If you partner doesn't really want to have sex but agrees to do it because of a sense of obligation. . ?

If you partner doesnt really want to have sex but agrees to do it because of a sense of obligation. . ?

When women reach menopause, their production of sex hormones changes. This can result in a decrease or even total loss of libido (as well as decreased ability to self-lubricate.) For many women, their primary or GYN will prescribe hormone replacement therapy (HRT,) but this is contraindicated in women with a family history of breast cancer, blood clotting disorders, or deep venous thrombosis.

My ex-wife was post-menopausal, could not take HRT, and had a decreased libido. She had some sexual desire but not as much as I wanted it. I never demanded sex from her; that is not "my style." Still, many times she would be receptive to having sex because of a sense of obligation rather than desire. In a relationship, sex means much more than just doing something because it feels good, and knowing that she really didn't want to be having sex with me was frustrating and depressing. I accepted her offers and it felt good but not as satisfying as it should have been.

Guys, ever been in this position? How would you feel if you knew your partner was having sex only because you wanted it and she really didn't sex with you? Girls, would you have sex when you don't really want it just to keep your guy happy, or would you resent your guy for wanting sex when you don't?

If the girl doesn't want to have sex very often, the guy should just understand that and accept it
Vote A
If the girl doesn't want to have sex very often, the guy should just understand that and break up with her if he can't accept it
Vote B
If the girl doesn't want to have sex very often, she should "take care of him" (oral sex or hand jobs) when he wants sex
Vote C
If the girl doesn't want to have sex very often, she should "take care of him" (oral sex or hand jobs) when he wants sex, including PIV sex some of the times.
Vote D
If the girl doesn't want to have sex very often, she should give him PIV sex whenever he wants it
Vote E
If the girl doesn't want to have sex very often, she should allow him to have another sexual partner
Vote F
Something else that I'll explain in a comment
Vote G
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
0 1

Most Helpful Girl

  • I have been in a relationship where having sex with him turned into a chore and I did not care for it. Mid way through my abusive relationship my sex drive plummeted, I couldn’t figure out why at the time and it made me self conscious. I didn’t think it had anything to do with him, I thought I was the problem. Our bodies are a pretty incredible thing, my snatch was not happy with him, and she knew he had to go months before I was consciously aware of it. As soon as the relationship ended my sex drive skyrocketed and I was having a minimum of 3 orgasms a day and also learned how to squirt two months after. All the things you listed are genuine reasons why someone’s libido might go down but sometimes the answer is as simple and straightforward as fucking the wrong person

Most Helpful Guys

  • Well marriage is work and sometimes you have to do things in the relationship that you don’t always want to because you want to make them happy so it goes both ways because I’m sure there are things he doesn’t want to do but does them to keep the woman happy also so it’s a compromise sometimes, just like they say, you’re in it for better or worse, it’s a commitment marriage and it’s not always going to great but hopefully the good times outweigh the bad times

  • In my view, no one should ever be obligated to have sex they don't want, and no one should every stay in a relationship where they are unyappy. So if there is a sexual mismatch (for any reason, of any time) the couple should see if there is a level of sexuality that will make them both happy, If not, they should split

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 6
  • Breaking up would probably be best.

  • Goodness Finchie, why you hiding?

  • Food for thought.. sure there can be loss of libido but that reduction in sexual desire, you think it's in general? I think some of that loss in desire is specific to her partner too. Bring in her favorite movie star, you think the outcome will be the same?

    • Ever dated a 55 year old woman? Older women who have gone through menopause are not just like the 20-somethings and 30-somethings that you date.

  • the theory is flawed logic, compare "no appetite" but still enjoy the taste of food similarly intimacy has pleasure like eating candy despite not hungry. reminder libido is like appetite.

  • My wife is on menopause and doesn’t really feel in the mood for sex. But if I get a bullet sized vibrator on her clitoris - I can get her to orgasm 2-3x back to back. I enjoy giving her her orgasms 😎👍. As for me, I’m quite happy masturbating 👍🙂

  • Denying your man sex is default permission for him to seek sex elsewhere.

  • That sign says it all

  • I'll be honest, if one of you is only having sex with your partner because you feel you have to, the relationship is already dead and neither of you know it yet.

    • “and neither of you know it yet.” Bad assumption. I knew it.

  • I don't really know.