Is it ever ok to take advantage of a intoxicated women, or victim blame?

one time this guy had got me so drunk to the point that i got sick. I was so hot, so i took off my clothes off and lay down in his bed in my underwear. He took it apon himself to take my panties off & penetrate me , even tho i told him no, & to stop! So is it my fault for getting naked and laying in his bed?
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Superb Opinion

  • So, if what you say is indeed true, and you said no, but he kept on going, then what he did was wrong.

    However, saying that "this guy had got me so drunk"... How exactly did HE get YOU so drunk? Did he force feed you alcohol?

    I've certainly had my moments of getting pretty shit faced and throw up sick more times than I can count, but I never once blamed anybody else for my own adult choices.

    I got myself drunk. I swayed to the pressure of friends to have more when I knew I should take a break or stop. I'm the one responsible for my own actions and choices.

    Nobody else got me drunk and sick. I did that to myself.

    So do I believe that this guy got you drunk? No. You got yourself drunk. You're a grown, legal-aged adult, responsible for your own choices and actions.

    But, that doesn't mean I blame you for being taken advantage of by someone else.

    I mean, I don't ever recall being so drunk that I also felt so hot that I needed to strip down to my underwear at someone else's house, but I also understand alcohol affects others differently, so benefit of the doubt.

    Even when I've been borderline blind from being so drunk, I've always had some logical sense of reason going in my head to know right from wrong. I've never left myself in a compromising situation. I knew well enough not to take advantage of others and I knew well enough when a scene is going sour and it's time to leave. I never ended up in my underwear at someone else's house, in someone else's bed.

    But even if I did end up in that situation, it's still no excuse or justification for someone else to take advantage or have their way with me... Or you, or anyone else.

    So yeah, he was in the wrong for the last half of your story, but you getting so fk'n shit faced the way you did... that's all on you.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Sexual assault is considered alcohol and drug-facilitated when the survivor is unable to give consent because she or he is under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. These substances inhibit the survivor’s ability to resist the sexual act and sometimes even prevent them from remembering the event. These assaults occur in two ways: the perpetrator will either take advantage or the perpetrator will force the survivor to consume drugs or alcohol without their knowledge or consent. Many survivors will blame themselves in these situations; sometimes they are told that they “drank too much” or “shouldn’t have been partying,” and this causes them to feel guilty. Remember that even under these circumstances, the assault is not the survivor’s fault.

Most Helpful Girl

  • In the eyes of the law it could be considered rape since you were intoxicated however this might be hard to prove as it might end up being your word against his I’m sorry that happened to you

    • That’s sad

    • Its not rape because she was intoxicated, its rape because she said no / stop. Wtf is wrong with you?

    • @Guffrus The asker's point was she was being taken advantage of being she was drunk.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 19
  • In that moment that girl is saying to you I trust you I respect you and thank you..
    If she wanted to have sex with you she would have taken off her panties by herself and she would have told you to get undressed and getting bed. The guy should have his ass kicked

  • No, never.

  • No. Must be consensual and if one of you is drunk, you are not in control enough to consent.

  • No this is evil and disrespectful. Lovemaking is not good unless both parties enjoy it and it is a give and take.

  • No of course it's not right the only thing though is if a girl is drunk and the guy is drunk too and they have sex that is not rape and the guy should not be charged.

  • well think of it like this. if you get drunk and decide to drive and kill someone on the road, are you not responsible for that cause you were intoxicated? what you do is up to you. that includes whatever you do even when you're intoxicated. i take it he was dunk as well. so i assume there was some missunderstanding or misscommunication going on. either way: if you're that drunk, you have a problem with alcohol...

    • So saying no wasn’t good enough? U left that part out

    • You know i just have a very hard time understanding how you really not wanting sex with the guy would play out. I mean you said no. Ok. Did he not react? Did he not hear? Not understand? What happened? Did he say "I'll fuck you whether you want it or not"? Like did he force feed you alcohol with the intend of overcoming your resistance to his sexual advances? Like how did it happen that you had sex if that wasn't what you wanted?

    • I mean if i don't want sex with someone, i push them off and make sure they're not fucking me. So they would have to violently break my resistance and restrain me. How much of that was in your story?

    • Show All
  • Well u Stripped first so you, started it,

  • No, not in my opinion. That's just wrong.

  • Ni; but it is also never OK to get drunk in the first place!

  • Its rape and... it can be called off by saying in the heat of moment... so sorry that happened to you.

  • Absolutely not! I have been out with girls that get extremely drunk and I will get them home safe and never take advantage of them

  • Are you crazy? That’s rape!!! And no it’s not your fault. It’s absolutely not your fault. Have you spoken to anyone about this? How are you dealing with it?

  • You provoked him

  • No, it is never ok, everything you do must have consent of both the parties.

  • I think it's Horrible that he took advantage of you, it is NEVER OK

  • No of course not, But Girls can get away with it sometimes.

  • Both are equally wrong regardless how you put it

  • You said no, he raped you

  • Your situation just like my girlfriend and its really hard to prove that it was not consensual sex in the first place. Leave her traumatise since she also virgin by that time. Up till this day she still hope he did not share the picture of her to others.

  • While he is doing it, were u able to move? Like did u push him away?

    • I tried to but i was really intoxicated, but saying no isn’t enough?

    • I don't know the law but if u said no and tried to push him away i think it is rape.