Is it a red flag to be a virgin a 28 years old and to have never had the courage to ask a girl out or make a move?

I'll be honest cause that's all that I can be now. My name is ishi. I am 28 years old and I am still a virgin. Never had my first kiss either. Still completely green an untouched. Not sure how to explain how this has happened only way to explain it is that I never really had the courage or the self confidence to ask a girl out or even make myself known, I don't blame anyone but myself. I don't wish to make you all read a big thing so I'll end here and just ask your honest opinion please don't be afraid to speak the first thoughts. Thank you all for your time and have a wonderful day/night.

If you would like to know just ask. I won't bite... much. lol. Also yes I know my username doesn't help 😆 just can't find out how to change it while working of self esteem. Also not sure if this question belongs more in dating or sexuality category?

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Superb Opinion

  • I think it would be a red flag for a very specific group of people who value having a high sex partners count.
    Do you view people as better than you for having a higher body count?
    Another way to view it is, do you value promiscuity over celibacy? Do you value having sex with as many people as possible over having that one person in your life? Don't worry no answer is wrong here.

    What I'm trying to say is, start from a foundation. Find out the rules of the game and play them. Knowing and acknowledging them will give you a starting point from which you can improve.

    • Answering questions in order you asked em. 1. Yes in a because the have had more experience and figured out what they want in that area and know how to perform. 2. I don't value either I believe to just have fun and live life. 3. Now that's a tough one for me I would have to say value having that one but I also feel I'll disappoint in the area of performing due to having no experience in that area or even in dating. Finding the rules is a tough one for me too when I can't even get pass that mental block of just acting myself and just try to be just a friend to them.

    • Fear of preforming is fairly common, yeah. I was primarily talking about sex here, not dating. Finding the one mean sifting through rocks to find the right one, hoping that it'd be a diamond. To understand the rules, one way is to observe others. Technically you already know that you're crippling shy. I guess the proper mindset, for gaining experience, would be don't view every woman as a possible partner, sexual or emotional. In my case, I'm like you. I'm a virgin, didn't find anyone to do any of the "fun" things. I also don't put myself out there. The only difference is that I don't place sex on a pedestal. My mindset, as fucked as it might sound, is I don't view women as women, but as people. I don't approach a woman with the belief "she's the one". She's just another person. That's how I have female friends.

    • Wow I really want your mindset man

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The only red flag would be your lack of confidence. Never kissed or had sex or even touched is fine. Girls that have higher standards would even find that a good thing. However, no confidence can be a deal breaker for most people. Grow your confidence. Force yourself out of your comfort zone. Go to a bar or club out of your town so there's no risk of bumping into people you know and practice approaching people. That doesn't mean you're gonna take them home just because you talked to them, but it'll help you learn how to approach and talk.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Yeah wtf I lost my virginity at 15.

    • Well my good sir applause for you gonna guess you've had so much sex since then too uh. Be glad your not like me man

    • Yes more than I can remember.

  • sure is

  • I believe cases like this are more common today in modern times and if you remain a virgin longer, do you think you might ever consider an escort or sex worker or is paying for sex completely out of the question for you?

    • To be honest I've thought of that but then no it's not gonna turn out like that old Tom cruise movie for me man.

    • So would you rather remain a virgin later than normal than to ever pay for sex?

    • Paying for sex is not right man that how I see it.