Well, first off: relax. Anatomical realities get in the way of a LOT of things in life. If someone can't walk, do we just say "Oh, well" and not bother with them any more? No- we get them crutches or a wheelchair, or we get them treatment to help them so they can.
It's the same with sexual stuff; lots of virgins have lots of inaccurate ideas, and one of the most common is that your first time is inherently something magical and wonderful, instead of usually being awkward and embarrassing; the really good, in-depth, remember-this-moment-so-you-can-specifically-praise-it-to-God-when-you-die moments take practice and familiarity with your partner. In this case, something went wrong. Do you have some kind of medical condition or deformity? Well, maybe, but it's far more likely you were just nervous; performance anxiety isn't limited to men. Relax, and open yourself up psychologically, and it should go better next time. This sort of thing happens.
What about the guy? Well, you had a problem, and you found a workaround: oral. This shows you're able to think on your feet enough to see to your partner's satisfaction even when the first plan failed. That's a VERY good thing; any guy with a brain in his head will appreciate that. If this isn't his first go-around, he'll probably understand, or at least be open to understanding; if it IS, he might be wondering if there's something wrong with him (as penis size anxiety isn't limited to those who are (or think they are) small). PIV isn't the only way to have sex, and unless you're trying to get pregnant, there isn't a WRONG way to have sex; so long as everyone involved is happy, you're good. You actually might find it easier to start with digital (with fingers, that is) stimulation, and build up from there (frankly, I think starting out that way isn't a bad idea in general, since it's much easier to see what you're doing, but that's a whole other issue). You might be tempted to think that if the problem continues, you could just take care of him orally, and that might seem like it would work on the surface, but it's important to remember that giving sexual pleasure is a psychological need, just as receiving it is (a lot of women seem to struggle with understanding that, when it comes to men). It may take some experimentation, and will almost certainly have some awkward moments (not every experiment is a success, after all), but if you work together, you'll find a way to make it work for you.
What I'd do in your position is contact him and say something like "Hey, I had fun the other night. Want to get together again?". That lets him know you're still interested, and is vague enough that he won't think it's a "we need to talk" moment about the sexual encounter (remember that he, too, may feel embarrassed, or even ashamed, that things didn't work out smoothly at the time). You might also want to get yourself a suitable sex toy and try practicing with it; you might find that easier.
Good luck!
thank you for the in depth response, it helped me a lot. im taking you're advice and talking to him!
Glad to help. Have fun!
It is NOT embarrassing. Please don't worry about it. It happens a lot. Doesn't mean something's wrong with you. You will get better and perhaps you and he will get better. Addressing your concern that you're scared he won't like you anymore: if that's the case, dump he. If that's really the case, he's a jerk and he doesn't deserve you. First times are difficult and he should be thoughtful about it.
What should you do, you ask? Do nothing other than say something like, "I had fun. Can't wait to try it again". Then go do it again with him. In the meantime, it might help to learn how you like to get really wet and what helps you get that way. Also may help to buy a dildo that can help you practice.
your answer really helped me. thanks a lot! I feel better now.
I'm really glad. Firsts can be really difficult. This is where the old adage "practice makes perfect" comes in!
thanks for mho!
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Use lub, and just relax. Trust me you'll be fine.
Well that's a new thing I get to be worried about 💀💀
dw bro just get a nice guy who respects you. use lube, practice with a toy perhaps? that helped me my second time
You was virgin and he has a huge dick so it's not unexpected for that to happen.
thank you
Do not be embarrassed. It’s not a big deal. And, trust me, he had a good time. He’s not too big, and you’re not “too tight. “ You just need to relax and try again.
I have attempted intercourse, but found myself unable to penetrate.
Her "tightness" may have played a role (she was, almost certainly, a virgin), but she was too nervous, not comfortable enough, not well lubricated enough-and I was too inexperienced to "troubleshoot" those problems. and, of course, the more we kept trying and not succeeding, the more stressful it became, and the more she tensed up. Had we both been relaxed and taken things more slowly, it would have worked out fine.
How do I know this? Because we woke up in the middle of the night (we were camping in a small tent, so there wasn't an option for not spending the night, or of not snuggling-regardless of how awkward it might have become) and made it work. In the dark (and in much cooler air than the sweltering summer evening when we were both sweating and panting) when we were in each other's arms and kissing passionately (I still don't know who woke up whom-it just happened), it all just worked. It was tight, but it slid in without drama.
So, I don't know if "too tight" is an obstacle, so much as "too tense."
too tense probably. im sure Itll be better next time
and, goodness, you can have plenty of enjoyment with “halfway “penetration! I encourage you to coach him to try just the tip. Have him penetrate just head deep and work slowly with very small thrusts. You lay back, relax, and enjoy. That can be very nice just as it is, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it results in full penetration.
Why would you be embarrassed? It's normal to be super tight especially if he's got a giant dick. Make sure you have plenty of foreplay, making out, touching each other, let him play with your pussy with his fingers, let him lick you. Get super horny and try again
Yeah. You feel embarrassed and ashamed. Repent. Wait until you’re married
thats not what i was talking about. im not religious
Still sticking by what I said. You wanted opinions. You got one
Besides. You embarrassed yourself. Means you should have learned your lesson
Don't worry about it.
Next time, try to be as relaxed as possible. If you can, try and reach the point of orgasm from him licking your clit and fingering you, then ask him to enter you when you are at your most aroused.
You might find some lube will help him ease into you - start with just the tip of his penis and see how that feels.
Poorly planned but not necessarily embarrassing.
thank u i hope it doesn't mess up our friendshio too much
Take it easy and slow the next time and use personal lube before starting up.
Start masturbating with a fake penis dildo with lots of lube and you should be opening up in no time 😉
done already!! it did help actually
Excellent 👍🙂. by the way what size dildo did you end up buying and what color?
a cute pink one its only 14 cm so its not his size at all
Don't be embarrassed. Virgins are expected to be tight. If he really cares about you he will want to have sex with you again. You were probably nervous so you tensed up and made it tighter. Tell him you enjoyed your time with him and you would like to do it again. Have him give you an orgasm before he penetrate you this time so you are plenty wet inside. After you orgasm you will be more relaxed
i was so nervous!! hopefully next time will be better
Have him give you an orgasm before he penetrates you. You will be more relaxed afterwards. Right after you orgasm tell him to put it in.
No, not at all. I don't know of any guy doesn't like the tight feel. Were you wet enough?
i wasn't that wet tbh but we used lube. i hope it gors betrer next time!
Make sure you are very wet from now on, and the more foreplay the better.
i will try
Was it just casual sex only?
yeah
actually we were just friends
That is hot as fuck!
U should try again
I'm guessing a bit of it had to do with nerves. Remember it is possible for a baby's head to fith through there, unless he's a mutant, his dick isn't that big.
thats so true I'll think of that the next time 😭😭
No, it's very common. First time and nerves do the part.
thank u. i felt so wrong!
Don't feel bad. Second time will be better. Guaranteed
i truly hope so
There is nothing like that exist, all pussy is fuckable.
This shouldn't be done outside of genuine-love contexts. And if you were in a context of the right kind, I really doubt you would have posted such a question: the need to would not have been there.
yeah it was totally platonic
I love when girls are too tight. If the guy doesn't get it into you, just tell him some other guy will and he will find a way.
You were not fully turned on were you?
no not really
That's why that happened
Not your fault. It's his responsibility to make you fully turned on first then put it in. It could have been really painful for you or even make you bleed
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