Is dry humping acceptable on a third third date or does it turn the guy off, think the girl to be cheap?

Anonymous

A guy I am seeing invited me to his place for a third date. He cooked for me, we shared a bottle of wine, and then watched a movie together. The evening ended with us making out and then dry humping. We didn't have sex and no clothes came off. Do you think this would turn the guy off and make him perceive me as easy? I haven't heard from him much since the date, but he has been travelling for work.

A girl who agrees to dry humping on the third date is still girlfriend/ wife material

Vote A

A girl who agrees to dry humping on the third date is a slut

Vote B

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Girl Guy

2 0

Most Helpful Girls

justbanANNAz Editor
+1 y
look... sometimes things like that just happen in the heat of the moment, so I'm not gonna judge and say what kind of person i think u r, because i dont believe I'm in a place to do so. all ill say is just remember to be safe and remember the foundations of ur connection. dont let the physical overcome the emotional and make sure he isn't using you.

intimacy can be great, but if it begins to become the main thing u think about, then u know u have to be careful. good luck x
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litost Xper 6
+1 y
firstly it doesn't make you a slut by a longgggg shot, but is this 3rd date the 3rd time you two have ever met? or have you know eachother longer? if its the 3rd time you've met its a little forward but as @marshmellowking said it takes two to tango and it certainly shouldn't change his opinion of her
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- Asker
  +1 y
  It was in fact the third time we were meeting. But neither of us came...
vishna Master
+1 y
I probably wouldn't do it. But my life is my life, and yours is yours. And as long as the guy isn't some douche who is going to lead you on and bail after he has sex with you then why worry.
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BillieJean1070 Guru
+1 y
I never got into dry humping... I went from making out, fingering, oral right to intercourse.
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Most Helpful Guys

Anonymous
+1 y
I don't think your problem here is "too easy." The third-date, "let's do a movie in" plan is pretty much code for, "come over to my place and let's fool around." I'm not saying sex is expected here, but I'd think in addition to dry humping, some boob play and a hand job would've probably been fine.
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Jager66 Guru
+1 y
I love dry humping and think it doesn't get the love it deserves. It's almost as fun as sex but like no risk.
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What Girls & Guys Said

2 3

Marshmellowking Xper 6
+1 y
It takes two to tango lol
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Shaft50 Guru
+1 y
It's not like you pre-meditated the whole thing... you were both into each other physically and it took both of you to dry hump... tell me, did you think of him as a bit easy for doing that to you?
0 0 1 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  Good point. To be honest, I got caught up in the moment, and in hindsight it went farther than I would have usually taken it. The level of inebriation from the wine helped too. And I did wonder since he lead it to get that far, whether all he is looking for from me is sex. He has been in touch through text though, albeit rather breif...
- Shaft50
  +1 y
  Do you think he is interested in something more than sex or does he seem a bit more distant than before?
- Asker
  +1 y
  We have only been dating a couple of weeks. And the day after this third date where we got a bit physical, he was travelling for work. He returned for a few days and then left on a personal trip for 10 days. I don't hear from him when he travels. But otherwise he texts me almost everyday, just to check in. About whether he seems distant, he usually would check if I got home ok after a date. But that night after I left his place, he didn't... So I'm not sure.
- Show All Show Less
- Asker
  +1 y
  Our connection was definitely beyond just sexual though. When we started fooling around and I indicated that I didn't want to take it too far, he told me to set the pace. And he liked me, found me smart, funny and beautiful and wouldn't judge me by how fast or slow I wanted to go. Plus he doesn't seem like the player type at all. He has pictures of his family all around his place. And I get the feeling he really wants to start a family of his own.
- Shaft50
  +1 y
  I suppose it might be risky, but express that you're still interested and see if he is too, or whether just temporarily distracted by other priorities... you can be subtle about it. Ask when you can see him next or just say you would love to get together soon.
- Asker
  +1 y
  Actually last week when he texted (in the brief period he was back,) I told him I had a great time the last time I saw him. And he responded that he had a lovely time too and suggested a few times through the conversation that we do it again after he is back.
- Shaft50
  +1 y
  Awesome... now leave the ball in his court and don't stress about it. What you did was mutual, with both of you party to it... not slutty and it would appear he didn't think so either
- Asker
  +1 y
  Thanks Shaft50. That helped. I'm rather conservative (and he seems like it too) when it comes to sex. So this incident was rather out of character and had me worried. Yeah I will just see how it goes when I see him again.
- Shaft50
  +1 y
  Not a problem... I'm glad it helped. :-)
- Asker
  +1 y
  @shaft50 so now it's been 2 days since he is back in town, and he hasn't contacted me. The last I heard from him were some intermittent texts while he was on his trip. But not heard a word from him since he returned. Can I safely assume that he is not interested? Sorry, if this is a silly question... But I'm just rather Perplexed and don't know who else to ask...
- Shaft50
  +1 y
  Pm me...
- Asker
  +1 y
  I think I can't, since my XPer level is not high enough. I just joined the site.
- Shaft50
  +1 y
  Really? mi thought you could message whenever
- Asker
  +1 y
  Yes, looks like it has to be 2+ mine is just 1
- Shaft50
  +1 y
  It may be that he has something else that he is engaged in that has his attention... what else do you know of his life?
- Asker
  +1 y
  Not all that much. He is living in my city as an expat, and had gone home and then to another city, for a friend's wedding. He seems very close to his family. Yes, it might just be that he is jet lagged, cos the travel would have been a bit much. That combined with getting back to work (he is a professional) couldn't have been easy.
- Asker
  +1 y
  But I can't shake the feeling that if he were interested he would have at the very least said a hi through text...
- Asker
  +1 y
  Thanks a lot for taking the time to help me by the way. It is much appreciated.
- Shaft50
  +1 y
  Not a problem, @Asker. Okay, it may be as innocuous as him being caught up with work. Jet lag, though, doesn't generally take two weeks to recover from. I suppose, as an impartial party, I'm also looking at the possibility that he has an existing or new relationship that he doesn't want discovered or upset...
- Asker
  +1 y
  Actually he is only back for 2 days, so might still be recovering from jet lag. I did consider that possibility, not existing relationship, but perhaps a new one... I guess I just have to move on at this point. Won't help to keep guessing...
- Shaft50
  +1 y
  Text him and say that you are going to watch a DVD later this week and ask if he's cool to hang out... see what his response is... that way, you leave the ball in his court, you can gauge where he is at and how open he is to continue seeing you, without you putting yourself out there too much and committing to something
- Asker
  +1 y
  That's an idea. I have tickets to a play the following weekend. Think I should invite him to that? I would like to see him again. But I don't want to chase him...
- Asker
  +1 y
  And if his interest is just lukewarm or low, I would like to know, so I could move on...
- Shaft50
  +1 y
  Yeah, let him know that you have tickets, but word the text in a way that give the impression that he's not the only one receiving the message, that you are spoilt for choice (eg. "only one other ticket so first in, best dressed"). If he is keen on you and isn't committed to anyone else, he'll make the effort, unless a relative has passed away...
- Asker
  +1 y
  That's amazing advice! Thanks so much.
- Shaft50
  +1 y
  No problem... let me know how that works out...
annoyymouse Xper 7
+1 y
Hey, things happen. If both of you are into it, then what's the harm?
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AngryHorny Xper 7
+1 y
You showed him the carrot, but he hasn't tasted it yet. I approve.
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Anonymous
+1 y
A
but... #3 is usually sex, isn't it?
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