Is he insinuating he wants to have sex with peoples mad not me?

[Anonymous]

My fiancé doesn’t show a lot of affection I need a lot of affection. He’s won’t eat me out for reasons he says he won’t really finger me or anything wild we just do the same position a lot and that’s that. I suck him I jerk him bc I enjoy but I’m getting bored and burnt out I’m still madly in love emotionally.

This morning (he goes to work) I wanna cuddle he’s sleeping then he wakes up doesn’t really cuddle me then right at the end when he’s about to go to work he cuddles me.. no sex just a quick cuddle to get out the way it feels. I say “I feel u don’t care or show affection “ he’s like I’m asleep and I’m trying to now. but my point is that I feel he only cares when he cares. I said “I feel you use me for sex “ he said not true if I used you for sex I would have sex with u right when I wake up. Is this really messed up to say?

[MrOracle]

Why in the world would you be considering marriage with a man who you are clearly incompatible with? Do you think this is going to change or improve? NO! This is who he is. And this can't possibly be anything new - I suspect you've known he was this way for a very long time, and you've tried to ignore the situation because of whatever other benefits you were getting out of the relationship, but you are setting yourself up for a disaster.

There are women who don't want the kind of affection that you crave, and there are men who love to give women that kind of affection. You need to end this relationship and find a man who WANTS to give you that kind of affection, and let him find a woman who doesn't need much physical affection, so you can both be happy.

You need to start picking men based on what is REALLY important to you - not on looks or money or status, but on values and morals and attitudes, because THOSE are the things that will really affect your life, day-in and day-out. I don't care how handsome or successful this guy is, you are clearly miserable with him, so those things didn't make you happy. Learn that lesson, and get with a man who WILL make you happy - and accept that you aren't ever going to get everything you want in a single person. You're going to have to give up something, so decide what's important to have, and let the other things go, and find THAT guy.

[DonkeyDan]

Relationships and sex shouldn't be this difficult, and certainly shouldn't be making you feel like this.
It really sounds like he doesn't actually value you at all, and you are looking to marry this guy?
You want this for the rest of your life?

[PrettyPriya]

Have you spoken to him or communicated your unhappiness with your intimate activities?

[Asker]

Yes multiple times

[PrettyPriya]

What does he say about it? Just trying to get some more info to give the best advice I can.

[Asker]

He says he will work on it and he always says he understands or that he feels maybe it’s to much but he always does and goes back to not really being good

[Asker]

The other night he said if we wanted to 69 and it was a start

[Asker]

He’s been like this for a bit in the beginning it was amazing and it the middle of times in our relationship it’s good but it’s in burst

[Asker]

He says it can be a emotional thing like he feels upset or stressed

[Asker]

But tells me he was worse with his ex so I don't know sorry for blowing you up hahaha

[PrettyPriya]

Ok, sounds to me like repetition of certain things is making him bored. So, change it up. Spice things up. Think of things you both might enjoy. I'm no expert on it but roleplaying is popular. If you were able to get him to start changing a bit, it is because you are changing it up. I would go with that. It in no way means that he wants to sleep with others. Don't get down on yourself or think you are the problem. Intimacy becomes kind of automatic and plain after a while with someone. Just keep looking for ideas that might pique his interest and you would both want to do.

[Asker]

Like I feel at that point I’m the only on making the sex or our sex life alive he doesn’t even care to it

[PrettyPriya]

That is frustrating, but if you introduce some things that get him excited, he may gain that interest back. You know, there also could be medical related issues going on.

[Avicenna]

That’s really messed up

[In_Trance]

I think you need professional help

[CharlieDMX]

You know... It seems to me you are unhappy. Yes, madly in love, but unhappy.

That will not change in marriage. Get the hint and dump him