Is a good idea to lose my virginity this way?

I'm a virgin (20y/o) and I have never felt sexual attraction unless I'm really into someone, which takes me a lot of time. The other day I got a bit drunk and although I was thinking straight I literally got horny and thought of having sex with a guy that was there, I met him and found him funny, cute and kinda attractive before that, but I barely know him, that never happens to me when I'm sober.

I was molested in childhood and that's why I'm so cautious with men, I'm afraid of feeling used, and sex without love is basically just using someone's body for pleasure. Now I wonder if maybe I'm repressing my sexual part and if losing my virginity in a night like that one would be a good idea.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Well obviously it comes down to what you decide. But from an outsiders view as much as a lot of us men would love women to think that way, it’s probably not a good idea. I think it’s better if you wait for that one special person. Someone who can sympathize or may empathize w what you’ve been through. To know that you are vulnerable, to take thing easy until you’re comfortable w trusting that person completely to give yourself up that way to someone else.

    • Thank you

  • If you understand that you can’t trade sex for love or commitment, and have sex because you want to have sex, then you can’t be “used”. It sounds like you are wanting sex for the pleasure of sex. That’s healthy. Are you on contraception?

    • I wanted to see if that would make me "careless" like other people in that aspect. Now that I think about it better I realize is not a good idea.

Most Helpful Girls

  • As long as you’re being safe if you really like him that way you should go for it. I’m a virgin now but I figure by the time I’m twenty I’ll be ready to have sex with the right guy.

    • Thank u

    • You’re welcome

  • If you are having sex outside marriage you are being used.

    • Thank u

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I was molested in childhood...

    I that case you are wasting you are wasting time here. Seek professional help. I'm not being mean, I'm serious.

    • I already worked on that, but in terms of life experiences I still find myself taking more precautions than people my age normally do, that's why I was wondering if a night like that would benefit me.

    • I appreciate your opening up about this. No, I don't think that a night like that is what you need... or what you deserve. At 20 years old, you are a young woman with endless time ahead of you. Hold out for the right guy.

    • Thank you a lot

  • It would undoubtedly be a bad idea to do that.

    • Thanks

  • That is hands down a terrible idea.

    • Thank you

  • It's slutty to lose your virginity in such a way, you want to be a slut?

    • No, I don't.

  • Just talking about your feelings that night, you wouldn't have been being used for sex, you would have been using him to satisfy yourself. You would have been the one making the choice to let him have sex with you.

  • No, you should have genuine feelings for somebody before you have sex. It is not like shaking hands.

    • Thank you

  • It's going to be something you remember for the rest of your life so you may want it to be special, but everyone is different.

    • Thank u

  • You can’t drink away your problems. You can find another way. I’m waiting until marriage.

    • thanks

  • No, please don't

    • Thank you