Im scared women will humiliate me? help me?

this all started when my older sisters would beat the crap out of me dress me in girl clothes when i was about 6 to 8 and do other horrible acts when i was teenager they would always dress very hypersexual and would tell me how guys were in to them and how she's in to them and do other horrendous shit you should never do to a child since then im mentally ill and then i discovered porn that fucjed me more in the brain.

my mother let me sleep with her till age 13 in her bed. i dont understand how they allowed me to do that maybe that added to my sickness perversion in my head

how do i get rid of this bullshit in my head i dont want to harm myself or others

Updates:
1 y
not forget to mention my own dad had been babying me since the beginming. which made me grow up to not be able to take risks like drive go to university travel etc. he did it all for me. i expect from him to guide me and use his communication skils that he learned and became wise n help me. instead of babying me
1 y
if you think this is how you should treat a child and a teenager. than your abusive pice of shit that wants to harm the stabiĺit in the world instead of bringing peace to it.
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  • I had a similar upbringing and that’s why that kind of stuff turns me on- strong women and humiliation- I’m fucked!

  • Empowerment. That is the answer. I remember reading somewhere that men and women the way you treat their problems is different. For women its more about affirming them and making them feel loved and cared about. This method does not work well on men.

    For men the answer is to empower them. If your into the motivational self help stuff Wes Watson is the best in the game. Though he can be harsh he ultimately means well. (lots of good free stuff on his YouTube)

    Also you need to ditch porn and do that nofap reboot thing. This is of great importance of cleanse your mind body and soul. One thing I would note is Expression not suppression. Sexual energy is life energy in a way, and it can be expressed in non sexual ways by doing anything really, Yoga, Exercise, meditating etc. This way your not just shoving your sexuality into the corner and trying your best to ignore it.

    As far as problems in your head. Affirmations and meditations are great. Specifically before bed and right when you wake up. Doing that over extended period of time will along side not consuming the bad stuff will help with that. You can look some up on youtube, but I prefer to make my own. There are lots of good exercises you can do around this method example being. Write them down instead of just thinking them. Before bed and when you wake up.

    If you fall down shake it off and get back up. If you fall down again. Get back up again. As long as you keep getting back up after your mistakes regrets and blunders you will eventually get to where you want to be.

  • What other shit did they do to you? There's nothing wrong with sleeping next to your mother

    • well im an proof that this "social experiment" or whatever it was went horribly wrong. im here failed highschool, diagnosed with mental illness, psychosis, can't leave my room, became radical incel extremist now not anymore though, i have harmed myself before where i yanked my penis gicing myself erectile dysfunction and numbness which lasted for 1 week what else u wanna know?

    • I would like to know what 'other horrible acts' did your sister do to you?