Is he trying to control me by saying you have to prove that you want to marry me so you should have sex with me?

[Anonymous]

He has been angry with me today. First he didn’t invite me to fishing and claimed I cannot swim at all because he was in a boat fishing. But I told him many times I can swim. So since I live abroad I replied like “I move permanently and I won’t come back” - later I told him I regretted what I said. He insisted that I should go away forever and shouldn’t come back. I told him many times that I didn’t mean it that way. After insisting I cannot swim and I won’t able to swim
at all.. and he said you should prove that you want to marry me. So he said let me f^Kk you tomorrow then I know you want to marry me. After an angry conversation like this. I think it is stupid to have sex. I am disappointed in him for being angry with me and then he wants to have sex with me. Is he trying to control me? Help! I need a life advice.!!

[OlderAndWiser]

1. No, when you mention sex, it should be in the sexuality category. It is a little easier to keep some of the minors away from such questions when they are all segregated under that category.

2. Yes, he is trying to control you, manipulate you, guilt trip you into having sex. I assume you have not previously had sex with him. Is that because of religious beliefs or cultural practices?

[Asker]

We had once. But it was a very painful sex intercourse. I bled for 2 days straight. Yes, our families are against sex outside marriage. The sex was forced to be honest.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why do you remain with someone who disrespects you? Is this an arranged union?

[Asker]

It was a recommended thing.. sort of yes sort of no.

[OlderAndWiser]

If he treats you this way now, how do you think he will treat you once you are married and he "owns" you?

[Asker]

I see what you mean

[Alexandrubaschet08]

Wird situation.
I agree that you need to prove you want to marry him.
But sex should not be something to obligat a person to do. In this situation this is abuse.
In your place i will go and try to finde somebody else

[DizzyDesii]

He sounds like my ex back when we were 15. Dont fall for his BS. He should fck off so that he knows you dont want to marry him

[DizzyDesii]

Ig he feels being 30+ gives him reason to get sex and try before buying. He better go find someone whos “easy” then

[Asker]

Did you know that he said that there are 20 women texting him? And he rejects them he said..🥺

[Asker]

So he said He is not sad so he can afford to sex he means..

[DizzyDesii]

Yea he sounds like he's saying “give me sex or i’ll seek it elsewhere.” Thats what my ex said to me at 15 and i gave in like an idiot. But im older now. Dont you give in. he's not worth it

[G3tAClue]

That is his way of manipulating you into having sex. Get away from that jerk, he’s not worth your time.

[ellkell]

He sounds toxic

[NarutoUzumaki007]

yes he is controlling
you have nothing to prove. If you don't want it now , you don't want it

if anything , he should be the one who should be proving. If he wants to marry you , he should wait till marriage. Tell him to prove this

[NarutoUzumaki007]

seriously ask him this

[dudeinohio]

I'd dump him. Seriously.

[Brownisback]

Do u really want an honest answer? Only if u would take the advice

[Anonymous]

Yes. Ultimatums are always attempts at control.