Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
What makes someone a slut? These days, it seems the only qualification you’ve got to have to suffice is to be a female.
According to Leora Tanenbaum, author of ‘SLUT! Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation’, the term slut has come to be associated as applying to any women who simply deviates from the ‘norms of femininity’, whatever the fuck that even is. A ‘slut’ doesn’t even need to be sexually active; if you’re a female and fail to follow the gender script; congrats, you’re a slut.
These days, it doesn’t even require a woman to be promiscuous to be shamed as being a slut. If you embrace your sexuality in any way, even when in a long-term, monogamous relationship, you fall into that seemingly all en-compassing category.
There isn’t even such a thing as being a ‘slut’ or ‘not a slut’. Just being a woman. Even the ‘slut-pride’ and ‘slut-walk’ movements were entirely counter-productive, in my opinion. All they truly managed to do is to further feinfrce the dichotomies that feminism is working towards getting rid of. The whole ‘in-group’ ‘ougroup’ bias. It’s always us versus them, regardless of context.
It truly is a thin line to walk for women, between love and hate. Where one moment you’re the next best thing since sliced bread, beautiful, wanted by all, then before you know it you’re nothing better htan some filth in the street. Why? Because you dared to express an emotion or desire that is common to every single human being worldwide.
Women lose their sheen quickly. That’s what happens with commodities. Your worth is in the hands of a fickle and punitive market.
As always, women are sluts and men are, well, men.
‘Slut-shaming’ isn’t about shaming ‘sluts’. It’s about misogyny. It’s about shutting women down. It’s about hating women. It’s about silencing. You can be labelled a ‘slut’ regardless of whether or not you have or like sex. Whether you’ve had one partner or fifty. It’s doesn’t matter.
Many men seem to want their cake and to eat it too. They want a willing sexual partner who is kinky af, lets him have their way with them. However, best not be too open about enjoying it if that happens to be the case as many society's also seem to place a lot of value on virginity, a women being demure and modest as a little school girl.
Half of the time people talk about being ‘slut-shamed’ or witnessing ‘slut-shaming’, it’s about clothes. Not sex. Someone thought you or your buddy was dressed ‘like a slut’. Your response was to say that, apparently, some ‘slut-shaming’ happened. But I’m confused now. Which is it? Is it that women who ‘like sex’ are being shamed? Or is it that women who wear push-up bras are being shamed? Because, for the record, wearing ‘slutty’ clothes has nothing to do with liking sex or not liking sex.
It's a warning more than a word – a reminder to women that we must adhere to the narrow standards of femininity and sexuality set out for us. If we fail to obey, we will be punished accordingly.
What Girls & Guys Said
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this seems less an article and more like the female version of that guy ranting how that women want men to be in charge but won't make the first move themselves and it's damaging equality...
entirely emotional and from an upset person, with no real reason or logic behind it. the prized mantle of victimhood.
nice try but I've detected no levels of being upset. You seem like the typical male, jumping to conclusions and throwing out accusations without even having read what was written. Thanks for providing proof to what was written. :)
I'll say again, sluts are ought to be shamed. This take doesn't address any point that justified them not to be shamed.
In face, most of the instances mentioned are a mere exaggeration or extremities. Society doesn't just label sexually inactive women as sluts. That's bs.
Wearing 'sexy' clothes has much to do , because sexy itself is derieved from the word 'sex' . you expect you'd wear a garter belt around in public and people should keep a straight face? Not gonna happen.
I enjoy how you said all of the points and examples I mentioned are exaggerations, then you finish your argument by countering my point about people calling a girl a slut based on how she dresses by claiming that nobody wears garters while out and about. I've heard girls called sluts for wearing sun-dresses, showing a bit of ankle. Sluts ought to be shamed eh? Perhaps you should find something better to do with your time than occupying yourself with becoming concerned about the sex lives of others which.
No one gets called a slut showing a bit of ankle , be real. Or even if half her thigh is exposed, people will hit on them for sure, but it still goes quite unnoticed. Thus I believe what you said was an exaggeration. You make it sound like women not wearing burkas will be called slut at least once a day. Just saying. Oh what others wear In public is totally my business. Because we humans are social animals, we get influenced by the people around us, and I wouldn't want my mom, sister or my girlfriend wear a 2 piece in a bar like strippers do. Of course, I realize I cannot stop the strippers from wearing what they want. But I can oppose it. Same with sluts. If people don't oppose promiscuous behaviour as bad or degrading , people will think its acceptable to be promiscuous. And personally no man would want to have a promiscuous wife, so they oppose such behavior. If you don't want a promiscuous man you can oppose such behavior too.
I've been called a slut simply because I've said I enjoyed sex not completely out of context during a conversation with friends and whatnot, despite my being in a 2+ year relationship and not partaking in any activities that are typically thought of as 'promiscuous'. Not everyone shares the same sense as you in respect to what qualifies someone as a slut, if the feel the need to concern themselves with thing like that.
That's sad. Name calling is different though, assholes will just keep calling women sluts because 1. They know it offends them 2. That's the only way they know how to get a woman's attention. 3. Too close mindedness Namecalling will persist , its kind of a side effect of having a peculiar standard. Just like people call non-lifting guys "beta" and shit like that xD
every girl is a slut at one point in their lives.
everyone can be a slut. It's disgusting how 'slut' has become linked solely to females, and a man who does exactly the same things is praised and any negative stigma attached to to those actions in this case are dismissed. 'Oh, men will be men, that's just how they are.'
men can't get pregnant though.
ever heard of condoms/being on birth control?
well yah. but my point is, most ladies #1 concern w/ sex is pregnancy. you've seen all the far fetched questions.
there's no consequence for a male.
AIDS?
@Hwlsop 1 in 2500 chance to contract from an HIV positive female. without a condom. negligible.
@Hwlsop
Herpes. Condom doesn't prevent it.
@Hwlsop no one cares about herpes.
The only people who don't care about herpes are lowend hookers. Another concern men may have about excessive sexual partners is maintaining a bit of self dignity..
I sure as hell wouldn't want it you can't get rid of it.
@Hwlsop neither would i. my point is its not the std that comes to mind when you say "std"
In my experience about 90% of the people I hear use that word are FEMALE.
perhaps you're right, though I don't believe I specified who's most at fault at throwing the term around. It's more about the idea behind usage of the term.
exactly what i said! it's a simple point really that can't even be argued...
Yes but an author one author to be exact doesn't get to decide what a slut is. Who is she to say what others think?
True. I'm not saying one particular thing is a slut. However, this nonuniversal idea of what specific actions constitute a girl as being a slut make it impossible to avoid being termed as one. Whether it be for showing too much skin, embracing your sexuality, or simply enjoying sex outside of a relationship, seems like it's impossible to get by without wronging someone.
Well yeah that's true especially what she said about clothes, but the same thing goes with men. Men can't wear certain clothes that women at least can otherwise we would be shamed for it. Take for example a man wearing speedos at a beach as opposed to women wearing bikinis not all but a good amount of men and women would shame the guy for wearing speedos or a man wearing no pants but a long shirt and just his underwear he would be labeled a creep, but if a women were to do the same thing sometimes it would even be considered cute. She was especially right about the adhering about narrow standards of femininity and sexuality otherwise they would be punished accordingly. Same thing could be said for men though and their masculinity and sexuality standards, if we don't adhere to a certain standard we get punished as well. I mean can a an wear make up and get a girl to date him? Only specific cases like he could only get an emo chick. Or wear a dress and not be labeled gay or a tranny?
A man getting 'shamed' for wearing a speedo, at least in North America, is in no way comparable to how some women get treated in certain cultures for wearing a tanktop or skirt that's above the knees. A man wearing makeup is of course going to attract some attention but that's an incredibly far stretch. I could say the same about a girl who wants to wear a tie it something. Very far from the idea behind slut shaming. I have yet to hear of half as many men having to live a life of repressing their sexuality or being stoned to death because they wish to wear some makeup.
Well I agree to some extent of what you are saying and if you are referring to the middle east that's cause its a male dominant country. Still I mean how many men do you know who wear make up and get a girlfriend? Its not really that extreme of a case considering emo guys and emo scene guys wear it all the time. But seriously aside from being slut shamed women don't have it bad in America at all. If you are gonna talk about levels of how bad something is then lets bring up the topic about the label "pervert". Men get labeled pervert and shamed so much for it way worse than women do if they get shamed for it at all they mostly just get a slap on the wrist even if the case becomes illegal. Prime example is an older women taking advantage of a younger male. Or a guy can't even play at a park alone or be at a park by himself without getting eye daggers even when the child's parent is there at the park with them without having at least a few parents calling the cops on him
Even if he didn't approach the kids at all.
The emo scene is a set niche not applicable to all males as a whole. I don't know a single man who wears makeup or has the slightest interest in anything of that sort so it seems like a moot point. You could also argue it's unfair that neither gender could get away with wearing a clown suit. True but off on a total tangent.
Can't we just accept people as they are without all the labels?
If you prefer casual sex to sex inside a relationship, you're a slut.
If a man says he doesn't want to get into a relationship with a slut, he is well within his rights and an attempt to shame him for making his preferences known should not me made.
As far as all that other stuff you brought up? Meh None of that is how I define slut.
'If a man says he doesn't want to get into a relationship with a slut, he is well within his rights and an attempt to shame him for making his preferences known should not me made.' Shaming a man for slut-shaming someone who he doesn't want to get into a relationship? Sounds like something I've yet to ever hear of happening outside of articles online or feminist rallies.
Any time a man states his preference, the shaming starts, in discussions with women online and offline.
only online. I've never heard of anything even close to that happening in real life. On the contrary; whoever he shares his distaste towards a girl because of her sexual habits with, they'll usually join him with shaming the girl.
I live in the Bay Area California, if a man states his preference in open conversation, the attempted marginalizing and shaming begins, it's indistinguishable from the online discussions. Nevertheless, this is a diversion from the point. People, including men, are well within their rights to identify slutty behavior and voice their preference, for or against, it. You will never shame a man into desiring a slut for a mate.
I don't think you get the point of my take then, if you even cared to read it. Sure, you can believe people, both males and females, are sluts. But shaming them publicly isn't necessary. Also, a woman showing some skin or actually enjoying/embracing her sexuality does not make her a slut in itself.
Oh, I agree. I don't shame people for being sluts. Many of my friends are sluts. I just won't consider a slut suitable for a relationship with me. Many men feel the same way. Seems there is a movement to go beyond 'anti-shaming' which is fine and into 'you must consider sluts worthy of your trust and love' which isn't fine.
As far as the clothing etc... I stated my definition of slut at the top of my answer. First thing I said. Everything else is from that point.
So to you, a slut is anyone who practices casual sex, even if even that is monogamous simply not in an official relationship? That's fine. Everyone has their own definition. I'm not saying we should 'embrace' sluts. More like saying women specifically should stop being shamed or looked down upon for wearing a dress that shows some skin or have to basically 'confess' or feel like it's a bad thing that they might enjoy sex just as much as the average male.
Yeah. But I'm also saying that women are trying to define men who have and voice a preference as 'shaming' because women may feel 'pressured' to meet that preference. And that's what I speak out against. Every time. Maybe if women would refine slut shaming to mean only exactly what you say it means, there'd be more acceptance of the concept.
True... I guess that could just be part of the recent major pc movement where some women feel like there should be zero labels including those based off of someone's sexual life, how active it is and/or with how many different partners. Regardless of whether it's even used in a negative context or not. A bit over sensitive about the usage of the term 'slut' largely because of the whole negative stigma behind it.
Agree with you... PREACH
Women love sex as much as men. No need to shame anybody.
"SEX IS A HUMANLY INSTINCT NOT MANLY INSTICT"
your all sluts to me lol women
I think you take the cake on here as the biggest troll. If there is ever an award for it , you'll get it!!!
*you're @Kris85 touche
@Kris85 I LOVE HOW EVERYONE THINKS I TROLL IM BEING HONEST YOUR ALL SLUTS TO ME, I CAN FUCK ANY GIRL ON HERE WHETHER SHE AGREES OR NOT DOESN'T MATTER TOO ME I AM BETTER THAN THEM AND THAT'S A FACT
Lmao. Cool story bro.
Based on how impaired your basic spelling skills are, I find it tough to believe that your dick-game would be strong enough to 'fuck any girl on here'. (... definitely not me.) *to *you're (Also, if you fuck anyone who 'doesn't agree', you'll be spending time in prison so... making a statement such as that doesn't do you any favours in respect to your claims of superiority.)
ohh hun everyone on here has an IP address which is easy to get, takes about minute its not even illegal, than when put online gives away the location of each person on here or just you than the rest is up too me too travel to the location, so yes I can do this to everyone on here even guys its not hard did you know only about 30% of cases actually see the light of day and about 1,000,000 to 750,000 people going missing each year how many do you think are actually found and how many of the people do you think get charged with the crime think about it, there murderers, rapist, drug lords, just chilling at home right now and no one knows, and they'll do it again so trust me it isn't as hard as you think hun
mhmm. Alrighty then. 👌
OHH ALMOST FORGET GIRLS HAVE ALREADY ASKED ME FOR SEX AND MARRIAGE ON THIS SITE CAUSE IM AN HONEST MOTHERFUCKER SO IM NOT WORRIED LOL WOMEN
😩 *forgot When was honesty even mentioned? Or are you just spouting off random, unrelated tidbits?
You have earned the
https://i.imgur.com/Ichl0QR.png
Good take.
thankyou. :)
No, thank you!
It's the other way around too. Guys get laughed at for being virgins all the time. I do
hm okay I've never heard of a guy being shamed for either being a virgin or for being promiscuous... if you've actually received comments like that from others, I guess misery loves company.
i have know some sluts they do not have pride for themselves.
You want to but you can't but when you do you wish you didn't, right?
a bit off topic but what the hell:
if you think about it, comparing sexually active women with prostitutes is sort of dumb, or at least intellectually lazy, actually. (besides from the unnecessary moral judgement part and all)
the huge difference is: sexually active women do it because they want to do it with different people; prostitutes do it for money. a prostitute has sex with guys she doesn't like or finds repulsive if the guy pays, a sexually promiscuous woman does not.
That's pretty on point, in my opinion. It drives me nuts when I see posts like one yesterday which claim that women have 'become more promiscuous', with a lot of opinions on it saying that they agree, 'they're all becoming slutty.' I'm just like... no. If that's the case, we're only becoming as 'slutty' as men have been for centuries. ie. acknowledging the fact that we, too, have a libido.
yeah. I also fail to see why women being sexually active is such a big deal. maybe the fact that I'm not from the USA helps me to have a more reasonable perspective about sexuality and such. I have to admit it never ceases to surprise me how moralistic and prudish (and hypocritical and intellectually lazy) are americans when it comes to sexuality.
Nothing wrong with being a prude
.. of course not. I'm just saying that it's impossible to please everyone, and whatever a girl does, she'll displease one group or another. She'll either be a slut for showing too much skin, or be a prude for covering up, for example.
I know, I'm just saying, people talk like a prude is a bad thing, I think it's good
I Have Never Called A Woman Or Teenage Girl (Back When I Was A Teen) A Slut.
Today's Female Is Not Judged Like They Were 30 Years Ago Or 40, 50 Even 60 Years Ago, When You Were Truly Judged By Others For Wanting Sex, Even If You Had Sex With 1 Person You Were Called A Slut.
Today's Teens Are So Open Minded, So Willing To Have Sex At A Much Younger Age, Teenage Threesomes, Posting Their Nudes On The Internet, Sharing Their Nudes With Anyone Willing To Look!
Does That Make Her A Slut? NO!
How Can A Teen Girl Or A Grown Woman Be Labled A Slut, When Everyone Else Is Doing The Same Thing?
If That Is The Case, We Are All Sluts!
If She Is A Slut, Then He Is A Slut Too, But I Still Disagree On The Label.
When I Was In My Late Teens, I Was Fucking A Lot Of Girls, And They Were Also Coming On To Me As Well So We Could Fuck.
If They Legs Were Open And Willing I Was In, If They Were Partially Open And Almost Willing It Did Not Take Much To Open Them Willingly!
And This Was In The 80'S When Girls Were Not Having Sex Like They Do Today.
For All The Pussy That Was Willing, More Than Double Were Saying No And Labeling Those Who Did! Does That Make Them A Slut? NO, Was I A Slut? NO.
In My Early 20'S, I Once Had Sex With 3 Different Girls In A Span Of A Few Short Hours.
The Teen Girls Next Door Watched A Woman Friend Come To My Apt Hear Us Having Sex, (Trust Me They Heard Us Having Sex) Then Leave, Only To See Another Show Up Shortly After And Have Sex With Her, Then Another After That Have Sex With Her Too.
After The 3rd Girl Left The Teen Girls Looked At Me With Big Smiles, With A "I Can't Believe You Just Fucked 3 Different Women One After Another" Look! And Each Gave Me Two Thumbs Up!
They Were Impressed, And Probably Wanted Their Turn Too!
Does That Make Me A Slut? No, Does It Make A Girl Who Does The Same Thing A Slut? NO!
I Think People Label Others For Their Actions, Because This Person Is Doing It And Not Me, Why Does He Or She Always Have Sex, While I Sit Home And Masturbate To The Fantasy Of Sex?
There Is Nothing Wrong With Sex With Multiple Partners, Friends With Benefits, As Long As Those Involved Agree, (And Of Course Be Safe About It), Who The Fuck Cares!
If You're So Inclined To Call Her A Slut For Enjoying Sex, Get Off Your High Horse And Go Get Some Sex With Anyone Willing!
Stop Judging People, It's Just Sex, Everyone Does It, Some Just More Than Others!
do you want strong family or several partners? Do you want someone to love u hard or guys take advantage of you? How do you see yourself 10 years later? Do you want permanently happiness or temporary? Does society judge affect you? What do men looking for? What your future kid wish to have? How many regret before?
After You are sure , then do what you want, you will only live once, decide carefully!
A slut is somebody that had sex with one more person than the person calling them a slut.