Well, first off: relax. Anatomical realities get in the way of a LOT of things in life. If someone can't walk, do we just say "Oh, well" and not bother with them any more? No- we get them crutches or a wheelchair, or we get them treatment to help them so they can.
It's the same with sexual stuff; lots of virgins have lots of inaccurate ideas, and one of the most common is that your first time is inherently something magical and wonderful, instead of usually being awkward and embarrassing; the really good, in-depth, remember-this-moment-so-you-can-specifically-praise-it-to-God-when-you-die moments take practice and familiarity with your partner. In this case, something went wrong. Do you have some kind of medical condition or deformity? Well, maybe, but it's far more likely you were just nervous; performance anxiety isn't limited to men. Relax, and open yourself up psychologically, and it should go better next time. This sort of thing happens.
What about the guy? Well, you had a problem, and you found a workaround: oral. This shows you're able to think on your feet enough to see to your partner's satisfaction even when the first plan failed. That's a VERY good thing; any guy with a brain in his head will appreciate that. If this isn't his first go-around, he'll probably understand, or at least be open to understanding; if it IS, he might be wondering if there's something wrong with him (as penis size anxiety isn't limited to those who are (or think they are) small). PIV isn't the only way to have sex, and unless you're trying to get pregnant, there isn't a WRONG way to have sex; so long as everyone involved is happy, you're good. You actually might find it easier to start with digital (with fingers, that is) stimulation, and build up from there (frankly, I think starting out that way isn't a bad idea in general, since it's much easier to see what you're doing, but that's a whole other issue). You might be tempted to think that if the problem continues, you could just take care of him orally, and that might seem like it would work on the surface, but it's important to remember that giving sexual pleasure is a psychological need, just as receiving it is (a lot of women seem to struggle with understanding that, when it comes to men). It may take some experimentation, and will almost certainly have some awkward moments (not every experiment is a success, after all), but if you work together, you'll find a way to make it work for you.
What I'd do in your position is contact him and say something like "Hey, I had fun the other night. Want to get together again?". That lets him know you're still interested, and is vague enough that he won't think it's a "we need to talk" moment about the sexual encounter (remember that he, too, may feel embarrassed, or even ashamed, that things didn't work out smoothly at the time). You might also want to get yourself a suitable sex toy and try practicing with it; you might find that easier.
Good luck!
thank you for the in depth response, it helped me a lot. im taking you're advice and talking to him!
Glad to help. Have fun!
It is NOT embarrassing. Please don't worry about it. It happens a lot. Doesn't mean something's wrong with you. You will get better and perhaps you and he will get better. Addressing your concern that you're scared he won't like you anymore: if that's the case, dump he. If that's really the case, he's a jerk and he doesn't deserve you. First times are difficult and he should be thoughtful about it.
What should you do, you ask? Do nothing other than say something like, "I had fun. Can't wait to try it again". Then go do it again with him. In the meantime, it might help to learn how you like to get really wet and what helps you get that way. Also may help to buy a dildo that can help you practice.
your answer really helped me. thanks a lot! I feel better now.
I'm really glad. Firsts can be really difficult. This is where the old adage "practice makes perfect" comes in!
thanks for mho!
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Use lub, and just relax. Trust me you'll be fine.
Well that's a new thing I get to be worried about 💀💀
dw bro just get a nice guy who respects you. use lube, practice with a toy perhaps? that helped me my second time
You was virgin and he has a huge dick so it's not unexpected for that to happen.
thank you
Do not be embarrassed. It’s not a big deal. And, trust me, he had a good time. He’s not too big, and you’re not “too tight. “ You just need to relax and try again.
I have attempted intercourse, but found myself unable to penetrate.
Her "tightness" may have played a role (she was, almost certainly, a virgin), but she was too nervous, not comfortable enough, not well lubricated enough-and I was too inexperienced to "troubleshoot" those problems. and, of course, the more we kept trying and not succeeding, the more stressful it became, and the more she tensed up. Had we both been relaxed and taken things more slowly, it would have worked out fine.
How do I know this? Because we woke up in the middle of the night (we were camping in a small tent, so there wasn't an option for not spending the night, or of not snuggling-regardless of how awkward it might have become) and made it work. In the dark (and in much cooler air than the sweltering summer evening when we were both sweating and panting) when we were in each other's arms and kissing passionately (I still don't know who woke up whom-it just happened), it all just worked. It was tight, but it slid in without drama.
So, I don't know if "too tight" is an obstacle, so much as "too tense."
too tense probably. im sure Itll be better next time
and, goodness, you can have plenty of enjoyment with “halfway “penetration! I encourage you to coach him to try just the tip. Have him penetrate just head deep and work slowly with very small thrusts. You lay back, relax, and enjoy. That can be very nice just as it is, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it results in full penetration.
Yeah. You feel embarrassed and ashamed. Repent. Wait until you’re married
thats not what i was talking about. im not religious
Still sticking by what I said. You wanted opinions. You got one
Besides. You embarrassed yourself. Means you should have learned your lesson
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