We just started talking via friends (haven't really met in person, just in passing) and I am curious about how to approach this. He went on a brief business trip. I am wondering should I reach out or let him enjoy his time / business / trip.
For me, I might send a good night or good morning message... I am not looking to get into any long conversations through text with anyone when they are traveling. But if they are responsive then I will text with them normally. I mean if you are interested you want to maintain or express some level of interest. But once a day or every other day you can shoot him a message. I would appreciate that as a man. Yes, you do not want to come off as being too needy, or desperate. But going more than 24 to 48 yours without texting is a clear sign of disinterest.
But let me tell you the truth about online dating... you're there looking for hook ups or on some level you really want to find someone... so there is a level of desperation that made you want to go online to meet new people.
I for one am always skeptical of people I meet online that are busy, traveling or otherwise unable to meet in person within the first week or two. They connect with you, and you exchange messages then they leave. You want to respect their space, but at the same time they are going to be gone for a period of time. So, are you just supposed to wait around on them until they are back? My advice is don't do that. Because a week goes by and your unable to meet, and you're not really texting either. So, it gets old fast, and honestly what do you really know about this person?
So, I recommend that you maintain some casual contact, but you should still try to keep meeting other people. If they are busy with work or whatever the situation is, and they are not making any attempt to advance it past texting after a week... then you go to ask yourself if this person's lifestyle is constant with yours? Or if this type of person or situation you want to get involved with? Or if there is something more going on, because other than text you honestly don't know enough to really trust or not trust the person... your just stuck in limbo land. But do not be a fool, if you met someone online that you're interested in then you got to assume there are at least two to three other people just as interested. So even if they are traveling are they just not texting with you, or are they seriously, not texting anyone at all?
But if text once or twice every 24 to 48 hours and getting responses then I would not stress over it or over think it. But once they are back if they do not try to meet or progress it beyond texting then I move on by week 3 at the very latest.
WHERE DID I SAY ONLINE DATING? I said we have met through friends but not necessarily met in person
Still the same... just lesser degrees of separation. My advice still stands. You just may know about him then some ransom guy... but if were texting before the trip or talking I don't think that should stop just because he went on a trip. Again, causal texts, like good morning, good night., hows the trip going, once every 24 to 48 hours
*Know more about him
Nothing wrong with a quick "hope the trip is going well, looking forward to chatting when you get a chance." If he's busy he might not reply or only reply briefly, but if he's stuck in his hotel room bored, he's going to hit you up.
The important thing is that you keep your expectations realistic. I've had trips where I was worn out by dinner time and just wanted sleep, and trips where I was obligated to go to dinner or events after work with coworkers, but also trips where I had lots of free time with nothing to do. In other words, whether he gives you a three word response or chats for an hour may not have anything to do with you, but rather his situation. If he doesn't have the time, that doesn't mean that he doesn't have the interest.
Yep I know that's why I messaged him later in the evening figuring he was either at the hotel or out, he was out but he still gave me a response & an explanation (exploring the town) why we couldn't chat at the time. As I told him no worries & we can chat later (another day).
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