Is it a bad sign if my boyfriend won't wait to have sex with me? Always masturbates before I can be able to see him?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I are in our early 20s. 23 and 24. We have a pretty active sex life. I give it to him as much as my life will allow at this point since I'm working a lot and have taken on new responsibilities in my personal life. But we have only went from having sex everyday to like 4 or 5 days a week instead. Well, my boyfriend has always been a heavy masturbater, which is fine but I don't really understand why since we've always had so much sex together. But now I've discovered something that hurts my feelings even more. While im work, we sometimes have sexy conversations, not sexting exactly, but we'll talk about having sex later that evening and he always tells me he will save me a load for later because he knows I love creampies. (Birth control is being used.) But almost everytime I get off work and can come see him, he has already masturbated. I see the evidence laying around. As in he leaves his wet underwear or cum rag in the bathroom. but then he lies to me and says that he saved me a load. He knows what time I get off everyday and he knows I'm enthusiastic about him waiting for me. I want him to be as horny for me as I am for him.. but is this a sign he's not super into the sex I guess? He lies about masturbating and won't wait on me to get home, even tho he says he will. I'm starting to feel kind of unattractive or bad at sex or something.. does it kinda sound like he prefers masturbating over me?

[tfan1]

He has no patience - like the little kids at Christmas see the presents under the tree. They just can’t wait. So they go back to the picture of the toy or game or whatever and they can’t get it out of their mind because they hope that’s what their presents are.

In his and your case - he can’t wait for you to get home so he masturbates. He’s lying to you so he won’t seem such a bad guy. If the roles were reversed - you might be masturbating too because you can’t wait for him to come home and have sex.

[Asker]

Yeah but he's watching porn. And I'm not sending him pics of myself or anything because I'm at work. Lol I'm literally just talking about having sex with him later and he tells me he'll wait but doesn't.

[Asker]

Does it sound like he prefers porn over me?

[tfan1]

Go to the ladies room, lock yourself into a stall and then send him some 😉 pics of yourself.

[Truthatanycost]

You can't look at a potential addiction in that way. Although it will always feel personal, it is not. Ultimately the dopamine rush from thousands of different women and extreme content is why some men will choose it over a real partner. I could be wrong. You must have some idea whether you think he is addicted to porn or not. I do not believe in it, do not watch it and avoid it at all cost. It is demonic and free for a reason. It can ruin lives! But this culture will always paint it as harmless normal fun!

[Truthatanycost]

He's probably addicted to porn and hooked on the dopamine hit he gets from the vast number of different types of women in it. Porn is designed to destroy and prevent you from reaching your full potential. It's free for a reason. But even without this, what are you both doing? Are you merely going through the motions that society sets out for couples to do, or is there an end game?

[Asker]

We have very good sex. I let him do anal, I'm loud, I ride forward facing and reverse cowgirl, I kiss him, I blow him, I let him eat me out, we try each others kinks, I let him pull my hair and get rough, etc. I would like to say it's not boring sex.. but does it honestly sound like he prefers porn over me?

[Guy13]

At least he is no F- another girl or guy in this world...

[Asker]

Does it kinda sound like he isn't very into our sex life tho if he's lying about masturbating and not waiting for me?

[Guy13]

Blow Job... I would wait if it killed me !!

[Asker]

Yeah I guess he's not very into our sex life then. He never waits to have sex with me or blowjobs.

[stratford]

This is interesting. A couple of questions to help me undersstand:

How long does he normally last during PIV sex?

Does he still give you a nice large load of cum?

Does he have a problem getting an erection?

Have you ever asked him to wait so you can watch him jerk off?

[Asker]

He usually lasts around 5 or 10 minutes during PIV if we change positions He gives me a large load sometimes, but a lot of the time it's a bit small and watery. Could this mean I don't exactly turn him on? And no, he has no problem getting an election. He gets hard very easily when he's with me. And yes I've tried telling him to wait for me and to save a big load for me and he lies and says he will, but he doesn't. He still masturbates while I'm at work. What could be wrong with our sex? Does it sound like he's not exactly attracted to me or our sex life? I thought our sex life was great, but maybe I'm doing something wrong?

[stratford]

Sounds like he has a sex addiction and wants it all the time. If he masturbates but still wants to have sex with you, then he is very attracted to you and not just using you for sex. One thing you could try is to let him do particularly kinky things that you know he likes, but only if he promises to save a big load for you and not masturbate. That might encourage him to see the benefits. A few other questions: Are there things he wants to do that you haven't let him yet? Does he watch porn and is there stuff he watches in porn that you don't do? How large is his penis? Do you like a really large load of cum and where do you like to receive it?

[Asker]

I like creampies. I usually want the load in my pussy, but I let him do anal and I give him bjs pretty often as well. And I have tried every kink he has told me about and I've even thrown in some of my kinks to try as well. We have a pretty good sex life. We switch up positions, I let him pull my hair, hit my ass, eat me out, and I let him do any position he wants. Our favorite is doggy. But I don't get why he masturbates so much. Another thing I have caught him doing is masturbating AFTER we have sex. That can't be normal right? He cums in my pussy or ass or mouth every time we have sex. Why would he be masturbating after sex too? It probably sounds like he's not satisfied with sex with me, right?

[Asker]

And his penis is a great size. Like 6 or 7 inches. And I don't know what kind of porn he watches. He immediately hides it wjen I walk in on him. I just feel so insecure right now over this. Every comment I get says it's him and not me, but I can't help but feel like I'm not satisfying him. Why else would he be masturbating like this?

[Asker]

And he knows I'll have sex with him anytime in the day as long as I'm not at work, so it's not because he "has a higher sex drive than me."

[stratford]

Sounds like you have a great sex life and he is very lucky to have such an open minded partner. I would encourage him to share his porn preferences with you, even if he doesn't want to watch them together. If you are both open minded and he won't share what he is watching, perhaps he is hiding something he is worried might upset you. Either because it is taboo or becuase it might make you feel bad. When he masturbates after you've had sex, is he doing that infront of you? Or does he go to another room and do it over porn?

[Asker]

He waits until I am alseep after sex. What am I doing wrong? Could it be something that I can't fix so easily which is why he won't tell me anything? Like maybe a loose, bad vagina?

[stratford]

Would you be ok to PM me so I can chat to you about this?

[Dargil]

Not necessarily. He may want repeats or may cum to easily. I often do it in the morning shower to lower my night libido.

[FilmGuy93]

You have nothing to worry about. He’s doing that to last longer with you

[BJP21]

Thats the issue right there is the porn. he's spent all his sex energy. What I would do is see what kind of fantasies he's into, it could change for the better if you reenact it in the bedroom.

[Luckycharms12]

Probably working him up so much he has to play

[Asker]

Yeah but he's watching porn. And I'm not sending him pics of myself or anything because I'm at work. Lol I'm literally just talking about having sex with him later and he tells me he'll wait but doesn't.

[Luckycharms12]

I'd wait myself touching yourself is boring but each to their own

[Asker]

I guess he just prefers porn or masturbating over me then. Lmao.

[Luckycharms12]

Don't think so he gets you anyway

[CharlieDMX]

It is a problem when he would not have sex with you because he prefers to masturbate. This is not the case. Maybe he tends to be a premature ejaculator and masturbating before sex helps him not disappoint in bed. If when you have sex he does not shoot a big load, it would be time to get him to be honest, but not in a confrontational manner

[Asker]

Sometimes he doesn't shoot a very big load during sex. Should I be concerned? What could be the problem here? Maybe I'm not turning him on enough or he prefers porn over me?

[CharlieDMX]

If you also have sex often, that is normal. It would be a problem if he refused sex with you, or if he didn't finish while doing it

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he is just a horny guy with too much time on his hands

[Asker]

So it doesn't sound like he prefers masturbating over my pussy? Because that's what it feels like.. it feels like my pussy isn't worth waiting on..

[Opinion Owner]

No he is just too horny to wait