Sexual Relationships
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Is it biologically impossible for a man not to want to sleep with other women even though he's with someone?

Lately I've been hearing that men and women were not meant to be together forever. That a man biologically can't be completely faithful to one person. If this is true then why are some men and women so different? I personally can't have a sexual attraction without attachment and promise of being something greater. One night stands are not sexy to me, I've tried them but I don't get any satisfaction without love. This has been on my mind a lot.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Some men can. I recently wrote a post about this on the question how to get over a broken heart. After my own broken heart I looked into the science behind why it feels like it does:

    Its important to know what a broken heart is!
    Some people, not all, have a mutation that causes their brain to massively rewire itself around the relationship with their lover.
    Reward centers and pathways in the brain become much more related to that person's image, voice and presence. This is a great adaptation for two people that are going to use it for its intended purpose, but If you have this in your genes you will not be able to "sleep around" until your older and your endocrine system has begun to decline.
    Like I said not all people have this. People who fall in love also generally make new neural pathways easier, making them fast learners, and good at abstracting complex problems.
    You have to use this ability to heal. Getting over a lover is tough and requires a lot of discipline. You will need to change up your routines, meet new people and start new hobbies. The brain only has room for so many things to give you dopamine hits, you need to quicken the process by going out of your way to create new neural networks around different people and hobbies.
    That's the science of it though.
    When I was younger, damn. A woman that would date me would literally embody the goddess to me. It would feel like I was on a mushroom trip. I threw it away on women who never felt that way about me though and No one was there to tell me why I was different or how to fix it. Hope this helps!

    Maybe you need a northern european man who has this adaptation.

    • Wow that was most informative. I'm hoping that my brain will change soon because when I love someone it becomes physical, emotional and spiritual to a very scary level of attachment. When my heart was broken I couldn't eat.. I vomited all day and never slept it was like a drug withdrawal. I felt fluish and the only thing that stopped it was when I felt his love again... that's just plain f*cked up. It's kinda like quitting cold turkey... sometimes it needs to be gradual. Thank you for the insight.

    • I want to say that I dony resent my ancestors selecting for this ability. I wouldn't want to have my ability to Pair Bond be any less. Knowing has just made me more selective, I want someone that can ride the rollercoaster with me!

  • No. Not all men. I don't think men are any different than women in that regard. After all, some women cheat, too. In fact, some men claim that it's women who are more prone to cheat. But I don't think there is anything inherent in either gender.

    Men who are in relationships will certainly notice particularly tasty looking woman's assets. They can't help it. But it doesn't mean that they will want to sleep with them. They might think "Holy crap, would you look at that!" But not all men surrender to their appetites. Some men believe in loyalty and honor. Plus, they know the good thing they've got. They not only value and adore their partners looks and sexuality, but also the other non-sexual traits that make her a treasure beyond price.
    I NEVER cheated on a girlfriend. I've been married now for almost 25 years and would never cheat on my wife.

    • I second this.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Every person eventually, one day at least, desires to be with someone else (whether that is temporary or longer term). It's not a male-centric state. Although males desire it way, way, way, more often than the average female does. But part of that is social conditioning, not all just biology.

    There are plenty of men who can and do remain faithful.
    Tell this person who said this to you to bugger off. There's plenty of different types of people in the world. And their opinions are often fluid, depending on who they meet.

  • They won't act upon it. But they will be attracted to and fantasise about their holes and body while drilling you

    • Don't know why but this made me laugh lol

    • Haha i just said it raw

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 46

  • This conversation is more profound than the question and description you give. Entire books have been written that only cover a small aspect. Your statements about "sexual attraction without attachment" and "satisfaction without love" also cover a very small spectrum and go from one remote end of the spectrum (a monogamous forever relationship) to an extreme remote other end (I just met you in the last couple hours and will never see you again).

    This type of black and white framing will not serve you an accurate picture of the vast realm of romantic love.

    The answer to your question is "No".

    Don't despair. You will find what your passion leads you to.

  • You and I would be perfect partners, we share a common belief that a relationship needs to exist before you can truly enjoy being intimate together.
    However others could care less about their sex partner.

    so the answer is some people deeply care and some simply don’t. Best to associate yourself with like minded people.

  • I can observe beauty and appreciate it in other women but I don’t feel the need to act upon it while I’m with my partner…

  • If it was "biologically impossible for a man not to want to sleep with other women even though he's with someone," then every single man on the planet would be unfaithful, including your father and your brothers. Is that what you think of them?

    • Well all of my father's were unfaithful to my mother. My brother I'm not sure about. No need to get defensive I'm just reporting what I've been told by men.

    • Don't you realize that people who cheat always want to have an excuse that relieves them of responsibility for their actions? If you gave me sex more often, I wouldn't need to cheat. It was an accident. She seduced me. It only happened once. It didn't mean anything. If your notions about men are all based on what cheaters tell you, then you will have a very skewed opinion of my half of the species. I have been sexually active for almost 50 years and never once cheated on a partner. And MANY other men have been faithful their entire lives.

  • Sounds like you've been with a lot of bad men.

    • You could be right there.

    • Then choose better, and shut up :P

  • It definitely seems like it!

  • Once I met the woman who would become my wife, I had not interest in being with any other woman. I could look at and admire other women, but did not want to have sex with them.

  • If a man wants to cheat he's going to cheat if a man is married and wants to stay married he's going to stay married it's called choice make a choice and that's what they do that's what everybody says they make a choice you can do anything in this world you want to it's going to cost one choice done with that one choice it could cause a lot more things to

  • People cheat because they are not satisfied in some way. Its NOT all about sex. If your partner exceeds all your desires, cheating has zero allure. I’ll give an example. If im with a woman that inspires me to be a better man, is attractive, and fun in bed? Im not gonna cheat, and it ll take WAY MORE than just a pretty face to get me to fuck that up.

  • Nah that’s cap

  • That depends on what you mean by “want”. There are women I think I would enjoy having sex with, but I’m not going to risk my marriage to find out. Do I want to have sex with them? In a way but not enough to try to make it happen.

    • Hmmm

    • If I were suddenly single i would be hitting on them.

  • I don't think that's true. Men who cheat, or who want to cheat, like to blame biology rather than take responsibility for their own failings.
    You still find other people attractive when you're in a relationship, sure. But the desire to step out of a monogamous relationship, the willingness to betray your partner's trust, the selfishness of all that... that's not inevitable or a normal biological urge.

  • When I was younger I messed with a lot of girls kind of a friends with benefits thing I never cheated because there wasn’t any commitments. Then when I met my wife i fell in love on the spot but she was messing with a couple guys and I was messing with several girls so we didn’t make it just us for a few months and we dated for about another year and a half and got married. We’ve been married for close to 28 years now and I stayed true. There’s been a lot of opportunities to step out but I never have simply because I wouldn’t want to hurt hers or my daughters feelings even though she has stepped out twice on me. Of course now our marriage is not the same because I see it as fair is fair and I get 2 free passes but haven’t because I still have my daughters to think of. Now my wife is sick and that’s the main thing keeping me here because I’m not going to be the guy that bounces out when his wife gets sick

  • God made man as head and lord and made the woman for the man. Sometimes God makes women for this man and not just one woman.

    For instance, God gave David wives. So David was the perfect will of God to be their husband.

    A man like David therefore can have a Queen but was destined to bed more than one woman.

    #still thinking on it though

    • Lol came out with the religion card. No offense in it but not a good argument there.

    • I believe everything stems from true religion. I used to think bedding one woman made a man real but I am convinced of otherwise. A man can love only one woman and as long as his wife is open to the idea of him bedding another woman, he can bed as many as she allows without giving her love to them. But if she is not open to it, such a man can be faithful to one woman. The man in this story is me😀

  • It is possible for a man to only think sexually about one woman. A lot of it has to do with the health of the relationship, how satisfying the sexual relationship with the woman is, and the level of attraction to her. Monogamy evolved for a reason (polygamous societies are so violent that it is a risk to children), so it is reasonable to expect some men to be able to be content with one woman.

  • Not everyone might want to be monogamous, they may want another relationship, whether deeply emotional like poly or just another companion. Of course they things can be agreed upon with each partner and what not.

    • So yes.

  • I lose my attraction to other women when I'm in a relationship so I'd say it's possible

    • Honestly same here. When I'm in a relationship with someone my eyes are blind to other people. That's why I don't understand men that gawk at other women when they claim to be happy with their woman, same for women with their man. I've always felt different in that sense.

  • You need to STOP listening to people who tell you that nonsense. First we're NOT all cookie cutter and think the same way. Yes some guys cheat.. but I'd be willing to wager that those guys didn't love or love very deeply to begin with.
    When I'm in love it's like the sound and picture on other women get turned down. They don't hold the same allure because my heart belongs to the one I love. Can that change? Of course. She can reject and scorn me. But it's not easy for me and whether she dumps me or I leave her she'll take a piece of my heart with her. Because I've never been able to learn how to turn my heart off. I may hate you. But because I loved you once I'll never quit caring about you. It sucks! Lol

  • NOO!!

    That's exactly what I want. I want a partner, for life.

    I think that people have been brainwashed. They want the intimacy, but they don't want to be committed themselves. Like starting a company without committing it to succeed, it can't simply happen with such attitude.

    A hundred years ago people lived with almost nothing. They had to go to the mountains, and with their bare hands build crops.

    They knew that life wasn't found, but built. These days people treat love like going to the supermarket, you get something and if you don't like it you can discard it.

  • Depends how good she looks. I've cheated on EVERY single ex with small tits. No way I'd ever be faithful to one, haven't ever seen one over 7/10 in looks, most are 5s and 6s. And I can always snag a hotter b! tch with at least a Full C cup, so going lower than that feels like I'm downgrading.

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