Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Is there a difference between preference and isolation?
If you've ever asked another individual out on a date or have been in a position in which you had to either accept or decline a proposition, you've mostly likely heard one of these common phrases at least once:
"I don't date [race] girls"
"I'm just not into [race] guys"
"I swear I'm not racist, but I don't date [race] people"
What is preference?
From my perspective: When it comes to dating or making any type of choice, preference is having something you're typically more attracted to in realtion to other things. A preference is your go-to option, but it doesn't make everything else an "absolutely not".
Think of it this way: Let's say you like cereal. Perhaps your favorite cereal is Cheerios. If Cheerios just happens to be your preference of cereal, does that mean you would never eat any other flavor? Probably not, it just means that you'd most likely eat it before another flavor.
The same can be applied to dating. Lets say you're usually attracted to yellow eyed gingers with green skin. If it's a preference, It just means you typically wouldn't date outside of your preference but if you found a special someone that's perhaps a blue eyed brunette with rainbow skin who is obviously outside of your preference but really just made you go "wow", you wouldn't turn them down just because they don't meet your preference.
"When you have a preference, everything else doesn't default to no. Everything else becomes a maybe or not likely."
What is isolation?
When it comes to dating: Racial isolation is when your sole reason for turning someone down is because of their race. People don't magically only date people within one race. There is always a reason whether it be logical or illogical. In many cases, isolation is caused due to actually being racist or prejudice because whether it be a concious thought or subconcious mentality, whoever the person may be is under the impression that everyone or a majority of indidivudals belonging to a certain group all are or all act a certain way. This would be stereotyping and limiting yourself to or from a certain with the belief that a certain group is either inferior/superior.
Excpetions: Often, it's not neccesarily directly correlated to race. I know a lot of people who simply stay within a group because they want children who look like them. While it's not a bad reason, it's still isolation. However, I don't think this would make you a bad or racist person.
What is attraction?
I think we've all got a good idea of what attraction is and what it means to be attracted to someone, so I'll spare you all the breakdown.
Rejection: It's common for us to hear
"I'm just not attracted to [race] guys"
or
"[race] girls just aren't attractive".
Now, I fully agree that simply not being attracted to an indidividual does not make you racist or sexist, but when you say things such as "I don't date [race] people" or "[race] people aren't attractive", you're categorizing every single last person in a race, and odds are, you haven't even met a majority of those people. Lets say you're usually attarcted to green people and you find a green person that you're not attracted to. You're probably not going to say that "I'm not attracted to you because you're green", so the same should be applied if perhaps you weren't attracted to a red even if you're not usually attracted to red people anyway. I personally think the best reponse would be
"I'm not attracted to you."
Physical attraction is definitely not something we choose, so we shouldn't just say I'm not attracted to you just because you're this or that race. I personally believe there are attractive people in every race, but of course, being attractive doesn't mean everyone is going to be attracted to you.
Compared to sexuality: If you're heterosexual, then you of course like the opposite sex, but that doesn't mean you can't recognize someone of the same sex as attractive.
The same could definitely be applied to race. You may think people are a certain race are visually attractive but if there's just no libido then there just is none.
If perhaps everyone you run into of a certain group just hasn't done it for you so far, then that's fine, but when you start categorizing the group and saying that it just would never happen because "they're...", then that's when it becomes a problem.
What's the big takeaway?
There are many messages you all could have percieved from this take. I think the biggest message I realized while writing this take is that we shouldn't categorize or judge entire groups of people, especially when it comes to choosing a possible life partner. I also wanted to stir up the pot and get people thinking about whether or not their preference really is a preference or just a way of justifiying isolation. I do hope my Take broadened your perspective.
. . . Thanks for reading! . . .
QOTD: Have you ever isolated yourself without any particular "logical" reason when it came to dating?
Disclaimer: This myTake is not directed towards any individual or group of people. All things mentioned have happen to people of various backgrounds. This is not a take meant to label anyone as racist or decide who anyone can or can't date. Its purpose is to give people a new perspective on how they view race, preference, and anything else along those lines.
What Girls & Guys Said
12 21I see what you're trying to do here. Another one who wants to make people feel guilty for dating within their race and preserve their beautiful identity.
Your declaimer is full of shit.
My wife is Russian and I am Filipino. We never give a damn what others think and that my friends is called love.
I hope the best for you two. Thanks for reading!
There's preferences and attractions, and there are deal breakers, I think. Personally,
Preference: Arabic women, Blond women, Ugandan women.
Attractions: green eyes, German accent, obsessive
Deal breakers: has a penis, believes in astrology, has a boyfriend, is fat.
Preferences are things that you know you look for in a partner. That is not to say you wouldn't date anyone else. Attractions are thing that you notice stand out in previous partners that you like. But perhaps you don't actively seek them like you would a preference. Deal breakers are Things that you are not willing to bend on. Race can be one of these.
obsessive?
Very Great take... Interesting points.
Thank you for reading! I glad you found the points interesting.
Yeah, Welcome...
When a man says " I don't hate Hispanic women" it simply means he would never date a woman who comes from a Hispanic background.
I am not going to automatically assume he is harbouring prejudice, hatred or xenophobia against Hispanic women.
The way I see it is a friendship can not blossom into love in the absence of the initial spark or instant chemistry.
date*
By saying he'd never date something still implies that there is something negative about them all, that they're all the same someway that turns him off.
or he is attracted to blonde hair and blue eyes that most Hispanic women don't have.
Dark or even really tan skin is a boner killer. That's it, plain and simple.
If a man won't date black or Asian girl. I wouldn't call him racist or anything it's his life, he do what he want really
I like your Take, your points are good.
I'm attracted to guys from a certain race and that is going to ruin my life and it only brings me problems. It's horrible!
I wish I wasn't attracted to them at all...
I don't think I'm isolating myself, I just think I'm attracted to the wrong type of people.
Thank you for reading! Why don't you surround yourself with a more diverse group of people and look for the beauty in different groups.
You're welcome! Unfortunately I live in a country where there's not much diversity and the majority of people I know belong to one group... So, maybe I have to wait until I'm able to move to another country.
What country are you in, and even if you can't surround yourself with more people now, it's great that you're trying. Maybe you could get a few penpals.
Can I message you here? It will be better for me.
Sorry I've taken so long to reply but yes, you can message me.
That's ok. Thanks, so I will message you.
isolation is okay. Nobody needs to have a good reason to date you.
I don't care if it's racist or not but I will not date black and arabic people
I'm a black guy and I'm very much not like the negative stereotypes... have u had bad experiences dating black men or seeing people u know date black men?
@Prof_Don I'm just don't attract to them physically, I'm friend with some black guy, I don't have any problem with them. I don't find them attractive. For arabic guy, I don't find them attractive and I don't like their personality, they are too loud and always complain about everything so
Not all arabic guys are chronic complainers, I've met quite a few arabic guys and I don't know where u got this cultural idea from! :-P As in not being attracted to black guys sexually, that is something that cannot be helped. I don't fault you for that. :)
@Prof_Don All the arabic guy I know ar like that so
You made some very good points!
Thank you for reading! I glad you found the points to be good ones.