Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Is it better to not make out/foreplay with a guy if I’m not going to have sex, than to give them blue balls?

I got in a situation with a guy where he ended up with blue balls and he got angry and walked out of the house and left me.
He fingered me, and I gave him a hand job but he couldn’t cum from that and he wanted me to give him a blow job and also have sex, which I wasn’t ready to do.

I’m 25 but all the guys I’ve been with have never been angry as this guy over it, they just got on with it so it made me question is it that bad... Am I in the wrong for just wanting to make out - would you guys prefer it if we didn’t make out at all if it’s not going to end up as sex?
I enjoy the making out because I want more but I’m just not ready to go all the way so I thought it’s still giving you something..
0 1

Most Helpful Girls

  • Just my opinion here but I don’t go beyond the kissing stage of making out if I’m not prepared to let things get sexual. Guys think differently than girls do. Letting him finger you and you touching his penis is highly arousing to a guy and they’ll want more than that. Some guys will be highly frustrated when foreplay doesn’t lead to sex. Foreplay kind of implies sex if boundaries weren’t discussed ahead of time. I would pull back a little bit next time and take things slower so his expectations won’t be so high.

    • Yeah going forward I won't ever go beyond the kissing anymore since guys clearly think differently.

  • Go for it! His blueballs are a testimony for how much he's into you.

Most Helpful Guys

  • It might be better. My suggestion is always let him know what to expect. Either ask him this very question, or say something like "I'm all for making out with you, but that's as far as I'm going" so he knows before you even start that nothing is going to happen. I personally would be fine fingering and hj, but some guys won't be. But if they know going in what to expect, then they really can't get upset.

    • Some guys will get upset if they think there might be more, and then making out etc gets them really in the mood, and then it's no. It would be like if a guy was eating you out, and you were just about to orgasm, and he stopped and left. And with some guys, that disappointment turns into anger if they don't handle it well.

  • Nah making out is good like. Yes both parties get really turned on, it's not like you cummed either.
    But maybe compromise, As in a blowjob isn't sex and it helps the guy finish, or dry hump / grind just to give him some acting.
    Didn't see anything about him going down on you though...

    • So is it actually that bad for you guys? Is it not just excitement or does it hurt you?

    • It does hurt slightly, our bodies are programmed that way, like foreplay is getting ready for sex, so our bodies prepare to cum, then we don't. We're always excited around girls lol

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 7

  • I consider handjobs and the like to be sexual acts. I would enjoy what you give when you give me orgasm, and a handjob would do that. And I would certainly enjoy all that you allow me to do with you. Him not cumming when you tried was his fault. He should have just finished himself. Please do not withhold the things you do from others because of this guy.

  • So you let him finger you but you not ready for sex? that's odd. Yes with most guys it better to avoid those things if you don't ready to go all the way, you was lucky that he had high self-control.

  • I would respect & accept that a girl I really like isn't ready for sex and would enjoy just making out with her and would love us just making each other cum with our hands

  • Making out is fine, but absolutely no foreplay.

    • Does it hurt for you guys to not cum or something? Because for me it just causes frustration but nothing that will anger me?

    • Nah, it's just irritating. The issue that happened with you was the fact he drove really far to see you and probably felt like he had jumped through a lot of hoops for you already.

    • Oh there was no point in asking this anonymously lol. But even making out the guy will still get a hard on and then will have blue balls 🤦🏽‍♀️

    • Show All

  • Sounds like it was his problem, not yours

  • He just did not want to cum from the hand job, you are better off with him gone.

  • Making out is good but dont take a guy to the edge and not finish him unless u agreed to that prior

    • So is it actually torture for a guy? Is it that bad?

    • It’s not that bad lol he’s a big wuss, but it’s certainly not polite

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