Inexperienced and want to practice BJ's-Should I ask him if I can practice on him or just go down on him?

I was an older (late 20's) female virgin up until 5 months ago. I have been hanging out with this guy for the last year and I finally told him I was a virgin a few months ago and his response was so supportive (unlike some people I had told in the past) that I decided to sleep with him a few weeks later and he has continued to be super supportive and understanding about my inexperience and boundaries. It has turned into more of a friends with benefits situation where we get together every other week or so and have sex but don't go on dates.

I don't see this lasting forever but I enjoy hooking up with him. I want to get better at everything so that I don't have as much anxiety with whoever I date next. Since this current guy is so understanding and makes me feel comfortable I want to practice blow jobs. He goes down on me so I would like to return the favor. I am so nervous that I'm going to be really bad but this seems like a good situation to practice in. I have four questions related to this:

1. Guys, would you rather have a girl in my situation send you a sexy text telling you that she wants to practice BJ's on you and asking if your willing or would you rather her just go down on you?

2. Should I give a BJ on it's own to completion (if I can) or just practice as part of foreplay where we have sex after? If doing foreplay, how do I initiate it?

3. If I give him a BJ to completion, how long will he likely need before he can be ready to go again?

4. I know I need to use my tongue to swirl and lick but when going up and down does my tongue stay against his penis?
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • If he makes you feel comfortable, then it's absolutely a good idea to practice as much as you can with him. It will definitely help you in the long run. Go into this knowing you're probably going to be bad at it. NOBODY is perfect at it at first (ever hear "practice makes perfect"?). Just make sure you both keep an open line of communication.

    1. I would suggest just going right for it in the moment whenever you feel ready. Doing so will ensure that you're only doing it because you want to and not as an obligation. If you tell him beforehand and you find out you don't want to, you put yourself in the awkward position of disappointing, being disappointed, and doing something you don't feel right doing under personal obligation or pressure (Though, it doesn't seem like he's the type to do that. Either way, better safe than sorry.)

    2. Do what feels right for you. Go as far as you can and then assess. If you want to go further, then go further. If you don't want to, then stop. Always ask him questions about how it makes him feel and read his body language. People tend to feed off the energy of their partners during sex. So, the more he's enjoying it, the more likely you'll be enthusiastic about doing more. Don't think too much on how to start it. It helps to kiss and fondle on the way down to build the enthusiasm, though.

    3. Every guy is different. And every situation is different. There have been nights where I was ready to go again just a couple minutes later, and others where I was "one and done".

    4. Do yourself a favor and experiment. People learn best by doing. Ask him what feels good and what doesn't. Pay attention to how he's responding. Lots of different things feel good. I speak for every man alive when I give this one piece of advice, though: Don't. Use. Your. Teeth.

  • 1. Just do it. Trust me on that. You're already sexual with him and you're simply adding something extra that he will love. It's not like trying anal for the first time.
    2. Maybe until you become more confident you could start with the bj just being a foreplay bj. Get used to the basic mechanics first and the sensation of having him in your mouth. And then you will probably feel more comfortable taking his ejaculation in your mouth.
    Initiate during foreplay by kissing down his belly to his penis and just confidently position it so can put it in your mouth.
    3. That varies depending on several factors. If he's not tired and hasn't had too much to drink and he's in good overall health he can probably get another erection in about 10 minutes, especially if after a few minutes of "recovery time" you start stimulating his penis either by touching it or orally.
    4. When going up and down you don't have to do anything special with your tongue. It might even be a good time to let it rest from actively using it to stimulate him. And it's important that you position yourself as comfortably as possible so your neck and shoulders don't get stiff and give yourself breaks to relax your neck and mouth muscles. While you're taking a break from having him inside your mouth you can stroke him with your hand and caress and massage his balls. You don't need to be in a rush while you're doing any of this.
    Feel free to dm me if you want. It sounds like you have a great and open attitude towards this and that is the single most important thing in giving him a great blowjob.

    • And don't think you have to deep throat to give a great blowjob. You don't. Most of the "feels good" sensation is in the head of the penis and in the inch or so just below the head on the underside. If going deep is something you want to try after you get more experience that's fine but it's not necessary.

    • I endorse the method of stroking with the hand while taking breaks. He's going to get really excited anticipating you putting your mouth back on it. And then when you put him back in your mouth it's going to be pure exstacy for him. I'm pretty sure you're going to win major points with that. As long as it's just a brief pause and not forever.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Man this sounds so similar to my current situation, though I'm just at the start of my friends with benefits relationship. The guy I'm hooking up with seems to really like going down on me a lot, and I want to repay to favour...

    So the next time we started sexting I told him upfront next time we meet up I want to repay the favour and go down on him. Of course he really likes the idea, even knowing I wouldn't have any experience with it.

    I'm kinda happy I told him I wanted to do that, because it gives myself some time to mentally prepare myself. But I also think the guy would be really happy if you didn't say anything first and just surprised him with it. My guy actually admitted he's disappointed he's never been with a more forward girl that wanted to just take off his pants and start blowing him without him having to suggest it or ask for it... So if your guy is in a similar position where he's only been with more "submissive" girls, he might enjoy you taking the reigns and surprising him with a blowjob.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

0 9
  • If you're really nervous then tell him. Being told it's purely for practice could be interpreted weirdly so just say you want to, but you need some practice can he give you some direction? Option two just depends on the situation, but you can always go from bj to sex and back to bj because question 3 depends entirely on the person. Like me for example at 18 I'd need approximately 0.1 seconds whereas now I like to have sex a long time and like a decent break between. You can get your man friends to answer 4, just ask what's better. Don't forget to use a hand at the same time

  • Ask him

  • It’s more important that you relax and enjoy what you’re doing.
    Suck it like tootsie pop, act like you’re enjoying it.
    Play with his balls, suck on them and fondle them.
    When his cock is in your mouth, moan deeply... the vibration will go right through him.
    Relax and enjoy yourself.

  • Because everyone is different it's better if you ask him.

  • Tell him you would like to practice on him.

  • 1. Sending a text is not really needed, it's much hotter if you just do it or tell him just before doing it
    2. I guess you can best see that when you are busy
    3. It depend a lot on the guy, for me I'm ready to go again immediately (for a few times)
    4. Every girl has a different technique, try to find out what you like to do and what he likes ;-)

  • 1. I would rather have her just do it without asking in this case.
    2. I would say give the BJ to completion to get the experience of how to give a guy an orgasm through oral.
    3. Probably 20-30 minutes.
    4. Yes it does feel better if you keep your tongue against the penis.

  • Just tell him directly you wanna do it and he will teach you

  • First, as far as anxiety in future relationships, the key is what you've already found out with this guy, communication. Finding the right person you're comfortable with and being able to talk about anything and everything. As far as the fear you'll be really bad at it, for this to happen you have to be pretty bad. Your desire and enjoyment of doing it is at least 1/2 the battle (or more). The rest is just communication and him telling you what he likes and doesn't (it will be different with every guy). Now for the other questions,

    1) Either.

    2) Either again, or switch it up. Whatever you want to. It's your "practice session" lol. As far as initiate, just do it. Or if you're making out, start touching him there and then just go for it!

    3) That we can't say because it will be different with every guy and can vary a lot from guy to guy. Generally though, 10-20 mins. Although lots you can do in this time. Make out. Him go down on you, etc. Or even just cuddle naked together, if you guys like that?

    4) That would be amazing, but just enjoy yourself and don't over think it. Do what you want and feel like. He'll love it all I'm sure.