Is he not interested in me anymore?

[Anonymous]

So we’ve been together for about 1yr 1/2. I’m 36 he’s 43. At first our sex life was amazing everyday maybe even 2-3 a day every other day. Yes I know the beginning of the relationship is always more exciting but now 17 months in we live together are in the process of buying a house and I really honestly don’t think actually I know he’s not cheating on me. But sex life is just maybe once every other week (him) I want it whenever and sometimes I try and he says he’s just tired. Is our relationship going down the drain or am I overreacting? I haven’t been in a relationship since 2013 and was married for 10 years it’s a little different. Help?

[bowenw]

I'm sure he works hard at his job, but most guys can always find time and energy for sex - and it's a fantastic stress relief. Perhaps if the sex is always at the same time of day, in same place, in same position, etc., it's not as exciting as it was when it was new. Try different things, for example some toys from a sex shop, role playing, sex games, or watching porn for inspiration. Think about having sex in different locations such as in the shower, kitchen, outdoors, watching TV, in a vehicle, etc. Try tying him up and having your way with him and vice versa. If you have a bush, shave it or trim it. If you usually have intercourse, give him a hand job or blowjob. Swallow his cum if you don't usually do that provided you're both okay with it. Invite him to eat you to orgasm. Be open with what you want him to do. If he still isn't interested it could be he is cheating, masturbating a lot, needs counselling, or has a medical issue.

[Asker]

This sounds very helpful bc yes we have kids so it’s always in bed same stuff everytime. I’m going to give this a try!

[bowenw]

I'm curious to hear how it goes. Best of luck.

[AustinMan]

Talk to him but without judgement or recriminations.

How to Talk to Your SO About Sex ↗

[Asker]

Thank you

[AustinMan]

If you want to chat about how it turns out, I'm here or on DM.

[DannyUk2017]

Actually that means he is not "interested" nomore... funny how some get 2-3 times a day and i'm on standby since 5 months now, lol... but to be honest, you need to "confron't him about it, i mean to have a partner like that... that is sex starved... mmm... i would be like "come here"... no wonder the "other partner " usually ends " in someone else's arms sooner or later...

[Asker]

I have confronted him he just says he’s tired. He’s a cowboy/rancher I get his job is tiring but don’t you ever want your lady especially when she’s throwing herself at ya?

[DannyUk2017]

Don't want my lady? Lol... no matter how tired i am, if she starts teasing me... my Sleep and her Sleep is down the drain... no matter if... lets say we get to bed around 10pm and end up 3am...😈😁😁

[nachosaresexy]

Maybe a testosterone issue? Think he'd be willing to talk to his doc about it?

Also, think of ways to keep things fun/exciting. Could be a quick weekend trip to help hit the reset button. And are you into lingerie at all? Switch things up with different positions, different foreplay, etc.

Any other ideas?

[Asker]

I don’t hope it’s that but I hope its that instead of him not “finding me attractive“ anymorez. I mean like I said I said he works hard and he drinks too but I just don’t get how his work or drinking hasn’t changed from before but now it’s affecting him to not want to get intimate bc he’s “tired”

[Berethor]

That's a drastic fall, now you having it only once every other week? that sounds very low.

[Anonymous]

Give him some blue chew or take testosterone or something