Is BDSM a healthy relationship?

Yes
Vote A
No
Vote B
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Make sure you and your partner are completely honest, open communication, and very clear limits (hard... absolute not happening, soft... not right now but might be interested in later, and no limit... things you are ok with) there are resources online that have lists that you can use that let you mark your choices, very useful to cover all or most. Also make sure you vet a dom or a sub to ensure you both have clear expectations. There are resources on how to spot a fake dom or sub all be it not all inclusive, but as in any relationship building trust is important before entering into a relationship. In bdsm it is even more important as there are usually more risky acts and vulnerability within those. Research acts that you want to experiment with and make sure you and your partner know the proper ways to perform (ie. Choking... its easy to have this end badly and crush a windpipe. You aren't actually cutting off the airflow during choking. You are cutting blood flow if done properly to cause light headedness.) And how to react to an emergency during an act (ie. Rope bondage or Shibari... emt shears in case you need to quickly release someone). I have been in the lifestyle for over 20 years and it is an amazing experience if you want it to be. It does require more communication and trust. Respect and trust are earned not taken. A dom may seem to have all the power and to an extent they do but the sub is the one thay chooses to given the dom the control and power as of is earned and take it back when it is lost. Bdsm is about abuse. There are resources that explain the difference. I am a sub and it is an release and escape from me having to have control and be more dominant in my daily life. There are different levels of isn't all about whips, chains and dungeons. There is anything from sensual, daddy or mommy/little girl or little boy, master/slave, and just dom/sub to 24/7 to only bedroom scenes. Only ones that decide what and how things are in a particular dynamic are the people in it. Don't be so quick to judge or make assumptions without doing ypur research. Don't mistake kinky with bdsm...50 shades of grey has stirred up interest and really is not the realistic view of the lifestyle

  • Two consenting adults doing something they both enjoy and consent to that is legal and "safe" is healthy. There are limits. Some people try to cross those limits and then things would be unhealthy. If you are putting your partners life in danger, I'd consider that unhealthy.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Like any other relationship, it can be healthy or it can be unhealthy. In order for it to be healthy, the couple must be compatible, and they must be able to communicate openly and honestly about what they want and don't want, and there must be respect between them. If that's the case, and both are into BDSM, then there's no reason why the relationship can't be healthy.

  • B. Bondage means physical restraints like you would use to kidnap or arrest a person. D. Domination.. Get over yourself you psychopath. Sadism. Pleasure derived from inflicting pain. Sick psychopath. Masochism. Pleasure derived from having pain inflicted on you.. poor thing, you need help.

    • Can I ask, if both parties agree to it and consent, what is the problem with it?

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What Girls & Guys Said

19 29
  • It's a healthy relationship only if both partners agree to it. And are satisfied with it.

  • If both parties are willing and enjoy it, then I don't see why not

  • Not always, but can be. I think it's mostly healthy.

  • Honestly, my impression is that once established a BDSM relationship seem to be *more* healthy in the long run because of the focus on communication that tend to be found in BDSM relationships, a focus that's more hit or miss with non-BDSM relationships.
    That said, both BDSM relationships and vanilla relationships can be both healthy and unhealthy...

  • Vote C:
    It can be.
    It is not, by definition, healthy, or unhealthy.

  • A relationship is a relationship, whether or not that relationship contains any BDSM aspects or not says nothing about the relationship as a whole.

  • As long as both partners respect each other's needs and don't become abusive or manipulative, sure.

  • Yes. This took me a while to wrap my head around so I talked to some women who are subs, and like to be hit, whipped, etc. They said they loved it, and are turned on by a man in power, and they've never been happier (most of them are married).

    That said, BDSM people are generally good at communication and at vetting their partners really well, because that's required for a good match. But any encounter can go wrong with the wrong person, or not enough communication.

  • Yes, but he needs to respect your limits otherwise it's just abuse.
    Maybe wait a few years as younger men don't always handle power very well.

  • If both partners agree and it is done in a trusting and respectful way than there is no issue. It's definitely not for every couple but if that is what works for you have at it.

  • Bit black and white there.. might be a healthy psychological release but then BDSM also includes scat. That shit's dangerous. I don't believe this a yes/no question.

  • Yes it can be

  • I think it can be, depending on how it's done. If all participants are happy, safe and consenting to all activities then there's not really an issue.

  • Well, a paraphilia by definition don't tend to be an healthy/normal thing.

  • If both people are into it and limits are being respected, yes.

  • Your sex life is amazing... 😂

    • That's exactly what occurred in my mind as well 😂

  • It depends on people involved. For bdsm relationship or any type of relationship to be healthy both the people involved should be honest, accepting and aware of their own and each others wants, needs and limits.

  • It can be. It just depends on if both people are comfortable with it

  • It can be

  • It can be very healthy. If don't properly, bdsm can bring you very close. The issue is, there are a lot of ways to do it wrong, and that's not healthy. Watch 50 shades a grey for an example of what NOT to do. That movie is the worst

    • "Watch 50 shades a grey for an example of what NOT to do. That movie is the worst" 😂😂😆😆 Very nicely said :D

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