but out of obligation

  • I dont think so. It will fail.

    • From experience

    • Really? That sucks. Im sorry you experienced that. *hugs*

    • Yeah but in that situation he clearly was cheating. Which was awful However my current boyfriend does loves me a lot but its only that slipped a lot recently, but that could be due to the whole lockdown.. and usual activities that helps like going to the gym are not available. So i don't have much of an outlet

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