Is friend with benefits safe and common?

[Luna1998]

I have seen lots of people here talking about friends with benefits and their complex relationships, so I wonder if its a common thing? If so then how did you find your FWB? Is it safe to share your personal stories with them? Or its just for sex

[Anonymous]

I remember having one girl as a friends with benefits in the past when i was a teenager
. I met her in school.
It all started with makeing out. Then that turned into her un doing my belt to blow me. And it just exploded out of control after that.

we were friends with benefits for 4 years. On and off.
i know she was doing stuff with other guys too to not get attached to me or them.
to switch it up.
but when she was with me. She was all mine. Sexualy. And friend wise.

We would talk, and tell eachother everything, all our worries. Problems, hopes and dreams, etc...

She was the only person i was hooking up with at the time.
and i did get attached and i told her.

It turned into a relationship. that didn't last very long. We started to argue a lot. And broke up.

But we still hooked up after we broke up. Sexy we were on the same page
Just not when it came to a relationship.

she wanted to get back together a couple
years ago, And give it another shot.
But i got another girlfriend by then and am still with this same girl today

We lost touch. And i found out she got engaged recently.

so that ship sailed for bolth of us. But it was fun when we were teenagers.
Good sex. Good stories and memories il remember forever. .

friends with benefits. is common, Safe. Depends on how many other people that person is seeing.

if its only you its safer The less the better. The more someones sleeps around the more likely they can catch something and give it to you without even knowing.

looking back at it my situation was fun. But boy was it a mess.
But id do it all over again if i could.

[abc3643]

No good will come from it.

Don't get involved. If you do, it's a matter of time before you come back here and ask a question about your Friends With Benefits drama...

And, when you do, I will answer that question with this:
====================================

Congratulations!

Your question is today's Question of the Day illustrating that Friends With Benefits is an illusion because eventually one of them will get emotionally involved as if in a couple.

It's not a question of "if" it's going to happen, but "when".

If it is any consolation, in December 1988 just before I turned 26, I was involved in this intense 2.5 week F W B situation (*) with my roommate. I was very emotionally involved, but, for her, I was just a convenient lay between more "serious BF"s.

So, was I a stupid fool? Yes and no. I knew better, but I wanted what I got into and paid the price. I learned through The School of Hard Knocks just like you are...

(*) This is long before "Friends With Benefits" became "a thing". No one said that 30+ years ago let alone thought it because it would be considered an embarrassment to sink to that level. Apparently, being a slut or manwhore doesn't matter in today's "hook-up culture".


==================


SO!

Avoid getting that award and avoid F W B.

[itsmyownname]

I'm not ready for a relationship yet but I really like sex. It can be really good for both, but only if they're honest and don't lie about their intecions. I guess the longest friends with benefits I had was for 2 years but it didn't end well (because we lived together?) and another one was also like 2 years but with a lot of on and off situations
I don't think it's something for everyone, but it's definetly better than being in a relationship with someone you only like to fuck and it's great if you have someone you can trust but don't be responsibility for him/her..

[itsmyownname]

intentions *

[Luna1998]

How do you manage to control your feeling? Like not getting attach to him or jealous?

[itsmyownname]

It was hard with the one I was living with, but that's a different storie. But I've never fall in love with one of them. I guess it's because I knew what I wanted and we talked about it. Honesty is soo important! It helps a lot.

[itsmyownname]

Do you have any experience with this?

[Luna1998]

I see, thanks for your advice!

[Luna1998]

Nope! I am just interest in it

[itsmyownname]

Okay great. If you're thinking about trying it out, maybe with someone you're physically attracted to, you should do it. But only if you don't have to lie to yourself (or him/her) about your feelings :)

[Luna1998]

The thing is I mainly think that guys that I have feeling to are attractive 😂

[itsmyownname]

Well than you can focus on a relationship. I feel like "fwb" is mostly great for people who don't want a relationship and mostly hurtful for people who easily fall in love.. God luck with everything :))

[Luna1998]

Thank you, I will try figure it out but I do like the idea of not attaching relationship, might try it when I got a chance

[Cherokeehp]

I’ve had a couple friends with benefits relationships. Most of them ended on an ok note. There was only one that ended on a bad note and that was cause he caught feelings for me. I think it’s safe to share personal stories. They’re still you’re friend. You just also get physical benefits.

[Luna1998]

Are they mainly your friends before you have a physical relationship with?

[Cherokeehp]

I had two that I was really good friends with when we started getting sexual. And I’ve had two that were more like acquaintances.

[Cherokeehp]

Just to be clear, I didn’t have penetrative sex with all of them.

[Luna1998]

Just oral then?

[Cherokeehp]

Two of them it was just oral and hand stuff, and two of them it was penetrative sex.

[Luna1998]

How did it start tho? Just ask?

[Cherokeehp]

I have a few personal stories. I guess my first experience with friends with benefits was with a guy named Mark. I had just gotten dumped because I was a really bad kisser and really bad at sex. I met Mark on the street while he was walking his dog. We hit it off, and I ended up asking him to teach me how to kiss. I ended up cutting school to go to his house on a regular basis. We would just make out and touch each other doing hand stuff and then he’d cook me some food. This went on for a while. We never had sex but it was based purely off our physical interactions. My second experience was with a guy named Rasheed. He was actually my good friend of for like a year and a half. I sent him pictures to ask his opinion of my prom dress. Apparently he thought I looked damn good cause he sent back a paragraph telling me how sexy I looked and that he would give me head any time anywhere. So I took him up on his offer. My senior year of high school I had an abbreviated roster so I got out of school early. I’d go to his house once I’d left school. He has really big house and had an entire floor to himself. He’d go down on me, I’d give him handjobs and let him touch me. And then we’d cuddle on his couch. The third was the worst. He was a friend of a friend. I thought he was cute so I told him one day I was gonna fuck him. And then I did. It was a lot of sneaking around. I lost interest in him so we stopped. Then I went to college. I met a guy and I thought he was nice. He became my best friend on campus and we spent a lot of time together. Then one day I texted him that my classes got cancelled and that I was bored. He responded by offering to go down on me. I accepted. It escalated from there. We were just fucking for a while until I decided I liked him and now we’re dating.

[Cherokeehp]

Sorry bout the long paragraph. I like telling my stories.

[Luna1998]

Dont be sorry! I like to read people stories, and yours sound interesting on how easy guys offer you head and sex. I never have sex so I just wanna know how thing really starts and how it ends

[Cherokeehp]

I’m pretty sure guys kinda always want sex. You just have to be willing to accept the invitation. I was going through a painful break up and I got kinda crazy with all the sex.

[Luna1998]

Lol never get the invitations or im just dumb 😂

[Cherokeehp]

Do you associate with a lot of men? In my case I’ve always been a little tomboyish and so most of my friends have always been guys. You can’t have a FRIENDS with benefits without any male friends.

[bklynbadboy1]

@Cheokeehp Well said!

[Cherokeehp]

@bklynbadboy1 That’s just my personal experience with that kind of situation.

[Luna1998]

I do have lots of guy friends 😂 in various ages as well but its just I dont think none of us can work it to that stage

[bklynbadboy1]

@Cherokeehp Yeah but I was spot on that really was some good advice

[Cherokeehp]

@bklynbadboy1 welp thanks.

[jaybee281]

Mine was with a very close friend we stayed like that for about a year until she started liking some dude and felt guilty about having sex with me (now she's his gf).. Not gonna deny i miss it like she lives 5 minutes away from my house with quarantine it would have been perfect in our case there was no drama at all even though people (most of our mutual social circle) used to tell me that she liked me but nothing happened so I'm good

[wingattebaby16]

friends with benefits is supposed to be just for sexual relief.

I have had 2 friends with benefits at the same time. When one was busy, I saw the other.

It was all about sex... Then the older friends with benefits (55yo) developed feelings for me and it went sour from there.

It is a common thing and happens more than you think.

I will share with you and you alone how I got involved with the friends with benefits who was 55 when I was 20yo... PM me privately.

too many men on GAG read what I write about this stuff, the blood rushes to their genitals and then their brain is deprived of blood, causing stupidity and often Death...

[Lliam]

I think friends with benefits are safe and very common. In looking back, I guess all my relationships with girlfriends could have been described as friends with benefits. We fucked like wild monkeys but they weren't the center of my life. The only thing I wouldn't put up with, myself, would be a friends with benefits who had other sexual partners while we were partners. I never cheated on them either. In that sense, I'm hung up on monogamy. I'm not into open relationships.
I was very close with all my girlfriends and we shared a lot about ourselves with each other.

[AzureGirl]

Friends with benefits is no strings attached. It’s just sex. And from what I’ve seen usually someone ends up getting feelings or tries to be possessive or controlling of the other person.

[Luna1998]

Thats what I am afraid of 😂

[SixFootSexy]

Common, yes... Safe, not really.

[Agape93]

Safe, depends on the partner. But it’s pretty common

[Luna1998]

Most started as friends then friends with benefits am I right?

[Agape93]

Possibly. That’s how it was for me

[reptocarl2]

Don’t do it

[Luna1998]

Is it bad?

[reptocarl2]

They all end badly and they all end

[one1wild00]

It depends on both you and the other person.

[Jerre]

It is more common than most people believe. The key to friends with benefits is having multiple partners. I currently have 5 so I don’t see the same girl all the time, so less chance of getting attached. We also all agree we can see other partners. I love the arrangement. The girls love to fuck as much as I do so we totally enjoy our time together.

[andy530]

Yes to both